Hammer Time: Old Fart Heaven

by Steven Lang

May 16th, 2014 2:16 PM

Just for bowel movements and mirth (PC version), I like to visit eBay’s “No Reserve” section. Where is it? Well, there actually isn’t one, but if you type in a given car or model year and then type “No Reserve,” “NR” or “N/R,” you can actually find some very interesting deals. Clicking on Completed Items will show you the market. The many (Police Interceptors), the few (Oldsmobiles), or the one (Grand Marquis). The ones with the green Sold marks and multiple bids are the ones worth a look and, of course, the deals are all over the map. But a lot of the offerings inevitably hit right around the Average Manheim Market Value. Take for instance this 2009 Lincoln Town Car with 3400 miles.

Town Cars are still pretty popular amongst the livery trade and those older folks seeking a travel car. Not my cup of tea but nothing wrong with that. The one just mentioned sold for $26,600. The average retail value? $26,500. When I looked at 2008 Town Cars, I found only one sold on the Completed Items section with 27,000 miles. The price. $19,700 + $299 bogus fee, so around $20K altogether. On the MMR side, the number of sold vehicles for 2009 was 18. 2008? Over 600. Believe it or not Town Cars are still quite common at the sales.

From there the no reserve offerings on eBay drop off the proverbial cliff with none sold until you get to a 2000 Lincoln Town Car with a dent on the roof and 115,000 miles. Supposedly owned by an older fellow (which can always be confirmed). That sold for $3,050 and if the information in the listing is correct, you can probably take care of said dent and scratch for around $300. Once again. It appears that in terms of bang for the buck, the seven to nine year old vehicle is the way to go. Especially if it’s an older person’s car.

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86er on Apr 24, 2009
Why? Please explain what you like so much. @David Holzman: We like the car because it's really a pleasure to drive, it insulates you from the traffic outside and actually has a calming influence. Highway trips are something to look forward to, instead of dread. You may also appreciate the more intangible feelings of piloting a barge like that, it's really like an upgraded version of an old Galaxie with brakes that actually stop the vehicle, for example. As far as size goes, I know a lot of people mock this car on this site, and I imagine jumping out of your GTI or Miata into this would feel weird, but I grew up around combines and crew cab 1 tons, this doesn't faze me.

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Pig_Iron on Apr 24, 2009

@paris-dakar : Nothing better ... carry 4 six foot people in ... a big trunk. There's a burly guy on my street who keeps odd hours, always wears a crisp black suit and dark glasses, and never talks about work. He says the very same thing. =:-O

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