#PoliceCruiser

One of the late Ford Crown Victoria’s best attributes was its unique turn signal/parking lamps, which, when viewed in a rear-view mirror, alerted savvy drivers to the possibility that there could be a police officer on their tail. Or a retiree. Either way, best to slow down, pardner.

Today, drivers don’t have that luxury of instant nighttime recognition, and police forces and suppliers are increasingly making it harder to distinguish a lurking cop car during the day. Well, Ford has now brought the stealthiness to another level.

They can cuff me anytime.

Hot girls in short skirts are the first things that leap into my mind whenever anyone says anything about the Japanese. The internet has not helped to change that, in fact it may have made things worse. If you add the word “Japanese” to any noun that describes a group of people and enter it into your favorite search engine, pictures of hot young girls will always appear near the top of the results. Look for Japanese tour guides, Japanese students, Japanese beach volleyball players or Japanese anything and you will see I am right. Try it, I’ll wait.

Now that you’re back, did you look for Japanese Police? I did, and despite my prior confession I was surprised at what I found.

Panther lovers will be sad to hear that this, the last of the black-and-white Crown Vic Interceptors, has gone down the line according to the Ford St Thomas Assembly Plant’s Facebook page. The last Panther ( reportedly a Town Car) is scheduled to be built on Monday, and the plant’s “about 1,500” workers will be laid off on the 12th of September. If you know someone who loves the Panther chassis, please be sensitive to their needs in this difficult time. Remind them that there’s always the used market, and that someday their beloved brutes will tear ass across a post-apocalyptic landscape, and be known as “ the last of the V8 Interceptors.” This is going to be OK…

Holden may be rightly proud of its competition-creaming new Caprice Police Pursuit Vehicle, but Phoenix’s Finest just have one question: how often do you have to change those tires? And, as TTAC’s commentariat pointed out during the Michigan State Police’s trials, maintenance costs are nearly as important for police fleet buyers as pure performance. So, though the Caprice might out-hustle and out-interior-size its police-duty competition, the fact that only a limited number of civilian Zeta-sedans will make it to American roads means parts and maintenance won’t be as cheap or easy as the old Panthers. And because it hustles so nicely, those tires won’t be the only thing that will inevitably wear out. Still, it’s probably safe to assume that at least a few police departments will be seduced by the Caprice… so you’d better start burning that grille into your memory banks.

As the avid reader of our cop car chronology and our on-going coverage of crime-buster conveyances knows, that market of 75,000 units a year in the U.S.A. alone is in a bit of a turmoil. The Crown Vic, holder of approximately 70 percent of the fuzz market, is about to be retired. Ford, GM, and Chrysler want to get a bite out of that crime-driven market. Not to forget a little known company, curiously and politically incorrectly named “Carbon Motors.” Since our own Sajeev Mehta directed our attention towards Carbon, it got a little quiet around the formerly Atlanta, now Connersville, Ind. based upstart that wants to build dedicated police-mobiles. Until today.

Finding Andy Griffith’s cop car on the streets of Eugene wasn’t exactly high on my predictability scale. But I’ve finally thrown that away, and nothing surprises me anymore. As far as I know, Deputy Barney Fife grew a ponytail, headed to Eugene and is using his old Mayberry cruiser in a ruse to keep the cops away from his grow operation. But there it sits, and it being Cop Car Friday, it’s now yours to ponder its existence on a side street off 1st Ave. But since its light isn’t flashing and might not hold your attention sufficiently, let’s also do a mini-history of the cop car.