Vellum Venom Vignette: The Aftermarket Fixes All!
The problem with the FR-S’ unrefined bumps, lumps and Trapezoid Homage to the 1977 Mercury Cougar now has a decent solution. And what of this workaround? It’s brutal. It’s borderline inexcusable. But my goodness, it works…too bad I’m making you click to see it.
A gigantic wing with mounting points that emulate the Cougar trapezoid form: all of a sudden the decklid has purpose! The hunks of metal (aluminum?) empathize with the trapezoid butt and the slant of the taillights. And will you look at the decklid’s Bangle Butt with a big-ass spoiler on it? Not for a while!
Too bad there’s a downside.
Wings are pretty retarded. You need the stance, the wheels, the wide-body flares and all the streetability compromise that comes with. (Piston Slap moment: insert LSX-FTW swap here) This is pure race fantasy, but this FR-S (okay, BRZ) makes it work. And it proves that purposeful race design can be both functional and beautiful. Just don’t try this at home, kids…
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At least the wing may actually be doing something beneficial for aero at semi-normal speeds.
No! No! No! Just look at all those sharp creases and flat surfaces. This car is a perfect vehicle for a return to two-tone, three-tone, multi-tone paint jobs. Imagine a palette of pastels doing battle with primary colors. It's time to bring back the wonderful, colorful Nineteen-Fifties and defeat the black/white/silver monotony - we might even get chrome bumpers back!!