Lincoln Can and Will Come Back

Doug DeMuro
by Doug DeMuro

Over the last two years, attacking Lincoln has become tremendously “in.” This is because doing so will cause everyone to agree with you, which is sort of like when people complain about drivers in their hometown. Seriously: no matter what major city you visit, the drivers there are “the worst,” according to local residents who have obviously never visited Italy.

The latest industry observer to attack Lincoln is David Kiley, who wrote an editorial yesterday for Autoblog entitled “ Lincoln needs a farewell address, not a new marketing plan.” This received a generally warm welcome, which mirrors the one Kiley will get in tomorrow’s Detroit Free Press for writing an op-ed piece called “Detroit Drivers Are The Worst.” The latter story would probably win him a Pulitzer, except the committee is in New York and they are absolutely certain Manhattan drivers are the worst.

The only problem is that all of the Lincoln doubters are wrong.

Before you say it, I’m well aware of what you’re thinking: I must be crazy. Regular readers already know this to be true, since I owned a Range Rover Classic. But for those who need more proof, here it is: I have absolutely no idea how Lincoln will come back. I won’t lay out a marketing plan as Kiley did, despite announcing in his title that Lincoln doesn’t need one. I just know they will.

How Do I Know?

To me, there’s one clear reason Lincoln can revive itself: it’s been done before with much less.

Take Porsche, for example. Many of you are aware I once worked for Porsche, though my former superiors may object to my use of the term “work.” Either way, I woke up every morning and drove to the office. Twenty years ago, Porsche’s lineup was about as stale as Lincolns. Back then, Porsche offered three vehicles; the 928, which came out in 1977, was the newest. They sold as many cars in 1993 as they do now in a good month. The best car they were building had a Mercedes-Benz badge on it. And the window stickers were hand-written by someone who majored in calligraphy. (OK, some of this may be slightly inaccurate.)

Of course, the David Kileys of the time probably wrote Porsche off. I don’t have access to any of these articles, but I bet they had headlines like: “Porsche Needs a Farewell Address, and Stuttgart Drivers Are The Worst.”

Audi is the same way. In the early 1990s, Audi had precisely one reputation: the brand that wasn’t quite as good as BMW at anything except making cars that accelerated when you pushed the brake pedal. But in 1996, Audi rolled out the A4 – and just ten years later, everyone who was formerly not using the turn signal in a BMW was now not using the turn signal in an Audi.

Of course, Audi and Porsche are just small-time German car companies now joined at the hip by the automotive equivalent to Napoleon. How are they relevant to Lincoln?

Fine. Forget Audi and Porsche. It’s coincidental that the subject of Lincoln comes up (not really, I brought it up) since just yesterday I posted a review of my former 2004 Cadillac CTS-V. In it, I made the point that the CTS was Cadillac’s first real post-Escalade attempt to turn the brand around. Following the CTS came dozens of other efforts, some of which were good (ATS, SRX) and some of which were quite awful (DTS, that Escalade pickup thing). But by now, everyone agrees Cadillac has enjoyed a complete rebirth from a hole of obscurity they were facing just seven years before the CTS came out, when their flagship was the vinyl-roofed Fleetwood Brougham.

Back to Lincoln

Two things set Lincoln apart from Porsche, Audi, and even Cadillac. One is, very obviously, money. Lincoln has it. We know this because Lincoln is part of the Ford Motor Company, who awards Alan Mulally an eight-figure bonus every time he tells that joke about how the company’s been going out of business for 40 years.

The other thing is even more obvious: talent. Lincoln has that, too. Mulally may earn big bucks, but it’s because he and his staff have already done the impossible once before. These are the people who orchestrated Ford’s transformation from automotive obscurity to a constant front-runner. Except, of course, in the hallowed “outdated, large rear-wheel drive sedan” segment. Sorry, TTAC.

Those who complain about Lincoln’s current lineup are too shortsighted to see the brand’s limitless possibilities. Surely, there were doubters when Porsche launched the Boxster; when Audi debuted the A4; when Cadillac came out with the CTS. And I bet we don’t have to dig very deeply to find articles labeling Ford “dead and buried” when their best car was a full-size sedan called the Five Hundred. But every one of those brands proved the pundits wrong. So will Lincoln.

