By on July 3, 2019

Hey y’all out there — incoming message from the Big Giant Head here (if you get that reference, you’re probably an old). We’re shuttin’ her down early today so we can get nice and patriotic here south of the 49th parallel.

Over the weekend, some of us are going to take a page from The Simpsons and celebrate the birth of our nation while blowing up a small part of it. Yes, I just slightly tweaked one of the best lines in the shows’ history in order to make a silly joke. That’s freedom, baby!

Don’t @ me about how the real birthday of our nation is July 2 or August 2. We celebrate it on the fourth of July, and that’s that. Now go forth ye car-lovin’ commenters, readers, and lurkers, and take the long weekend and have fun.

Don’t drive drunk, don’t blow yourself or anyone else (or any animals) up, don’t blow up any property, tone down the fireworks after 1 a.m. or so, and come back after the holiday for more full-steam fun.

 

[Image: rozbyshaka/Shutterstock]

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