Gone in Thirty Seconds: Super Bowl LVIII Auto Commercial Pre-Game Roundup

Chris Tonn
by Chris Tonn


Football and marketing - does it get any better? In this era of fragmented streaming services, there are precious few moments of what was once dubbed Must See Tee Vee where one be assured hundreds of million eyeballs will be glued to the same message simultaneously. We likely will never have another shared broadcast moment like the finale of M*A*S*H, so The Super Bowl is it.



It’s been reported that a thirty-second spot during The Big Game is now going for seven million dollars – insert GIF of Austin Powers sniffing his pinky here – so the roster of automakers ponying up for airtime is a bit thin. As always, I’ll be live-blogging during the game on Sunday night, sharing YouTube links of each individual spot roughly as it airs. It’s always possible someone will pop in a last-minute ad buy, too, but this morning let’s take a look at what the automakers have brought forth in the way of teasers and pre-released spots, in alphabetical order.

BMW

BMW has partnered with this year’s Super Bowl halftime performer, Usher, as well as acclaimed actor and unusual-voice-haver Christopher Walken for their spot surrounding their new i5 EV sedan. The teaser they put out a week ago is pretty good, too.


Kawasaki

Ok, no, it’s not automotive, but it’s awful close. And while side-by-sides like the Kawasaki Ridge shown in this ad are technically not street legal, wander into any rural area and you’ll find locals running errands in these fun machines. Kawasaki leans into a hairstyle most associated with the Eighties.

Kia

Kia pulls at the heartstrings in their Perfect 10 spot, with a young kid landing what I think is a double Salchow first in an arena and next with lighting and music provided by the vehicle-to-load capability of the new EV9.

Subaru

Subaru isn’t showing an ad on CBS this year, but they will have a Spanish-language spot on the Univision broadcast. I’ve linked both the Spanish language and slightly shorter English language videos - since Subaru’s dogs don’t speak Spanish, the sentiment translates seamlessly. But the adult dogs in the front row aren’t wearing seatbelts, so I don’t know whether that negates Subaru's usual safety messaging.


Toyota

Toyota had originally announced that they were not planning on advertising during The Super Bowl, but when an opening in airtime became available, they jumped. Here, they pay homage with some strained minced oaths to the overlooked interior feature universally known as The Oh $#** Handle in their new Tacoma.

Volkswagen

VW is celebrating their 75th year of sales in America this year, and has leaned on that heritage during their transition toward an electrified future. The classic car fanatic within me is overjoyed to see all of the shiny vintage metal, and while Neil Diamond isn’t my favorite artist of the Seventies or Eighties, “I Am…I Said” is a pretty damned good tune. There are some fun callbacks to other VW Super Bowl commercials, too. Take special note of the disclaimer across the bottom of the screen when the Mk.2 Golf is rallying through the dirt.


Well, that's all we have for this morning. Don't forget to tune your dial to WTTAC on Sunday evening.

[Images/Video provided by the manufacturers. Lead image: Volkswagen]

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Chris Tonn
Chris Tonn

Some enthusiasts say they were born with gasoline in their veins. Chris Tonn, on the other hand, had rust flakes in his eyes nearly since birth. Living in salty Ohio and being hopelessly addicted to vintage British and Japanese steel will do that to you. His work has appeared in eBay Motors, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars, Reader's Digest, AutoGuide, Family Handyman, and Jalopnik. He is a member of the Midwest Automotive Media Association, and he's currently looking for the safety glasses he just set down somewhere.

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  • CM Korecko Cadillacs traditionally have been opulent, brash and leaders in the field; the "Standard of the World".That said, here's how to fix the brand:[list=1][*]Forget German luxury cars ever existed.[/*][*]Get rid of the astromech droid names and bring back Seville, Deville, Eldorado, Fleetwood and Brougham.[/*][*]End the electric crap altogether and make huge, gas guzzling land yachts for the significant portion of the population that would fight for a chance to buy one.[/*][*]Stop making sports cars and make true luxury cars for those of us who don't give a damn about the environment and are willing to swim upstream to get what we really want.[/*][*]Stop messing around with technology and make well-made and luxurious interiors.[/*][*]Watch sales skyrocket as a truly different product distinguishes itself to the delight of the target market and the damnation of the Sierra Club. Hell, there is no such thing as bad publicity and the "bad guy" image would actually have a lot of appeal.[/*][/list=1]
  • FreedMike Not surprisingly, I have some ideas. What Cadillac needs, I think, is a statement. They don’t really have an identity. They’re trying a statement car with the Celestiq, and while that’s the right idea, it has the wrong styling and a really wrong price tag. So, here’s a first step: instead of a sedan, do a huge, fast, capable and ridiculously smooth and quiet electric touring coupe. If you want an example of what I’m thinking of, check out the magnificent Rolls-Royce Spectre. But this Cadillac coupe would be uniquely American, it’d be named “Eldorado,” and it’d be a lot cheaper than the $450,000 Spectre – call it a buck twenty-five, with a range of bespoke options for prospective buyers that would make each one somewhat unique. Make it 220 inches long, on the same platform as the Celestiq, give it retro ‘60s styling (or you could do a ‘50s or ‘70s throwback, I suppose), and at least 700 horsepower, standard. Why electric? It’s the ultimate throwback to ‘60s powertrains: effortlessly fast, smooth, and quiet, but with a ton more horsepower. It’s the perfect drivetrain for a dignified touring coupe. In fact, I’d skip any mention of environmental responsibility in this car’s marketing – sell it on how it drives, period.  How many would they sell? Not many. But the point of the exercise is to do something that will turn heads and show people what this brand can do.  Second step: give the lineup a mix of electric and gas models, and make Cadillac gas engines bespoke to the brand. If they need to use generic GM engine designs, fine – take those engines and massage them thoroughly into something special to Cadillac, with specific tuning and output. No Cadillac should leave the factory with an engine straight out of a Malibu or a four-banger Silverado. Third step: a complete line-wide interior redo. Stop the cheapness that’s all over the current sedans and crossovers. Just stop it. Use the Lyriq as a blueprint – it’s a big improvement over the current crop and a good first step. I’d also say Cadillac has a good blend of screen-controlled and switch-controlled user interfaces; don’t give into the haptic-touch and wall-to-wall screen thing. (On the subject of Caddy interiors – as much as I bag on the Celestiq, check out the interior on that thing. Wow.)Fourth step: Blackwing All The Things – some gas, others electric. And keep the electric/gas mix so buyers have a choice.Fifth step: be patient. That’s not easy, but if they’re doing a brand reset, it’ll take time. 
  • NJRide So if GM was serious about selling this why no updates for so long? Or make something truly unique instead of something that looked like a downmarket Altima?
  • Kmars2009 I rented one last fall while visiting Ohio. Not a bad car...but not a great car either. I think it needs a new version. But CUVs are King... unfortunately!
  • Ajla Remember when Cadillac introduced an entirely new V8 and proceeded to install it in only 800 cars before cancelling everything?
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