No, I have no idea how Ford will revive Lincoln, and I’m not going to provide suggestions. Because considering the wonders they’ve worked with Ford, Mulally and crew don’t need my input. They just need to work hard, and do their best to avoid those awful Dearborn drivers. Really, they’re the worst.

Doug DeMuro operates PlaysWithCars.com. He’s owned an E63 AMG wagon, road-tripped across the US in a Lotus without air conditioning, and posted a six-minute lap time on the Circuit de Monaco in a rented Ford Fiesta. One year after becoming Porsche Cars North America’s youngest manager, he quit to become a writer. His parents are very disappointed.

Doug DeMuro
Doug DeMuro

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  • Andy D Andy D on Apr 11, 2013

    Lincoln is a trim package. When did it last have a unique chassis/ body?

  • Whip Whip on Apr 20, 2013

    Ok but all you really did was talk about other brands... and how many cars have you had?! I've read now only 2 of your reviews and it seems you have owned everything short of a McLaren... Anyway point of the matter, staying on topic, is that Lincoln is failing... I actually work for a large dealership in Manhattan, which does not have the worst drivers, and in my dealership we have a Lincoln brand... for the last 4 weeks the same 7 cars have sat still in the showroom... NO ONE WANTS A $50,000 Fusion! Ford will stick around, obviously, but Lincoln is sinking fast... they need to pay attention and get their heads out of their rear ends and come out with some smarter designs... and appeal to their demographics... They will not make it if they don't do these things because right now short of the people wanting to drive an even fancier Ford Edge there isn't any other reason to buy a Lincoln.

  • Bkojote Allright, actual person who knows trucks here, the article gets it a bit wrong.First off, the Maverick is not at all comparable to a Tacoma just because they're both Hybrids. Or lemme be blunt, the butch-est non-hybrid Maverick Tremor is suitable for 2/10 difficulty trails, a Trailhunter is for about 5/10 or maybe 6/10, just about the upper end of any stock vehicle you're buying from the factory. Aside from a Sasquatch Bronco or Rubicon Jeep Wrangler you're looking at something you're towing back if you want more capability (or perhaps something you /wish/ you were towing back.)Now, where the real world difference should play out is on the trail, where a lot of low speed crawling usually saps efficiency, especially when loaded to the gills. Real world MPG from a 4Runner is about 12-13mpg, So if this loaded-with-overlander-catalog Trailhunter is still pulling in the 20's - or even 18-19, that's a massive improvement.
  • Lou_BC "That’s expensive for a midsize pickup" All of the "offroad" midsize trucks fall in that 65k USD range. The ZR2 is probably the cheapest ( without Bison option).
  • Lou_BC There are a few in my town. They come out on sunny days. I'd rather spend $29k on a square body Chevy
  • Lou_BC I had a 2010 Ford F150 and 2010 Toyota Sienna. The F150 went through 3 sets of brakes and Sienna 2 sets. Similar mileage and 10 year span.4 sets tires on F150. Truck needed a set of rear shocks and front axle seals. The solenoid in the T-case was replaced under warranty. I replaced a "blend door motor" on heater. Sienna needed a water pump and heater blower both on warranty. One TSB then recall on spare tire cable. Has a limp mode due to an engine sensor failure. At 11 years old I had to replace clutch pack in rear diff F150. My ZR2 diesel at 55,000 km. Needs new tires. Duratrac's worn and chewed up. Needed front end alignment (1st time ever on any truck I've owned).Rear brakes worn out. Left pads were to metal. Chevy rear brakes don't like offroad. Weird "inside out" dents in a few spots rear fenders. Typically GM can't really build an offroad truck issue. They won't warranty. Has fender-well liners. Tore off one rear shock protector. Was cheaper to order from GM warehouse through parts supplier than through Chevy dealer. Lots of squeaks and rattles. Infotainment has crashed a few times. Seat heater modual was on recall. One of those post sale retrofit.Local dealer is horrific. If my son can't service or repair it, I'll drive 120 km to the next town. 1st and last Chevy. Love the drivetrain and suspension. Fit and finish mediocre. Dealer sucks.
  • MaintenanceCosts You expect everything on Amazon and eBay to be fake, but it's a shame to see fake stuff on Summit Racing. Glad they pulled it.
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