Dimmick, Chuck P.
born December 29, 1958 in Riverside, CA passed away suddenly on April 18, 2009 while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. Chuck was the loving husband of Kristen and devoted father of Dillon. Chuck was the Director of Marketing for the Lund Cadillac Group. We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2’s. A mass celebrating Chuck’s life will be held at 11:00 AM on Friday, April 24th at St. Patrick’s Church – 10815 N. 84th St. Scottsdale, AZ. Arrangements handled by Hansen Desert Hill Mortuary 480-991-5800. In Lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Dillon Dimmick Donation Fund at any Bank of America.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot indeed. How could Toyota Prius, The Next Generation, not offer direct access to Apple’s technophile (technophobe?) gizmo? No USB paradise by the dashboard lights? True story, brought to you by PriusChat (motto: “Press our buttons”). “The USB integration won’t be available out of the factory until September, and it will only come with the Navigation option package that is available in the Prius III, IV, and V. Customers who buy their Navigation-equipped Prius before September will be able to have the USB kit installed at the dealer, but at their own expense. There are no specifics right now, but it looks like in September when the USB connectivity is added to the Navigation package, the price of the Navigation package will be going up. It hasn’t been established yet whether that price increase would be the same as the price a dealer will charge to install it, or if the dealer-installed USB will be more expensive.” It doesn’t take much Insight, or a Honda Odyssey without iPhone integration, to realize that this is a major marketing misstep by the ToMoCo. Did you know that Microsoft’s Zune can operate through your vehicle’s FM radio? Just sayin’.

One of our commentators recently asked why the Lincoln Town Car got so much love. It’s an ancient body-on-frame machine that floats like a hippo and stings like a slug. I’m not sure this video answers that question, but I bet some of our Best and Brightest can.

In his first piece for TTAC, our former celeb contributor Brock Yates noted that “until the underlying economics of private transportation changes . . . economies will be saddled with the private automobile, whether they like it or not.” Here in Hanoi, that truism holds up . . . only you’d need to replace “private automobile” with “ Honda Wave.” Though four-wheeled transportation is clearly picking up pace here (more to come on the quirk and diversity of said transport to come), the Vietnamese could no more imagine Hanoi without a crush of sub-200cc scoots than an American could imagine commuting on a camel. What’s a developing (or overdeveloped, for that matter) economy to do?

Seriously, who can tell anymore? Is there a sad robot somewhere that is programmed to lavish praise on used Sebrings? Surely, in this economy, Tacoma Dodge could find a human being desperate enough for cash to talk up a nice silver ’bring for the camera. Then again, even the robot sounds like it deals with a lot of professional self-loathing. Moving on, GMAC doesn’t really want to spend $5B of its $6B bailout on “ subprime auto lending,” does it? That’s got to be a joke, right? And is Carl Levin for real when he tells the DetN that the mere discussion of Chapter 11 for Chrysler and GM is “self-defeating”? Or is the Senator from Michigan in posession of a sharper sense of humor than he is typically given credit for? Now I’m seeing that Automotive News [sub] is running a headline that reads “Wagoner Gets Pension, But That Is All.” Because he somehow deserved more than $20 million? What a bunch of kidders. Yikes! What’s gotten into people? Did the CAW just really tell GM to go NSFW itself? Is Obama’s new Director of Recovery for Auto Communities and Workers’ actually comfortable with openly telling Michigan that he will be a devoted stimulus wetnurse to that great state? Humor just doesn’t need this kind of competition from reality.

GM Total Confidence will turn GM’s sales around! Hopefully we’ll never use it because our residuals are improving! Corvettes are great but we have to focus on fuel efficient vehicles! Yes Virginia, there is a Buick-Pontiac-GMC strategy! These are just a few of the ripping one-liners that make this April Fools interview with GM’s Mark LaNeve the funniest video on the internet. Newly-minted C&D editor Eddie Alterman plays a terrific straight man to LaNeve’s Jack Nicholson-meets-Baghdad Bob persona, asking those “just serious enough” questions with hilariously believable faux-interest. Great protection on the back end? Did someone just say bankruptcy? No? Good. Carry on, then.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart M - Th 11p / 10c Carmageddon '09 - Lemon Aidcomedycentral.com

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More than a few members of TTAC’s Best and Brightest have joined the Chrysler Listens customer advisory board. We’re starting to get some of these comms back, and they’re about as revealing as you’d imagine®. Only more so.

This message is a follow-up to our chat with Steven Landry, EVP of North American Sales, Marketing, and Mopar® Parts and Service at Chrysler:

This is a follow-up to the e-mails we sent last week regarding the Fiat® alliance. At Chrysler, we are working tirelessly with the assistance of the U.S. auto task force to continue our progress in meeting the requirements set for us by the government. At this historic time, we need every one of our Customer Advisory Board members who support our ongoing efforts to get the word out to all our local, state and federal representatives that Chrysler is a viable business on a stand-alone basis.

