#branding

In the annals of poorly-chosen songs, this one is right up there with the State of New Jersey’s almost-decision to make Springsteen’s “Born To Run” the state song. Yes, Maserati, you can do anything, you can be anyone… and you’re choosing to be the brand that pimps upgraded Grand Cherokees by invoking the ghost of Fangio over crappy power-pop. Do you really want to be reminding viewers that this is a conscious choice, picked from an infinite range of options? Because that kind of willful douchbaggery makes you, Maserati, look like you’re a half-step from becoming the official luxury brand of Jersey Shore.

Under Penske management, the Smart minicar brand sold fewer than 6,000 vehicles last year, capping a sales decline that led Mercedes to take back management duties for the brand. And, according to the new folks in charge of Smart, there’s only one real problem with the brand: awareness. Or, more precisely, lack thereof. We’ve heard this song before from Smart’s new GM, but now Ernst Lieb, boss of Mercedes U.S.A., is picking up the tune, telling Automotive News [sub] that

With the marketing activities that we’re going to have, we’ll see some positive momentum. The biggest problem the car has right now: Nobody knows it.

Which, of course, is nonsense. Nonsense that allows you to appear aware of the sales problem without acknowledging a single problem with the product itself, but nonsense none the less. And Smart’s not the only micro-car brand that’s reaching for it either, as Fiat-Chrysler marketing boss Olivier Francois has the exact same excuse for Fiat’s weak start, telling AdAge

I don’t think we have a car problem; people love the car. I think we have an awareness problem.

Are Americans incapable of seeing, recognizing or being aware of anything that weighs less than 3,000 lbs? Or is it possible that there are a few things wrong with the Smart and 500?

Last fall, the first tests of the new Chevy Caprice PPV, Dodge Charger Pursuit and Ford Taurus Interceptor generated quite a bit of interest here at TTAC and beyond, as three all-new contestants battled to replace the outgoing Crown Victoria as America’s cop car. At the time, the Caprice seemed like the clear performance favorite, but as Sajeev Mehta has pointed out, there’s more to the cop-car equation than pure speed. Although good luck trying to tell the Detroit Three that, as all three are cherry-picking performance stats in the wake of the latest round of Michigan State Police testing.

As the Saab/Spyker/Swedish Automobile mess falls deeper into chaos and hopelessness, Saab’s erstwhile knight-in-shining-armour, Vladimir Antonov has been slowly backing away from the ugly scene. Indeed, his firm CPP Holdings was supposed to buy Swedish Automobile’s Spyker Supercar division, but that deal has been on hold while Swedish Automobile concentrates on keeping Saab alive. And though the Birmingham Post reports that CPP still plans on buying Spyker eventually, it’s clear that having washed his hands of the Saab situation, Antonov is looking elsewhere in order to secure a Victor Muller-free future. But could Britain really offer a loaded young Russian an appealing sportscar brand to sink his hard-earned (or not, whatever) cash into? Anyone know what TVR is up to? Actually, it seems Antonov has gone one better than TVR, and has secured the right to make an “all-new” Jensen Interceptor from the ex-Jaguar plant at Browns Lane, Coventry. Does it get any more wealthy-Russian-trying-to-make-his-mark-on-the-British-sportscar-scene than that? According to Autocar, the new Interceptor will feature aluminum chassis and bodywork, with an attendant “ultra-exclusive” pricetag, and will be shown sometime next year ahead of a 2014 rollout. Because, oligarch.

The constant frustration of almost everyone in the automotive media, is getting scooped by the fanboys. And yet it inevitably, it keeps happening. While the usual German ‘ring-watching suspects were enjoying their Messe, ATSforum.com grabbed an apparent web exclusive video of the Cadillac ATS at the Nürburgring… three days ago.

Despite the endless sturm und drang surrounding ‘ring records, I think videos like this are what makes the ‘ring “matter”: they show not-yet-for-sale cars being pushed on challenging, degraded road. As Jack points out though, the driver makes a huge difference in ‘ring times, and therefore, the performance you’re seeing in this video. Your ‘ring mileage may vary. Still, it’s worth remembering that this is a Cadillac on the Nürburgring. I’m not making apologies, it’s just… typing that still feels strange (yes, even after the CTS-V). Anyway, there’s some fairly comparable 2012 BMW 3er footage after the jump, so… y’know…

