Is This Dodge Caravan Pickup the Worst Custom Ever Built?

Matt Posky
by Matt Posky
is this dodge caravan pickup the worst custom ever built

There aren’t too many vehicles that can really heat up the bile in your stomach like a botched custom. The Plymouth Prowler isn’t for everyone and the Mustang II is an acquired taste, but neither elicit the negative response of a customized El Camino donk riding on 27-inch wheels with a Dora the Explorer paint job.

However, donk culture includes a community of enthusiasts who love their vehicles dearly. Some people see a malaise-era classic cruising on wagon wheels and representing their favorite candy, soft drink, or television show and think it’s glorious. Loads of donks and hi-risers are tastefully executed each year. You can make a case for almost any custom, no matter how heinous it is to your own sensibilities.

There are, of course, exceptions, and the Caravan Pickup custom abomination seen above is assuredly one of those. I was getting coffee when news of this abomination reached me. My phone vibrated to indicate I had received a text message from a friend who shares a mutual interest in cars. “Dude, you’ve got to see this thing,” it read. “But I hope you’re sitting down.”

Honestly, I should have laid down on the floor with a wallet in my mouth to stop myself from biting off my own tongue. The link I was sent took me to a Facebook Marketplace posting for Providence, Rhode Island — a city I used to find charming. In the post, one James Pina indicates he is selling a “One Of A Kind You Will Never See Another One Like This Runs And Drives Exellent Must See To Appreciate” vehicle.

(Classic Intrepid Rims… What A Vehicle! – Ed.)

The heading describes it as a 2000 Dodge Caravan Pickup, a model that was never built. As I clicked through the photos, auditory hallucinations began populating my mind — screeching tires, a crash, distant screams. Why had my friend done this to me? He knew my introduction to driving came via the Caravan and, as a result, I have a deep and irrational affinity for the family hauler.

As I began trying to make sense of why someone would convert a minivan into a pickup, things only got worse. Presumably, the customizations done to the minivan were aimed at making it more utilitarian. But the Dodge Caravan is already the most versatile vehicle on the planet. Keeping the seats in, you can transport up to seven passengers. With the seats removed, it becomes a perfectly serviceable hauler for furniture, mulch, or whatever else you can fit through the back hatch.

I have to assume this was done purely for aesthetic reasons, as any structural integrity this thing had before the modifications are completely gone now. Were it to be rear ended, it would absolutely fold into itself like an accordion. But the type of person who could look at the egg-shaped cab and think it an improvement is not someone I’d ever want to meet.

“Deffinitly A Head Turner,” is how Pina describes the physical manifestation of my worst nightmares, and I have to agree. If I saw this tragic creature on the street, my head would turn away so hard and fast, there’d be a real chance of it spinning off my body entirely.

While it remains mildly impressive that someone managed to repurpose the tailgate as the back portion of the cab, the fact that they had the idea in the first place is concerning. What else are they capable of? When I asked Pina if he was the one who had done the modifications, his response was an incredibly swift “No.”

He had no idea who built the car and didn’t seem particularly interested in answering my questions. Frankly, maybe it’s better not to know. I was already on an incredibly dark path.

If you’re interested in what is almost definitely a cursed vehicle, the Caravan Pickup is listed for $1000 OBO. My “friend” attempted to convince me to go and see it for laughs over the weekend, but I didn’t see anything funny about the quest. The only way I would ever make that trip is if I bought the vehicle for the explicit purpose of ensuring it was destroyed.

[Images: Facebook]

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2 of 51 comments
  • Carroll Prescott Carroll Prescott on Jul 05, 2018

    Nice Honduh Ridglinette but without the covered catbox in the bed.

  • WildcatMatt WildcatMatt on Jul 18, 2018

    I think the most objectionable part of it is the way the shape and position of the rear window fights with the shape of the passenger window. It doesn't line up at the bottom and that kills it. That they didn't shave the handles and completely fill the rear cut for the sliding doors gives it a distinct MC Escher vibe. This cries out for Vellum Venom, dammit!

  • 28-Cars-Later I'm actually surprised at this and not sure what to make of it. In recent memory Senator Biden has completely ignored an ecological disaster in Ohio, and then ignored a tragic fire in Hawaii until his handlers were goaded in sending him and his visit turned into it's own disaster, but we skipped nap time for this sh!t show? Seriously? We really are through the looking glass now, "votes" no longer matter (Hillary almost won being the worst presidential candidate since 1984 before he claimed the crown) and outside of Corvette nostalgia Joe doesn't care let alone know what day it happens to be. Could they really be afraid of Trump, who AFAIK has planned no appearance or run his mouth on this issue? Just doesn't make sense, granted this is Clown World so maybe its my fault for trying to find sense in a senseless act.
  • Tassos If you only changed your series to the CORRECT "Possibly Collectible, NOT Daily Driver, NOT Used car of the day", it would sound much more accurate AND TRUTHFUL.Now who would collect THIS heap of trash for whatever misguided reason, nostalgia for a much worse automotive era or whatever, is another question.
  • ToolGuy Price dropped $500 overnight. (Wait 10 more days and you might get it for free?)
  • Slavuta Must be all planned. Increase price of cars, urbanize, 15 minutes cities. Be poor, eat bugs
  • Sid SB Not seen a Core without the performance pack yet. Prefer the more understated look of the Core vs the Circuit, but both are great fun to drive.