President Obama recently received major car guy demerits when he proclaimed that America invented the automobile. Even if you give Obama a mulligan, someone on his staff should have fact-checked the jingoistic assertion—especially after President Kennedy told Germany he was a jelly donut (ein Berliner). But President Obama’s most recent gaffe reveals darker demagoguery, highlighting his Messianic mission to mold motorcars to his green dreams. The AP reports,

Obama, touring a California electric car plant on Thursday, said, ‘The 1908 Model T — think about this — the 1908 Model T earned better gas mileage than the typical SUV in 2008… Think about that: 100 years later, and we’re getting worse gas mileage, not better, on SUVs.’

“Bring on the infrastructure” roars GMC’s latest truck ad, erasing the images of American blight and decay that opened the spot. “If we’re gonna rebuild this country,” intones the tough-guy voice over, “we’re gonna need the truck that’s been doing the job for the last 100 years.” The ad, available at Jalopnik, is one tiny step away from being “brought to you by Sierra, official truck of the 2009 federal stimulus package.” On the other hand, Detroit has always relied heavily on the patriotism factor (however warped by the times), as this slightly older ad (that we could find an embed code for) proves. Maybe the latest effort just seems more cynical because, I don’t know, GM is already dependent on federal largesse. And for some reason, GM dealers seem to think the answer is more cynical posturing, reports AdAge. Dealers are “clamoring for a national ad campaign to counteract the daily drumbeat of negative news about whether the company will go belly up,” and GM’s Mark LaNeve admits that the bad news is “telling GM’s story for us.” Which heralds fewer sales-building, product-based ads and more bailout-baiting, “brand building” spots. So stand by for more of the “GM is America” nonsense.

Given GM’s well-proven love for inflating the importance of even the tiniest achievements, you’d think they would muster up something a little more, uh, celebratory than this. After all, they could be slurping up $2B of treasury money (but aren’t). For now. And all they’ve got to celebrate the moment is Ray Young joylessly repeating coporate pablum while looking like he recently took a sip from the wrong grail. Get some sleep guys!

Twenty-eight massive serpents were found in an open pit coal mine in Colombia, by a team led by Jason Head of the University of Toronto at Mississauga. Luckily for the researchers (unluckily for the producers of Jackass), the snakes had been dead for nearly 60 million years. Titanoboa cerrejonensis, could have swallowed my old gen-1 Saturn or a Mazda Miata. Snakes can devour beasts that are roughly as massive as they are, and the 42-45 foot long snake weighed around 2,500 lb. fully grown, roughly equal to the aforementioned machines. Or 500 lb. more than a Lotus Elise. At almost five times the weight of the green anaconda, the world’s heaviest living snake, Titanoboa’s diameter would have been greater than the height of said Elise.

There’s little debate that the Corvette is one of the things GM does do right. As in really right. But does this mean that the program deserves the resources for new concepts like this Stingray? Or does it mean that the money would be better spent working on mass-market offerings, where the track record is not so good? It’s your money (if you pay taxes); you decide!

But wait, I thought Fusion Hybrid buyers cross-shopped Camry Hybrid, not Prius. No? Oh well, even free PR has its price.

Mission-critical musical lyric: “you are the victim.”

Blown+440+big+block+brutal+burnout

Sometimes cars are just hunks of metal and plastic, thrown together to transport you from home to the workplace. And sometimes cars are alive with a romantic, adventurous spirit which transcends the petty concerns of mobility and efficiency. Via Jalopnik comes this four-part Shell Documentary on the 1958 Coupe Des Alpes. While you’re watching Alfas, Triumphs, Porsches and Benzes battle it out over the passes and switchbacks of the French and Italian alps, you may find yourself wondering if this really was the peak of vehicular romanticism. You may also find yourself out of a job if you watch all four parts at work. Which would be worth it. You can always find another job. Tip o’ the hat to Mr Paul Niedermeyer.

How would you react to a spirited encounter with a Porsche GT3?

“Here in Michigan we have a problem: the automobile industry. Thanks to foreign competition and the doubtful management of the Big Three, the state’s economy is in serious trouble. Should we just sell the state to the Chinese? There is a history of this in Michigan – we once traded the city of Toledo to Ohio in exchange for the upper peninsula. So perhaps it would be a good idea. But what would be a good price?

Mrs J, Michigan”

Fastest Pоlice car in the world

The New York Times entered the irony-free zone this morning, with an op ed entitled “GM’s Secret Success.” WTF? Is one of the Gray Lady’s ambassadors about to call GM’s descent into bankruptcy and subsequent raid on the public purse a “success”? Nah. The author of the forthcoming tome “Why G.M. Matters: Inside the Race to Transform an American Icon” wants you to know that GM CEO Rick Wagoner is a genius interruptus. “In reality, Mr. Wagoner has presided over the most sweeping transformation of G.M. since the 1920s,” William J. Holstein opines. “He has reversed management’s long practice of meekly going along with the demands of the United Auto Workers, notably with a deal to transfer health care costs to a union-controlled trust over the next two years.” Ah, a tour of an alternate reality. Cool. But why stop there? Why indeed.

