#PaintOptions

In each and every one of us lurks a number of hidden longings. Yours truly, as a child and even later, used to yearn to one day work at the National Hurricane Center in Coral Gables, Florida.

That clearly didn’t pan out. They probably demand a degree in science-y things, the jerks. Oh well.

Other yearnings aren’t quite so specific, and I think one thing we all share as a diverse population of individuals is the desire for more choice. To express ourselves in one of the dwindling ways that’s still socially acceptable. I’m talking, of course, about color. Paint color.

Tesla’s Elon Musk announced Tuesday that the automaker will limit its paint options to simplify production and, hopefully, improve volume. “Moving [two] of [seven] Tesla colors off menu on Wednesday to simplify manufacturing,” said the CEO via social media. “Obsidian Black and Metallic Silver will still be available as special request, but at higher price.”

The announcement comes after a busy press week for Tesla. Musk lost his chief accounting officer after a comically brief tenure and was lambasted for smoking marijuana on Joe Rogan’s podcast. However, the real crime was how much of it Elon wasted by puffing on the monster wrap in an attempt to appease the host, without ever inhaling any smoke. That’s no way to get high.