Tesla V Ford Probably Ain't Happening

Matt Posky
by Matt Posky

As part of Tesla Motors’ debut of Cybertruck, CEO Elon Musk showed a clip in which the EV pickup yanks a Ford F-150 uphill against its will. The Blue Oval is also building an all-electric pickup, in addition to already manufacturing the best-selling truck model in history. Clearly, Tesla clearly wanted to place both on notice, though the video only provides evidence that Cybertruck can tug a rear-drive F-Series uphill in a video Tesla produced to show exactly that outcome.

Media outlets began musing if this was really a fair fight, apparently forgetting how advertising works, while science celeb Neil deGrasse Tyson offered a public physics lessons. “We all love Torque. But high Torque just spins a tire in place if there’s not enough weight to provide traction,” he said in response to the video. “Fully load the F150, giving highest traction to its rear wheels, then try to drag that up the hill. I otherwise agree: Load both to the max and the highest torque wins.”

Mr. Tyson’s new role as a Ford Truck Man remains unconfirmed, but the more likely scenario is that he’s simply trying to make sure the test is at least mildly scientific. Ford agreed, saying a fair test between brands was just what the doctor ordered.

While Musk and Tyson debated the physics of the test, Ford X’s Sunny Madra suggested Tesla send over a Cybertruck so it could conduct the test in a fairer manner. It’s really dumb, as our own Steph Willems noted earlier in the day, as we all know the likelihood of this happening is precisely zero. Tesla’s pretty careful about who it lets reviews its production vehicles; sending Ford Motor Co a prototype pickup that it could take apart and examine is never going to happen.

The best we can hope for is both companies meeting in a dark alley to yank each other around a parking lot (the trucks, I mean). Yet even that seems like wishful thinking. Most automakers won’t even consider setting up live tests where they can’t stack the deck in their favor. We’d wager that’s what held back the big Tesla v Porsche showdown that never happened. Since every new electric car is a prospective “Tesla Killer,” the media wagered Porsche’s Taycan (formerly the Mission E) would beat it on a racetrack — as if it mattered.

None of these are direct comparisons. Porsche’s cars always have a performance angle, whereas Tesla is trying to build comfortable cruisers that can still manage blisteringly fast quarter-mile times (if you’ve got the green). Meanwhile, Ford’s F-150 is the default pickup for regular people. The thing even has its own emoji, for Christ’s sake.

But Cybetruck sneers at its utility and normality, offering trendiness and attitude instead. The outcome of any hypothetical tow competition doesn’t really matter because there’s little overlap between their customer base. Sure, it’d be a neat spectacle, but what would it change and who would it benefit? They’ve already got us talking about it during the holiday lull.

Cybertruck pulls F-150 uphill pic.twitter.com/OfaqUkrDI3

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 24, 2019

Matt Posky
Matt Posky

A staunch consumer advocate tracking industry trends and regulation. Before joining TTAC, Matt spent a decade working for marketing and research firms based in NYC. Clients included several of the world’s largest automakers, global tire brands, and aftermarket part suppliers. Dissatisfied with the corporate world and resentful of having to wear suits everyday, he pivoted to writing about cars. Since then, that man has become an ardent supporter of the right-to-repair movement, been interviewed on the auto industry by national radio broadcasts, driven more rental cars than anyone ever should, participated in amateur rallying events, and received the requisite minimum training as sanctioned by the SCCA. Handy with a wrench, Matt grew up surrounded by Detroit auto workers and managed to get a pizza delivery job before he was legally eligible. He later found himself driving box trucks through Manhattan, guaranteeing future sympathy for actual truckers. He continues to conduct research pertaining to the automotive sector as an independent contractor and has since moved back to his native Michigan, closer to where the cars are born. A contrarian, Matt claims to prefer understeer — stating that front and all-wheel drive vehicles cater best to his driving style.

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  • Indi500fan Indi500fan on Nov 26, 2019

    How much will Ford sales decrease when all the Tesla Ranger mobile repair folks start driving Cybertrucks? Or will they still need a fleet of Fords to keep the Cybertrucks running? I will say the new Musk "invented" 30X alloy stainless 3mm thick body should solve the paint and rust problems the sedans have.

    • See 7 previous
    • JimZ JimZ on Nov 28, 2019

      @indi500fan but it'll look like s**t in short order

  • Jeff S Jeff S on Nov 26, 2019

    That is one of the ugliest vehicles I have ever seen. Maybe ugly is in and people want to buy the ugliest vehicle on the road. The Aztec was just ahead of its time. This is one time that I would like to see the final production model different than the prototype,

  • ToolGuy Once again my home did not catch on fire and my fire extinguisher(s) stayed in the closet, unused. I guess I threw my money away on fire extinguishers.(And by fire extinguishers I mean nuclear missiles.)
  • Carson D The UAW has succeeded in organizing a US VW plant before. There's a reason they don't teach history in the schools any longer. People wouldn't make the same mistakes.
  • B-BodyBuick84 Mitsubishi Pajero Sport of course, a 7 seater, 2.4 turbo-diesel I4 BOF SUV with Super-Select 4WD, centre and rear locking diffs standard of course.
  • Corey Lewis Think how dated this 80s design was by 1995!
  • Tassos Jong-iL Communist America Rises!
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