Hammer Time: A Time to Kill
Orlando is the unpopular car capital of the world. You name the dying models and brands. The City the Mouse Built has them in abundance. As I was counting the Mitsubishis and Chryslers on my way to a Disney Cruise, my mind began to wander and wonder. What if we avoided all these wasted resources? Surely there must be a few kindly politicians out there who can appreciate the more fiscally conservative amongst us. Somebody? Anybody? Bueller?
Fat chance. When I was through with my fifteen second daydream, the reality of my drive took over. Cheap plastic everywhere. The 2004 Grand Caravan seemed like a collection of plastic molds that had haphazardly fell into place with the stingiest numbers of screws. I literally measured the depth of my seat fabric with my fingernail and the car literally rattled and jingled with every bump on the road. Sure it was cheap; Kia-cheap in fact. But the cost of living with that cheapness was starting to wear on my soul that day.
So that’s one model in the “waste” category. How about the brand? Maybe. Dodge is synonymous with “affordable” or “cheap” in most of the automotive world. It may be the perfect platform for the Chinese . . . at the right price of course.
But how about companies like Mitsubishi, Suzuki, and Volvo? Other than a few interesting specialty models there really isn’t much there there. Every GM brand, with the possible exceptions of Chevrolet and Cadillac, is convoluted and cannibalistic. So is Mercury, flirtatious middle-aged woman be damned. Lincoln’s core strengths and brand image are from a bygone era. They need to go, too. Who else?