One of Our CEOs Is Missing

Elon Musk — a polarizing figure, if there ever was one, in the world of cars — marked the end of what would normally have been a typical work week by tapping into the deepest reaches of his mind.

In compliance with his personal credo of treating us all like one of the family, the Tesla CEO made sure we were all privy to this stream of consciousness by pulling out his phone and opening up Twitter. And in doing so, as has happened before, his company’s stock suffered.

I am selling almost all physical possessions. Will own no house.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Seems there’s to be a yard sale in Palo Alto in the coming days, so get ready to pick up some concert posters and folding chairs. Either Musk plans to start renting an apartment and reliving his dorm days, or he’s found a fun new use for one of his company’s oft-discussed tents.

After spending much of the week raging about the coronavirus pandemic and California’s lockdown order — a measure that’s kept Tesla’s Fremont assembly plant offline since the end of March — Musk quickly tapped into the revolutionary fervor percolating through certain elements of a society weary of staying indoors.

Now give people back their FREEDOM

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Mel Gibson, who this writer still thinks is a bankable star, couldn’t be reached for comment.

After rallying the troops, Musk then honed in on the real problem afflicting the country: his own company’s stock price. Something needs to be done about that menace.

Tesla stock price is too high imo

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Ask and ye shall receive!

Wasn’t there a group of tweet-blocking lawyers tasked with monitoring Musk for just such an eventuality?

In the span of an hour, Tesla’s share price sank from more than $761 to just over $686, erasing roughly $10 billion in valuation. This, a day after Tesla’s unexpectedly rosy first-quarter earnings report added $13 billion to the company’s market value. Many would agree, of course, that Tesla’s stock is way too high.

Musk then showed his patriotism by tweeting snippets from the Star-Spangled Banner, possibly after ripping off his shirt during the low flypast of a carrier-based USN warplane. Maybe that latter thing didn’t happen; we don’t know.

There’s a lot of things we don’t know when it comes to Elon Musk.

[Image: Tesla]