In Japan, a privacy rights group demands the take-down of Google’s Street View, after couples entering love hotels, or men urinating outdoors found a permanent home on Google’s servers. The Japanese group now found another ally: Porsche, or rather Porsche’s test drivers. They were caught by Google’s Street View car with the pants of some prototypes down. The invasion of Porsche’s privacy was spotted by a contributor to the Garage419 blog. In anticipation of his next vacation, he had googled the Mount Evans Toll Road.

Lord love a duck, but sometimes the most idiotic things surface on the internet. And a certain piece favorably comparing Ferrari’s environmental impact to that of the Prius doesn’t have the excuse of coming from some blogspot-based Private Snafu in the Army of Davids. No, it comes from Car And Driver. Print Media. The Big Boys. Etcetera. And since they don’t have the decency to expose their own baldfaced disingenuousness and sensationalist ignorance-peddling until after the jump, we’ll return the favor. Car And Driver’s Steve Siler is an idiot, and that’s all we’ll say unless you bump our page views by hitting the jump.

Is your faith in your country a little shaken by recent political and economic events? Man have you come to the wrong place. We’ve found a pair of stories today which seem to jointly encapsulate every negative stereotype and overly-broad criticism of America. And by God, they aren’t jokes either. First up, we have the story of a million-dollar Mustang on eBay from the Cardomain blog. That’s right, someone is asking for a million big ones for a 1998 lambo-doored Roush Mustang with 175k on the clock. Why? To quote the eBay listing: I am selling this vehicle, which is the only material thing I truly own, because I am trying to save my home and family. I will ship this vehicle anywhere in the world at my expense. the asking price is $1,000,000.00 why?? because i am in serious financial trouble. The sale of this vehicle is targeted to any millionaire out there who is willing to help get me out of my current financial situation. this vehicle is being sold as is. Shockingly, post-bailout audacity isn’t the most nauseating story on the autoblogosphere today. Our second story is so repulsive and national-pride-obliterating that we have to hide it behind the jump. Grab a barf bag and a change of citizenship form and check it out…

The bad news is that GM is so desperate for cash, it’s literally selling off its glorious past. Jalopnik reports that GM is auctioning off “many recent and slightly less-important vehicles from its Heritage museum Collection.” The good news? This is your chance to save GM, and get your hands on some of the products that once made GM the largest corporation in the world. As well as tons of the products that brought The General from there to Barrett-Jackson in search of cash flow. Plus some other random stuff (Pug 205 Turbo?). The auction will take place January 13-19, 2009 in Scottsdale, AZ. Mystifyingly, GM is even listed as a sponsor. So go on down and do your patriotic duty, and take a teal 1998 Riviera for the team. Or just gaze once more at the Art and Colour of General Motors wile crying softly. Full list of former GM Heritage Museum Collection vehicles on the auction block after the jump.

The meltdown of America’s automakers has frayed its fair share of nerves in the autoblogosphere lately. Which is fairly understandable. Folks who used to get paid for online automotive PDA s are now being forced to confront the fact that their advertisers beloved domestic firms have been failing for years and are desperately trying to survive on federal handouts. And this isn’t easy. From Autoblog’s Comic Life captions (must. not. dignify. with. snark.) to Jalopnik’s ongoing “Carpocalypse Now” series, autobloggers are desperately trying to turn the sad news into good old intarweb lulz. And few walk the tortuous line between credibility (calling Detroit’s woes as they are) and goof-tainment with more schizophrenic abandon than Jalopnik’s Ray Wert. The former Jennifer Granholm staffer just can’t escape his Detroit apologist roots, but his pro-bailout spin is generating enough centrifugal force to launch a Ford Excursion into the stratosphere. And it appears to be taking his already-tenuous definition of the term “irony” with it. Having already inexplicably defended the leadership of Rick Wagoner, and termed the bailout bill “ Bankruptcy Lite,” Wert is causing more head asplosion this morning by hailing the House passage of said bill with a Ronald Reagan “Morning In America” campaign video. Dude, check it out: Reagan believed in markets. He would not have seen this unconscionable waste of of taxpayer money as “Morning In America.” And before you even claim that somehow the video is “ironic,” I want you to stop and brush up on the concept. Doing something idiotic and then claiming irony whe you are called out doesn’t make it clever. Irony is found in intellectual tension, not asinine non-sequitors. But by all means, bash back.

Want to see something else than always the same tired parking lot at Long Beach? Go to Russia, tovaritch! There, car haulers are lining up for miles and miles and miles at the border. As reported yesterday, the Russians raised their car import duty to a prohibitive 30 percent, and whoever wanted to ship a car to Russia did it, before the new rate went into effect. Some at the end of the line didn’t quite make it.

Toyota spokesman responds in the Detroit News, asking “How do you tell a worker in Kentucky who’s producing a Toyota that his job is worth less than another American autoworker’s?” How indeed. And we thought the bailout was about fighting racism.

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