Hammer Time: Old Fart Heaven

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang
hammer time old fart heaven

Just for bowel movements and mirth (PC version), I like to visit eBay’s “No Reserve” section. Where is it? Well, there actually isn’t one, but if you type in a given car or model year and then type “No Reserve,” “NR” or “N/R,” you can actually find some very interesting deals. Clicking on Completed Items will show you the market. The many (Police Interceptors), the few (Oldsmobiles), or the one (Grand Marquis). The ones with the green Sold marks and multiple bids are the ones worth a look and, of course, the deals are all over the map. But a lot of the offerings inevitably hit right around the Average Manheim Market Value. Take for instance this 2009 Lincoln Town Car with 3400 miles.

Town Cars are still pretty popular amongst the livery trade and those older folks seeking a travel car. Not my cup of tea but nothing wrong with that. The one just mentioned sold for $26,600. The average retail value? $26,500. When I looked at 2008 Town Cars, I found only one sold on the Completed Items section with 27,000 miles. The price. $19,700 + $299 bogus fee, so around $20K altogether. On the MMR side, the number of sold vehicles for 2009 was 18. 2008? Over 600. Believe it or not Town Cars are still quite common at the sales.

From there the no reserve offerings on eBay drop off the proverbial cliff with none sold until you get to a 2000 Lincoln Town Car with a dent on the roof and 115,000 miles. Supposedly owned by an older fellow (which can always be confirmed). That sold for $3,050 and if the information in the listing is correct, you can probably take care of said dent and scratch for around $300. Once again. It appears that in terms of bang for the buck, the seven to nine year old vehicle is the way to go. Especially if it’s an older person’s car.

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  • 86er 86er on Apr 24, 2009
    Why? Please explain what you like so much. @David Holzman: We like the car because it's really a pleasure to drive, it insulates you from the traffic outside and actually has a calming influence. Highway trips are something to look forward to, instead of dread. You may also appreciate the more intangible feelings of piloting a barge like that, it's really like an upgraded version of an old Galaxie with brakes that actually stop the vehicle, for example. As far as size goes, I know a lot of people mock this car on this site, and I imagine jumping out of your GTI or Miata into this would feel weird, but I grew up around combines and crew cab 1 tons, this doesn't faze me.
  • Pig_Iron Pig_Iron on Apr 24, 2009

    @paris-dakar : Nothing better ... carry 4 six foot people in ... a big trunk. There's a burly guy on my street who keeps odd hours, always wears a crisp black suit and dark glasses, and never talks about work. He says the very same thing. =:-O

  • JamesGarfield What charging network does the Polestar use?
  • JamesGarfield Re: Getting away from union plantsAbout a dozen years or so ago, Caterpillar built a huge new engine plant, just down the road here in Seguin TX. Story has it, Caterpillar came to Seguin City council in advance, and told them their plans. Then they asked for no advanced publicity from Seguin, until announcement day. This new plant was gonna be a non-union replacement for a couple of union plants in IL and SC, and Cat didn't want to stir up union problems until the plan was set. They told Seguin, If you about blab this in advance, we'll walk. Well, Seguin kept quiet as instructed, and the plan went through, with all the usual expected tax abatements given.Plant construction began, but the Caterpillar name was conspicuously absent from anywhere on the site. Instead, the plant was described as being a collective of various contractors and suppliers for Caterpillar. Which in fact, it was. Then comes the day, with the big new plant fully operationa!, that Caterpillar comes in and announces, Hey, Yeah it's our plant, and the Caterpillar name boldly goes up on the front. All you contractor folks, welcome aboard, you're now Caterpillar employees. Then, Cat turns and announces they are closing those two union plants immediately, and will be transporting all the heavy manufacturing equipment to Seguin. None of the union workers, just the equipment. And today, the Caterpillar plant sits out there, humming away happily, making engines for the industry and good paying jobs for us. I'd call that a winner.
  • Stuki Moi What Subaru taketh away in costs, dealers will no doubt add right back in adjustments.... Fat chance Subaru will offer a sufficient supply of them.
  • Dartdude Lorenzo, the reason for low manual transmission here is that most dealers won't stock them. I wanted a 2012 Kia Koup with manual tranny it was available, but no dealers ordered any from the factory hence there was none available. Go on any car manufacture's web site and price and build and build your model and you would be lucky if the model existed and was available.
  • The Oracle Good news is that based on the model years many of these have already been junked or experienced terminal engine failure.