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BMW teased the M3 Touring today, surprising just about everyone, as no one outside the company actually knew it was planning to build a wagon version of the car. Rumors of substance had been circulating for about a month, since we live in the information age, but it’d be a new trick for the M3.
Obviously, we’re going to gush about it because people who write about cars tend to gravitate toward fun vehicles that fly under the radar. Any advantage you can give yourself against the watchful eyes of highway patrol are always welcome, and there’s just something about a quick wagon that makes you feel unique — even if owning one doesn’t automatically make it true.
Teased on Wednesday, the model appeared on the BMW M’s Instagram account with the phrase “mic drop,” confirming that the brand feels that it has already triumphed just by bringing the wagon to market. However, exactly which markets might make you cringe when the time comes.
Performance-focused wagons (estates) tend to remain isolated in the European market, despite Americans tending to enjoy more interior volume than their global contemporaries.
The United States had a long, healthy run with the station wagon, but it started to lose acceptability in the 1980s when it was satirized in movies like Ghostbusters and Vacation as being passé. Even if some of us think the Ecto 1 rivals the Batmobile in terms of overt coolness, the Griswold Family Truckster was a real hunk of crap — embodying everything Americans hated about wagons and the car-buying experience for comedic effect. Even its spiritual successor, the minivan, was forced to put its best days behind it as crossovers achieved market dominance as the family excursion vehicle du jour.
That’s a long-winded way of saying the M3 Touring may not make it out of Europe. Canadians and Americans just don’t buy them in the kind of volumes that warrants shipping them overseas, though the car’s specialty nature does offer some small amount of hope.
BMW told us the M3 Touring is approximately two years away from finishing its development cycle — indicating that they’re just starting to work on it. But the brand says they should begin appearing on public roads as test mules soon enough, and will undoubtedly spend some of that time on the Nürburgring to ensure it’s a genuine M.
Expect a familiar twin-turbo straight-six producing roughly 500 horsepower (depending on trim) and gigantic kidney grilles. Based on the teaser, it also looks as though the wagon will get a new bumper and a fairly aggressive rear diffuser.
[Image: BMW]
I doubt anyone in the USA is getting excited about this. If they are, the price will scare them away.
It doesn’t *actually* look good anyway. Look at those proportions and excessively chunky shapes.
It only sounds appealing because we aren’t getting it. It’ll be one of their uglier wagons, and cost a fortune. No big loss.
*huh*?
And wait until you get around to the front, where the sabre-toothed woodchuck grille awaits!
Of course this is vaporware for the NADM anyway! It needs about a five-inch lift before anyone will ever give it a second glance!
Ugly cars don’t scare away buyers, but crazy MSRP and dealers looking for a pound of flesh do.
“I doubt anyone in the USA is getting excited about this. If they are, the price will scare them away.”
More than COVID, I guess. They’d rather not wear a mask than buy this new car.
I’m going to do both…not wear a mask AND not buy this car.
Walmart will miss you :(
Juicy? Really? Time to retire that word before it becomes as overused as “iconic”.
Iconically juicy???!
The phrase “juicy rump” leads one to ask just what sort of juice comes from a rump. Is that supposed to be a good thing? The mental image is not appealing.
Leaking Rump
You know what they say about BMWs..
If there’s no oil leaking, it’s out of oil.
My Challenger Scat Pack’s 392 is the biggest, most powerful by far.
I’m no stranger to bigger engines though. 318 in an ‘84 Power Ram, a deathwish ‘78 CJ-7 with a swapped in AMC 360, ‘05 Ram 1500 and ‘09 Challenger both with the 345 Hemi. Ive only owned 2 4 bangers and those were 2.4/2.5 L respectively. 3 of my CJ/Wranglers had the biggish in-line 6’s.
If this ever comes stateside, BMW will sell all 12 of them.
I won’t buy it unless it’s available in brown with AWD, diesel, and stickshift.
/s
Only one V8 in 45 years – a 77 Chevy Impala with the 305 (5.0-liter).
My mother had a 73 Monte Carlo with the 350 V8, and an aunt had a 61 Olds 88 with the 394 Rocket.
454 Chevelle.
In order:
360 ’74 Roadrunner
360 ’77 Power Wagon
403 Olds in a ’79 Trans Am.
305 weakest of them all. 145 massive HP
305 ’86 Camaro
262 4.3 ’88 S10 Blazer
4.0L ’93 Jeep GC.
4.0L ’99 Jeep GC.
5.3 ’00 Sierra
5.7 ’03 Ram.
5.7 ’08 Charger
5.7 ’10 Challenger
6.4/392 ’18 Challenger. Strongest of them all, 485 HP 475 Lb/Ft.