By on October 4, 2012

The problem with the FR-S’ unrefined bumps, lumps and Trapezoid Homage to the 1977 Mercury Cougar now has a decent solution.  And what of this workaround?  It’s brutal. It’s borderline inexcusable.  But my goodness, it works…too bad I’m making you click to see it. 



A gigantic wing with mounting points that emulate the Cougar trapezoid form: all of a sudden the decklid has purpose! The hunks of metal (aluminum?) empathize with the trapezoid butt and the slant of the taillights.  And will you look at the decklid’s Bangle Butt with a big-ass spoiler on it? Not for a while!

Too bad there’s a downside.

Wings are pretty retarded.  You need the stance, the wheels, the wide-body flares and all the streetability compromise that comes with.  (Piston Slap moment: insert LSX-FTW swap here) This is pure race fantasy, but this FR-S (okay, BRZ) makes it work.  And it proves that purposeful race design can be both functional and beautiful.  Just don’t try this at home, kids…

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22 Comments on “Vellum Venom Vignette: The Aftermarket Fixes All!...”

  • avatar

    There are supposed to be some 2JZ-GTE-swapped GT86/BRZs around – perhaps this is one of them (the only way to excuse a wing that would fit a Boeing)?

  • avatar
    Volt 230

    Reminds me of a few 3 speed auto Corollas I’ve seen around with a smaller but still ridiculous wing for a car that struggles to get to 80mph

  • avatar

    The only improvement to the rear of an FR-S I recommend is a Toyota emblem.

  • avatar

    Do you have more shots of that car? I’m curious what it looks like from other angles.

  • avatar

    Aftermarket Wwings are fine…if you’re out on a race track or carrying bikes on them.

    Otherwise I agree, they are completely stupid.

  • avatar

    Needs moar yellow stickers.

  • avatar

    With a wing that size, no need to grope around to lift the trunk lid.

    Could also be handy to put your beer on when at the local tunerz meet.

  • avatar

    Would love to see some profile shots of the car.

    This particular one was outfitted with some serious flares and the wheels seem to have a lot of camber in them as well.

  • avatar
    Volt 230

    must have taken that wing from an ’89 Californian Civic 4 door.

  • avatar

    Where’s Vin Diesel?

    • 0 avatar

      Under the windshield on the driver’s side, just where it is on gasoline vehicles. Though it can be hard to see on a lifted F-250, unless you’re unusually tall.

  • avatar

    FYI: the photo (with credit, of course) came from the Facebook page called “Nostalgia Imports”. Fan them, ask them for more pics.

  • avatar

    here’s another shot:

    that’s the BEE☆R (a japanese tuner, obvs) BRZ.

    there are other mod’d versions here:

    I’m liking the Greddy/Rocket Bunny car.

    I noticed particularly this week that I am seeing a lot of these. i think the design is much better in person, less round and more flattened out.

  • avatar

    I saw one of these bridge girders on a car in a mall parking lot last friday. It was on a Dodge Intrepid. I wasn’t aware that Intrepids were in need of so much downforce. Unless this FR-S is flogged on track day its just another ridiculous poser.

  • avatar

    “Retarded”? Did you graduate from the YouTube Comments School of Journalism? I just can’t figure this site out – sometimes I feel that it’s the most well-written, non-biased, informative, fun, and relevant automotive site on the ‘net. And sometimes I think it’s written by 14 year-olds between games of Minecraft.

  • avatar

    I think it would be interesting to see your take on popular aftermarket body kits for this car as well as offerings for the usual boy racer cars like the EG civic hatch, FC and FD RX7, and S13 240sx. There have been many examples of aero produced for those vehicles. Sure, there are plenty of “misses”, but what does Sajeev like, and why?

    • 0 avatar

      Interesting. I will keep that in mind if I ever go to a tunerboi event.

      But I wonder if this is like a Foodie being forced to dine at a Golden Corral. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…I’m just sayin’!

  • avatar

    At least the wing may actually be doing something beneficial for aero at semi-normal speeds.

  • avatar

    No! No! No! Just look at all those sharp creases and flat surfaces. This car is a perfect vehicle for a return to two-tone, three-tone, multi-tone paint jobs. Imagine a palette of pastels doing battle with primary colors. It’s time to bring back the wonderful, colorful Nineteen-Fifties and defeat the black/white/silver monotony – we might even get chrome bumpers back!!

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