The Booth Babe Chronicles: How Your Car Will Ruin Your Sex Life

The Booth Babe
by The Booth Babe

Both men and women have their stereotypes, as I quickly learned on the auto show circuit. One is that women won’t date a guy unless he drives a hot ride. I’m here to tell you that, for the most part, it is not true.

Yes, there are some gold diggers and Polly Prissy Pants who won’t get into anything that costs less than $60K, but most of us aren’t total douchettes. Our desires for your vehicle are as follows: It is clean. It doesn’t smell. It doesn’t belong to your mom. It is representative of your station in life.

You cannot possibly expect a possible love match to get into a filthy vehicle that hasn’t seen a car wash since the previous administration, whose interior reeks of beer and cigarettes, and whose seats are sticky and stained with God knows what bodily fluids. Actually, we probably know what those bodily fluids are not, because there’s no way you’re getting laid in that thing. We just spent the better part of two hours in hair, makeup and wardrobe to look good for you. Please take ten minutes, and vacuum the car.

If you’re 25 and you pick me up in a minivan or a Volvo, I know one of two things: Either you’re married and cheating or you’re driving your mom’s car. Neither option will get you very far in this relationship. The first is self-explanatory, and the second implies you haven’t cut the apron strings or gotten a job that pays higher than minimum wage. I have lots of respect for an honest days’ work regardless of pay, but most women (me included) want a man who is at least as ambitious and successful as she. We want an even playing field.

Which brings me to my next point: Make sure you’re driving a car representative of your station in life. If you’re CIO of a major tech firm (and yes, we Googled you to make sure you weren’t lying) and you roll up in an old rusted out VW Rabbit, we know you’re cheap. I don’t have a problem buying my own dinner, but I would have a major problem living with a miser who splits two-ply toilet paper into one. That is the first image in our minds when you pull up in a cheap old car far below your pay scale.

On the other end of the spectrum, please don’t think you can trick us by rolling up to the club in a Bentley. A man’s shoes and/or watch always give him away. We can tell in an instant if you’re really a baller or if you’re a $30,000 “millionaire” that rented a car for the night to try to score some chicks. Pretending to be someone you’re not will get you no love.

Don’t believe me? My Special Man Friend drives a pickup truck. (Rest assured, it’s not an Unnecessary Truck.) It is kept impeccably clean and smells lovely, much like him.

The Booth Babe is an anonymous auto show model who dishes about what really goes on behind the scenes. Read her blog at And if you treat her nicely, read her each Sunday at

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  • Phantomwolf Phantomwolf on Jul 16, 2010

    I know I am chiming in quite late, but, I drive a well kept, slight modified, well known(long story) 93 Cadillac Deville, that has done a well job of attracting divorced women to me. I am still trying to wrap my head around that.

  • David C. Holzman David C. Holzman on Jul 17, 2010

    Back when I was in my 20s, a lot of cool guys drove minivans. In those days, the only minivan was the VW microbus. My father, the head of the econ dept at a major university, drove crap cars much of his life. That just wasn't where he wanted to put his money. As a single guy, I'd have a problem with a woman who wasn't interested in cars as cars, but had a BMW or a Merc for status. I'd rather date a woman with a Corolla. On the other hand, a woman who had a BMW with a stick because she loved driving would be an entirely different matter.

  • Bd2 The hybrid powertrain in the Sportage and Tucson are the ones to get.H/K should discontinue the base NA 2.5L powertrain and just build more of the hybrid.In the future, maybe offer a 2nd, more powerful hybrid (the hybrid 2.5) which will first arrive with the next Telluride/Palisade.Kia also needs to redo the front fascia for the Sportage's refresh.
  • The Oracle I say let the clunkers stay on the roads.
  • Jpolicke Twenty-three grand for a basket case? And it has '66 wheel covers and gas cap so who knows what else isn't original?
  • Scott Can't be a real 1965 Stang as all of those are nothing but a pile of rust that MIGHT be car shaped by now.
  • 56m65711446 So, the engineers/designers that brought us the Pinto are still working at Ford!