Pennsylvania Drivers Admonished To Check For Penile Secretions

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt
pennsylvania drivers admonished to check for penile secretions

Drivers tooling around East College Avenue that runs past the Penn State campus showed symptoms of distracted driving after an encounter with an electronic road sign. It flashed the common “Stay Safe PA,” followed by a highly uncommon “Check for Smegma.”

To those not in the know, Centre Daily provided the needed trivia:“Smegma is a term for genital secretions.”

Cory Miller, executive director of the University Area Joint Authority was quick to explain that smegma “also has a meaning for highway conditions, when it first starts raining, there is that oil sheen on the surface of the road. That is a term used.”

Nevertheless, on being notified of the ambiguous warning, UAJA was trying all day to have the sign changed, but were frustrated in their efforts.

“We’re not able to get to the sign,” said University spokeswoman Marla Fanin at 5pm. The sign was enclosed on a construction site, behind a chain link fence.

Despite a sunny and precipitation-free day, drivers were all day warned of slick road conditions.

Local law enforcement could get involved if it is determined that the matter smells of foul play.

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4 of 14 comments
  • MikeInCanada MikeInCanada on Jun 05, 2010

    I don't know why these important public service announcement are not more frequently communicated.... No wait, now they will be.

  • Lorenzo Lorenzo on Jun 05, 2010

    Next to a university? ...and they'll call the police if it's a prank? Whatever happened to suspensions, kicked off the team (if applicable), or having the offender walk around campus with a toilet seat araound the neck holding a sign reading "I'm a Bad Boy"? Oh, wait. That last one is a fraternity thing. Another of the usual suspects.

  • David C. Holzman David C. Holzman on Jun 05, 2010

    It's that hot mix asphalt technology that's to blame

  • Shaker Shaker on Jun 06, 2010

    It's all fun and games until a hapless motorist gets into a head-on collision while "checking for smegma" instead of "merging right".