Highway Star Rising, Act 2: Roadblock in the Bluegrass

Over a year has passed since my quest to regain my license began. A lot has happened since then.

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Why Can't You Smile At The DMV? How Your Photo Is Used Without Your Knowledge

The news that Ohio has joined a majority of other states in silently using facial recognition to make drivers “suspects” without their knowledge has been in the news for the past day or so. My first impulse was to write an incendiary tract where I compared my current home state to Soviet Russia in a manner that would be favorable to Soviet Russia. In the interest of balance, however, I reached out to someone with a deeper personal knowledge on the issue to provide a more dispassionate viewpoint. We’ve honored the writer’s request, and made this an anonymous contribution —- JB

The dreaded/joyful day has arrived when your teenaged son or daughter has passed the requisite tests, and it is time to smile for the camera and proudly receive that plastic card that legally empowers him or her to drive the mean streets of your neighborhood. You’ve already warned the neighbors, and they have dutifully moved everything mobile away from the curb. The mailboxes may suffer, but what can be done? Your excited child lines up exactly where he is told (you’re shocked to see that yes, he can still respond to simple instructions), in front of the appropriately colored cloth hanging on the wall, and flashes the happiest (only?) smile you’ve seen in years, proudly showing off the thousands of dollars you spent on orthodontia. The irritated DMV worker snaps, “YOU CAN’T SMILE!!!!”* Your child’s face turns to mild annoyance, and SNAP, the somewhat puzzled look is captured for what is probably “all time” in this day and age of the “cloud”. Why are the evil DMV people raining on your kid’s parade, making driver’s license photos even more hideous than seems necessary? It’s all in the name of facial recognition.

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  • 2ACL Going left field. A definite for me is the MG ZT260 5MT, followed closely by a BA or BF FV6 Typhoon. I'm also still intrigued by the third-generation Renault Laguna V6 DCI coupe and the second-generation Citroen C5 V6 HDI despite their respective brand baggage. . .
  • SCE to AUX The ad seems honest enough, but that car is heading toward scrap value. It's worth $1500, and then you'll spend another $3000 to get it back in semi-decent shape. And then something else will fail on it. In 3 years this will be a Junkyard Find.
  • ScarecrowRepair Around about the time Ford had the slogan "Quality is Job Number 1", the computer company I worked at decided they needed a new slogan (10 years after a merger) and ask for employee ideas. We suggested "Quality is Job Number Zero" and they didn't appreciate it. Here, Honda, a lightly tested completely unused slogan for your new line, free(!) of charge(!).
  • Oberkanone Never again VW. Never. Unreliable, expensive parts, expensive maintenance. Porsche is the only German worth owning.
  • Varezhka Why is that man's head touching the ceiling of a car that's about "space"?