By on December 23, 2015

2015 Honda Civic Concept

Now it can be told: Perhaps the most cringe-worthy moment of my life was my own “Affluenza” episode, otherwise known as “The Time I Wrote A Poem About Not Getting A BMW 2002 For Christmas.”

I was eighteen years old and busy failing to fulfill my potential at university. I was already on my second car, the infamous Red Marquis, having unceremoniously crashed my 200SX on my first unsupervised day as a temporary-license holder. During one of our brief telephone conversations that fall, my father asked me some questions about “old BMWs,” with particular focus on the 2002. My fevered imagination had grasped that straw and run with it until I was honestly surprised to get two sweaters and a couple of shirts on the blessed morning of the 25th.

I went back to school early so I could mope in private and write a poem about it, the worst couplets of which I’ve retrieved from memory for your amusement:

(Read More…)

Recent Comments

  • FAHRVERGNUGEN: Maybe like Jeep they misspelled the name and it was for lawyers only, the TRIAL SPORT package. Useful...
  • FAHRVERGNUGEN: Six years earlier my ’05 LGT was built with them.
  • indi500fan: I’m reading stories where a veteran Tesla with a supposed 20 grand wholesale value needs a 20 grand...
  • Syke: We don’t have a clue as to what the upcoming “good old days” are, and whatever guesses...
  • Socrates77: Jalop1991, that’s hilarious

New Car Research

Get a Free Dealer Quote

Who We Are

  • Adam Tonge
  • Bozi Tatarevic
  • Corey Lewis
  • Mark Baruth
  • Ronnie Schreiber