QOTD: Pass the Fromage?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

“How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?” – Charles de Gaulle

I have a friend, one whose living room is decked out in red shag carpeting, who often jokes that his tastes in fashion and other trappings of life tend to straddle the line between respectable and… over the top. Cheeseball, in other words. Many times I’ll find myself suggesting, in that delicate manner long-time friends are so good at, that perhaps he’s teetered off that fence and fallen solidly on the wrong side of it.

In the auto realm, cheese is more than ever relegated to the aftermarket, but perhaps OEMs haven’t left this dairy product entirely in the past?

It was Matthew Guy’s mention of Altezza tail lamps that got me thinking of loud, “look at me” displays of bad automotive taste. In the early years of this century, back when Corey was tooling to school in his Audi, Nelly blasting from the stereo, those tail lamps — often combined with a tacked-on spoiler, do-it-yourself yellow mirrors and rimzz, and oversized subs pumping out the bass — signalled to everyone in sight (or earshot) that your soul was empty, your imagination was nonexistent, and your wardrobe would be outdated in two years.

Yet once upon a time, automakers bent over backwards to give those of questionable taste exactly what they wanted. The Seventies brought the mother lode. If you were into vanning, jeans, or screaming chickens, domestic automakers had the ride for you.

Looking for bodyside stripes that match your rainbow suspenders? Order it from the factory!

Wishing you could be a high-rolling pimp but fearful of the legal consequences? Premium marques have what you need!

These days, and for some time, really, automakers have cooled off, producing vehicles increasingly born of committees and focus groups, specializing in offending no one in order to attract the broadest range of buyers, while at the same time reducing build configurations to keep the beancounters happy. The Germans seems to have things under control, for the most part. Japan, too, though the Civic Type R is a prime candidate for this debate.

Larger bastions of free expression remain, however, and if you’re thinking of the truck segment, your mind is on the right track.

While our question today is “do cheesy vehicles still exist in factory-fresh form?”, this writer posits that, in the absence of Testarossas and Trans Ams, and with the C7 Vette now in the dustbin, the truck world is where you’ll still find cheese. Power Wagon, anyone? Sure, it mingles with fearsome capability, but it’s over the top, nonetheless. (Which isn’t to say it’s undesirable, as an overstuffed Eldorado from the mid-70s still has a lot going for it.)

What say you, B&B? What new vehicle would you consider “cheeseball”?

[Image: Corey Lewis/TTAC, Honda]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • -Nate -Nate on Nov 06, 2019

    In matters of taste, every one else is wrong . =8-) . -Nate

  • Tankinbeans Tankinbeans on Nov 09, 2019

    I must have become desensitized to cheese, or I don't quite understand the reference. Mostly what I see are factory fresh tacky designs (such as the Civic), but those are all that's available for those nameplates.

  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh I'd rather they have the old sweep gauges, the hhuuggee left to right speedometer from the 40's and 50's where the needle went from lefty to right like in my 1969 Nova
  • Buickman I like it!
  • JMII Hyundai Santa Cruz, which doesn't do "truck" things as well as the Maverick does.How so? I see this repeated often with no reference to exactly what it does better.As a Santa Cruz owner the only things the Mav does better is price on lower trims and fuel economy with the hybrid. The Mav's bed is a bit bigger but only when the SC has the roll-top bed cover, without this they are the same size. The Mav has an off road package and a towing package the SC lacks but these are just some parts differences. And even with the tow package the Hyundai is rated to tow 1,000lbs more then the Ford. The SC now has XRT trim that beefs up the looks if your into the off-roader vibe. As both vehicles are soft-roaders neither are rock crawling just because of some extra bits Ford tacked on.I'm still loving my SC (at 9k in mileage). I don't see any advantages to the Ford when you are looking at the medium to top end trims of both vehicles. If you want to save money and gas then the Ford becomes the right choice. You will get a cheaper interior but many are fine with this, especially if don't like the all touch controls on the SC. However this has been changed in the '25 models in which buttons and knobs have returned.
  • Analoggrotto I'd feel proper silly staring at an LCD pretending to be real gauges.
  • Gray gm should hang their wimpy logo on a strip mall next to Saul Goodman's office.
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