Parking Garage Security: Walk Purposefully and Carry a Loaded Nine Mil

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

OK, the 9mm bit is me. But the purposeful walk advice comes from Universal Protection Services, a security company whose intergalactic remit includes providing the parking industry with "innovative fire/life safety programs and electronic security solutions." Company executive vice president and COO Steve Jones has some decidedly low-tech solutions for people who've seen all those spooky TV shows and movies where bad things happen in echoey parking garages. Mr. Jones says you shouldn't linger around your car (waiting for someone to cue the knife-wielding/chloroform-clutching psycho), keep your doors locked and windows up until Elvis (and you) have left the building and "if possible, park next to entrances or in open and well-lit areas." Huh. We were kind of hoping for stuff like never stop and say "Hello? Is anyone there?" and "fight for your life; if they get you in the car, you're dead meat."

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • Zerofoo Zerofoo on Aug 29, 2007

    .50 Desert Eagle - when it absolutely, positively has to be dead. Sure, it is big and heavy and loud...if you want to strike fear into someone...it's the only way. Or....don't go into parking garages alone. -ted

  • Blunozer Blunozer on Aug 29, 2007

    Wow... Americans and their paranoia induced love of guns... Here in Nova Scotia we have a greater risk of being killed by driving into a moose than being kidnapped in our cars. That being said, may I suggest carrying a ninja sword? Nobody would be crazy enough to attack someone crazy enough to be carrying a ninja sword. Bad guy #1: How about that guy? Bad guy #2: Are you crazy? He's got a ninja sword! Bad guy #1: But we got guns! Bad guy #2: If he's carrying a ninja sword in plain sight, what do you think he's got under his jacket? P.S. This post is not intended as Anti-American, nor gun hating, nor pro-Micheal Moore. Please don't read it as such.

  • Dean Dean on Aug 30, 2007

    Blunozer, even in Vancouver the worst that'll happen is you'll come back to your car to find the window broken and your ashtray looted for the 35 cents you had in it. Where the hell do all you people live that you even worry about this? Compton?

  • VLAD VLAD on Aug 30, 2007

    You guys better stick to video games and park on Rodeo drive. :-) Google all the FBI studies on the subject.

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