And the Real Winner Is…

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

It is not possible for a Chrysler minivan to finish in the top third of a weekend-long race on the car-killing turns and hils of Infineon Raceway, which is proof that this weekend’s race never happened. That means that the performance of the Team Soccer Moms’ Caravan must have been the product of mass hallucination.

This factory-5-speed-equipped Dodge family hauler finished ahead of more than 100 competitors, while remaining nearly black-flag- and breakdown-free all weekend.

The Soccer Moms battled a Colt, a GLC, a Fire Arrow, and an Escort wagon for IOE honors. In the end, even a Fire Arrow couldn’t match the sheer inappropriateness of a K-car-based minivan as a race car. Congratulations, Soccer Moms!



Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Hagerty and The Truth About Cars.

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  • Cruz53a Cruz53a on Oct 25, 2011

    we had a blast this weekend. the van handled great and loved turn 6 where we could make most of our passes, just wish we had more HP to keep most of those passes.

    • Victell Victell on Oct 26, 2011

      Congrats on your great run. Running a van is definitely inspired. Can you tell us more about it? What did you do to the body? Did you keep the glass or go lexan? How did you get it to handle well?? Also, why didnt you do more mods to get the HP up? I heard these engines are pretty strong and relatevely easy to make more power. I think I want one of these vans now...

  • Cruz53a Cruz53a on Oct 27, 2011

    the van has been gutted of all unnecessary weight, i mean everything. we removed wires and connectors from the harness, thats how crazy we got with it. the doors are nothing but a thin piece of sheetmetal, the glass has been replaced with lexan, the suspension is put together using dodge spirit struts with cut van springs and an axle flip with repositioned stock shocks at the rear. the stock spring rates work well with the lightened van. from about 3350lbs stock to about 2650lbs race ready. the engine is bone stock with the exception of removing the balance shafts. we feel that turning laps is more important than stressing the engine with mods, crazy but it works. i think the most important part of the operation is the respect our drivers have for each other, the van and the competition.

  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh utterly dumb use case .. lets jar, shake, thermally shock, cover in water, hammer, jump and violently vibrate all the things that combust and connect stupid amounts of current.
  • Slavuta Das Kia Visionhttps://www.kia.com/us/en/kia-collective/vision/designing-the-next-chapter.html
  • FreedMike …or maybe Kia actually looked at the thing and said, “my word, that thing is ugly and no one is going to buy it, never mind what it runs on”…
  • Probert Over 30,000,000 EVs have been sold this year. Many in America, sadly for your thesis. Whether the US wishes to participate in this tech moving forward, or not, others are. In essence we have ceded the world to China in this regard, and in yet another field we will be relegated to second rate moribundity. Happy days!!!!Oh - South Korea has halted billions in investment in the US. Investment that could have employed thousands of Americans. Good times!!!!Oh - last year some 4 million people died prematurely from fossil fuel pollution. Party on!!!!!
  • Fred Granted there must be thousands of parts in a car. I'm sure they are designing cars with computers and use a MRP system, so it's all documented. Do a querey and pull it up. Unless you they want to hide something.
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