You want the truth? The Alfa Romeo brand sounds like it’s pretty much in chaos at this point. Since Fiat first got a toehold on the North American continent, we’ve heard so many variations of the Alfa-Romeo invasion plans, each one succeeded by a new and different set of plans, that I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Back in 2010, the brand was talking about a 2012 launch and 85k annual units in the US by 2014, with the initial launch lead by the Giulia midsized sedan. Then, earlier this year, the Giulia was delayed until “mid-2013” as CEO Sergio Marchionne “was not pleased with proposals he has seen from Alfa’s creative team in Turin.” Then, in June we got a “product plan” PowerPoint slide that was supposed to guide the new new Alfa invasion plan, which had the bulk of new products arriving in the US in 2013. Then, in July we heard that the Giulia was bumped to “the end of 2013 at the earliest” and the plans were changing again. Now, Alfa CEO Harald Wester tells Automotive News [sub] that there won’t be a single Alfa in the US until 2013, and that the bulk won’t arrive until 2014. Oh, and the rear-drive flagship that Alfa denied earlier this year is back on for “after 2014.”

And the worst part of this latest change in plans? They forgot to tell the dealers…

Paul Fussell’s brilliant book Class describes a BMW as a car for an upper-middle class professional, while a Mercedes-Benz is too ostentatious. The true upper-class vehicle is a beige Dodge or Ford, generally filthy and driven at 10 mph under the speed limit.

Fussell’s book was first published in 1983, and I’ll give one of my favorite authors the benefit of the doubt – not even such an astute and visionary social critic could anticipate the massive explosion of (credit fueled) affluence that has swept our society. Today, a Mercedes-Benz can be leased for the same cost as a Honda Accord, a BMW is what you buy for your daughter, and a Dodge isn’t even fit for your maid to drive. Which brings us to the Maserati Kubang.

The national character of auto brands is a tricky thing. For decades, Volvo wore its Swedishness on its sleeve, emphasizing the values that made Ikea, Abba and Swedish porn so popular in the US… even when it was an outpost of the Ford empire. And then the unthinkable happened: Chinese up-and-comer Li Shufu bought the brand and rolled it into his Geely empire. In the world of national-character-branding, being bought by a Chinese firm is something like hiring Casey Anthony as a brand ambassador, or using a mascot called “Mr Melamine Milk” (another nightmare scenario can be found here). So, how does a brand like Volvo, that was built on Swedishness, get past the “China Factor”? By doubling down on Swedishness? How about by building cars in the US?

It happens to all foreign joint venture partners: They are invited to have tea and a chat with representatives of China’s National Development and Reform Commission (NDRC). After the pleasantries are exchanged, the weather has been discussed, and statements of mutual admiration have been made, someone from the NDRC side will say: “Don’t you want to start a Chinese brand? We would really appreciate it.” Who can say no to the wishes of the Chinese government?

The latest to say “Ja” is BMW. BMW will build a second, truly “Chinese” brand for China. “We are discussing this with the NDRC, and we will find a solution,” said BMW CEO Friedrich Eichiner to Germany’s FAZ. BMW’s futuristic carbon fiber i cars won’t be BMWs in China.

I was listening to a local radio station and as will happen in a regular Detroit newscast, they mentioned something newsworthy going on in the domestic auto industry. In this case they said that Ford would be spending $1 billion on 7 new products to revamp the Lincoln brand. Well that wasn’t really news so I wondered what really was going on and it turns out that the radio station’s news team grabbed a headline from an Alisa Priddle article at the Detroit News. Though the headline was nothing new, Priddle has interviewed Ford designers and product managers and has managed to give us a better idea of what the Lincoln brand will mean once Lincoln’s new team of 120 or so engineers, designers and marketing experts gets done reinventing the marque.

If Ferrari is known for one thing, it’s super-fast, good-looking cars. But if Ferrari is known for two things, that second thing would be its uncanny ability to separate the wealthy from their hard-earned (or not) cash. And apparently the brand is so good at extracting revenue from its super-wealthy clientele that it doesn’t mind a little competition. The Wall Street Journal reports that, when asked by the Italian paper Republica how governments should overcome their budget crises, Ferrari Chairman Luca DeMontezemolo replied

You have to begin by asking it of those who have most, because it is scandalous that it should be asked of the middle class

Class warfare, or just the natural perspective of a guy who regularly charges the super-rich $2,300 for Alcantara trunk liner and $1,800 for a spare wheel? We report, you decide…

First of all, let’s not fool ourselves: this is quite the hypothetical question. For one thing, Fiat is unlikely to federalize the Doblo cargo van that this “Work Up” is based upon until a subsequent generation comes out. In the meantime, the only Fiat Professional vehicle the US market will be getting anytime soon (thanks to CKD production at Warren Truck, according to Allpar) is the Ducato van, which competes fairly directly with Daimler’s Sprinter. But, hypothetically, could this Doblo “Work Up” find a market in the US? Let’s look at what it offers…