Hugh Hefner, Rod Rats, and a Tube-Framed Lloyd: BS Inspections of the Arse Sweat-a-Palooza 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin
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hugh hefner rod rats and a tube framed lloyd bs inspections of the arse

I came down with some sort of terrible New England vasculo-plague at the Boston Tow Party race, and so the croakers said I couldn’t travel to hot, sticky Thunderhill Raceway in California for the second annual Arse Sweat-a-Palooza. Bummer! That doesn’t mean you won’t get to see who and what are racing this weekend, however, because Assistant Perp Nick Pon was kind enough to send in his photos of today’s car inspections.

Judge Armand had the privilege of meeting the female members of the now-Playboy-themed Eyesore Racing, 2010 LeMons Intergalactic Super-Champions. Yes, they can drive… faster than you, suckaz!

In case you were wondering what the members of the LeMons HQ staff choose to drive the 150 miles to the track, here’s a typical pair of daily drivers for the folks that run the event.

The team that created the Bavarian Ranchero has raised the madness level with their latest racer: a tube-framed, motorcycle-engined Lloyd Hansa Alexander. Experience has shown that all such cars struggle to make any laps at all during their first event, but we’re hoping things will be different for the Lloyd… because it’s a Lloyd!

Fresh from the triumph of their feature in the latest issue of Hot Rod (sorry, not available online yet), the members of the Model T GT team have gone with the “rat rod” look for their outfits. Sure, triple-digit temperatures might make those rat costumes a bit sweaty, but sometimes racers need to make sacrifices for the sake of image.

It’s always good to see the teams registering while in uniform.

The Space Shuttle-themed LeMons teams just keep getting better and better.

Legend of LeMons Speedycop just had to come out to California and race where the whole LeMons thing got started, and so he bought the Death Cab V8olvo, which is actually the descendant of my old race car, from the days when I was a black-flag recipient rather than a race official.

Of course, the Ford 302 engine that was once in the V8olvo ended up powering the Model T GT, which meant that Speedycop and henchmen had to find a basket-case engine-donor Mustang the day before the race and do a last-second-frantic thrash to get the V8olvo in semi-driving condition. Will it run? Who can say?

The 283-powered Chevy S10 with full 1985-custom-minitruck regalia has even more boom in the bed this time. Ideally, it will be audible from any location on the track.











Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Writer d'Elegance Brougham Landau.

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  • Raphael Orlove Raphael Orlove on Aug 06, 2011

    is that the lloyd that was on Hooniverse a few months back? I didn't think the comments on the necessity of a motorcycle engine swap were serious, but then I guess I underestimate the LeMons crowd.

  • CarPerson CarPerson on Aug 06, 2011

    Hef at 35: Cool dude. Hef at 85: Creepy dude.

  • 285exp If the conversion to EVs was really so vital to solve an existential climate change crisis, it wouldn’t matter whether they were built by US union workers or where the batteries and battery materials came from.
  • El scotto Another EBPosky, "EVs are Stoopid, prove to me water freezes at 0 degrees Celsius" article.It was never explained if the rural schools own the buses or if the school bus routes are contracted out. If the bus routes are contracted out, will Carpenter or Bluebird offer an electric school bus? Flexmatt never stated the range of brand-unspecified school bus. Will the min-mart be open at the end of the 179-mile drive? No cell coverage? Why doesn't the bus driver have an emergency sat phone?Two more problems Mr. Musk could solve.
  • RICK Long time Cadillac admirer with 89 Fleetwood Brougham deElegance and 93 Brougham, always liked Eldorado until downsized after 76. Those were the days. Sad to see what now wears Cadillac name.
  • Carsofchaos Bike lanes are in use what maybe 10 to 12 hours a day? The other periods of the day they aren't in use whatsoever. A bike can carry one person and a vehicle can carry multiple people. It's very simple math to figure out that a bike lane in no way shape or form will handle more people than cars will.The bigger issue is double parked delivery vehicles. They are often double parked and taking up lanes because there are cars parked on the curb. You combine that with a bike lane and pedestrians Crossing wherever they feel like it and it's a recipe for disaster. I think if we could just go back to two lanes of traffic things would flow much better. I started coming to the city in 2003 before a lot of these bike lanes were implemented and the traffic is definitely much worse now than it was back then. Sadly at this point I don't really think there is a solution but I can guarantee that congestion pricing will not fix this problem.
  • Charles When I lived in Los Angeles I saw a 9-5 a few times and instanly admired the sweeping low slug aerodynamic jet tech influenced lines and all that beautiful glass. The car was very different from what I expected from a Saab even though the 900 Turbo was nice. A casual lady friend had a Saab Sonnet, never drove or rode in it but nonetheless chilled my enthusiasm and I eventually forgot about Saabs. In the following years I have had seven Mercedes's, three or four Jaguars even two Daimlers both the 250 V-8 and the massive and powerful Majestic Major. Daily drivers of a brand new 300ZX 2+2 and Lincolns, plus a few diesel trucks. Having moved to my big farm in central New York, trucks and SUV's are the standard, even though I have a Mercedes S500 in one of my barns. Due to circumstances with my Ford Explorer and needing a second driver I found the 2006 9-5 locally. Very little surface rust, none undercarriage, original owner, garage kept, wife driver and all the original literature and a ton of paid receipts and history. The car just turned 200,000 miles and I love it. Feels new like I'm back in my Nissan 300ZX with a lot more European class and ready power with the awesome turbo. So fun to drive, the smooth power and torque is incredible! Great price paid to justify going through the car and giving her everything she needs, i.e., new tires, battery, all shocks, struts, control arms, timing chain and rust removable to come, plus more. The problem now is I want to restore it and likely put it in my concrete barn and only drive in good weather. As to the writer, Alex Dykes, I take great exception calling the 9-5 Saab "ugly," finding myself looking back at her beauty and uniqueness. Moreover, I get new looks from others not quite recognizing, like the days out west with my more expensive European cars. There are Saabs eclipsing 300K rourinely and one at a million miles and I believe one car with 500K on the original engine. So clearly, this is a keeper, in love already with my SportCombi. I want to be in that elite club.
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