A Dating App for Tesla Owners? It Could Be Real, but It's Not Spectacular

Man, this is really something. The 145,000th piece of evidence just landed in support of the hypothesis that Tesla is, in fact, a cult, and that activism and ideology has replaced religion in the wealthier, progressive, and more youthful corners of America.

Which brings us to Tesla Dating.

The website in support of this under-development dating app is real, and apparently so is the intention of its creator, a Canadian Tesla owner and “ecommerce entrepreneur” named Ajitpal Grewal.

It sounds like a joke, and it could very well still turn out to be one, but Grewal told Business Insider that it’s all very serious. Love is serious business, you know, and as the website states, you can’t spell “love” without “EV.”

Hey, pick your head up out of that bucket — there’s more!

Grewal claims he instantly became aware of the close bond Tesla owners share, one we’ve made mention of on these digital pages. The ridiculous, cult-like fandom that surrounds both Tesla and its CEO, Elon Musk, often appears like a nerdier version of Jonestown, minus the unhappy ending and free drinks.

Well, Grewal’s looking for many happy endings.

“It became a big part of their identity, and they shared a lot of the same values, like wanting to reduce their impact on the environment, stanning Elon Musk, or appreciating high tech,” Grewal told BI. “Suddenly it hit me, these people would be perfect for each other.”

If you require a definition of “stanning,” please consult this valued resource.

A profile of a very real Tesla owner shows potential clients (who will be vetted for proof of Tesla ownership) what they might be in for. Watch out, fellas — too many late-night noise complaints and your landlord, or possibly parent, might just kick you out! Another warning to the many, many guys (a vast portion of the app’s client base, if online comments prove true) who might take Mia up on her offer: Beware! Your future flame may appear hot to trot, but she’s trying to lure you into an unsafe situation. Tesla vehicles equipped with the Full Self Driving package are not capable of driving themselves.

Do whatever you want in the backseat, but it’ll have to be a solo affair. Mia’s proper place is up front, where her job is to remain alert and ready to take over in case Autopilot gets into trouble. And we’ve all seen that it can.

Have the developers ever talked to a girl? pic.twitter.com/UAeup5FMRE

— Bozi Tatarevic (@BoziTatarevic) August 20, 2020

Grewal, who believes “your car tells a lot about you as a person,” said the app is in the early stages of development. Of course, it’s not a new idea — this Tesla Forums post shows that people were mulling the idea three years ago.

Will Tesla Dating one day come to pass? Will Natalie fall for this silky smooth operator? The jury’s out, but yours truly doesn’t want to be anywhere near it when it happens. Just the thought of legions of panting, trouser-tended Tesla aficionados on the make has me reaching for the bottle.