QOTD: The Least Sporty Muscle Car Ever?

Corey Lewis
by Corey Lewis

TTAC’s Slack channel honed in on muscle cars the other day. As the discussion progressed, a question came to light which your author hadn’t previously considered. It’s a simple enough inquiry, yet there are many variables to consider.

Today we talk about the least sporty muscle cars.

The image of the muscle car has evolved over time, as automotive segments tend to do. A modern muscle car is faster than its ancestors, and can actually handle corners. Modern muscle cars like the Mustang and Camaro maintain their performance, even with automatic transmissions and four-cylinder engines. But the muscle car game has not always been so good — there were darker times.

In olden times, muscle cars were designed with straight-line speed and raw power in mind. Aggressive styling was an important hallmark, as well. But some so-called muscle cars couldn’t quite live up even to modest genre expectations. Too much weight, not enough sport or engine, or a design which was all wrong for a muscle car. My pick today ticks a number of least-sporty-type boxes.

But I love it anyway. It’s a Mercury Marauder X-100, and it wasn’t a sporty muscle car. The Marauder had a very short second generation for 1969 and 1970. Ford wanted to up its sporting game to lend it more credibility, and changes seen on the X-100 over the basic version included different seats, a floor-mount shifter for the automatic, and road wheels concealed by super sporty fender skirts. It was 219 inches long, available only with a three-speed auto attached to the 390 or 429 cubic-inch V8s. Those engines pushed around 4,300 pounds of coupe. A short-lived and lackadaisical attempt at muscle car from Mercury. I’d love to have one.

Tell us your picks for the least sporty muscle car entries throughout history.

[Images: Ford Motor Company]

Corey Lewis
Corey Lewis

Interested in lots of cars and their various historical contexts. Started writing articles for TTAC in late 2016, when my first posts were QOTDs. From there I started a few new series like Rare Rides, Buy/Drive/Burn, Abandoned History, and most recently Rare Rides Icons. Operating from a home base in Cincinnati, Ohio, a relative auto journalist dead zone. Many of my articles are prompted by something I'll see on social media that sparks my interest and causes me to research. Finding articles and information from the early days of the internet and beyond that covers the little details lost to time: trim packages, color and wheel choices, interior fabrics. Beyond those, I'm fascinated by automotive industry experiments, both failures and successes. Lately I've taken an interest in AI, and generating "what if" type images for car models long dead. Reincarnating a modern Toyota Paseo, Lincoln Mark IX, or Isuzu Trooper through a text prompt is fun. Fun to post them on Twitter too, and watch people overreact. To that end, the social media I use most is Twitter, @CoreyLewis86. I also contribute pieces for Forbes Wheels and Forbes Home.

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  • DenverMike DenverMike on Mar 27, 2019

    Buick Grand National. Your Grandma's Sunday driver, Olds Cutlass shared the same cheesy brakes, shocks, sway bars, etc. I remember C&D or R&T on the Road Test coming down a mountain road, when they pulled over to let the brakes cool (they faded to almost no brakes), its front hubcaps melted into a puddles on the dirt! Except for more power, bigger wheels and tires, the only thing the "GNX" did for the Grand National was a traction arm to help out with the GN's spectacular "wheel hop".

    • See 1 previous
    • DenverMike DenverMike on Mar 27, 2019

      @ajla Basically its rotors were red hot. But thanks, I wish I was talented enough to make this stuff up!

  • Namesakeone Namesakeone on Apr 05, 2019

    Least sporty muscle car? I would nominate the 1971 AMC Hornet SC 360. It could be called a muscle car (small car with big engine and sporting pretensions), but it hardly looked sporty.

  • BrandX "I can charge using the 240V outlets, sure, but it’s slow."No it's not. That's what all home chargers use - 240V.
  • Jalop1991 does the odometer represent itself in an analog fashion? Will the numbers roll slowly and stop wherever, or do they just blink to the next number like any old boring modern car?
  • MaintenanceCosts E34 535i may be, for my money, the most desirable BMW ever built. (It's either it or the E34 M5.) Skeptical of these mods but they might be worth undoing.
  • Arthur Dailey What a load of cow patties from fat cat politicians, swilling at the trough of their rich backers. Business is all for `free markets` when it benefits them. But are very quick to hold their hands out for government tax credits, tax breaks or government contracts. And business executives are unwilling to limit their power over their workers. Business executives are trained to `divide and conquer` by pitting workers against each other for raises or promotions. As for the fat cat politicians what about legislating a living wage, so workers don't have to worry about holding down multiple jobs or begging for raises? And what about actually criminally charging those who hire people who are not legally illegible to work? Remember that it is business interests who regularly lobby for greater immigration. If you are a good and fair employer, your workers will never feel the need to speak to a union. And if you are not a good employer, then hopefully 'you get the union that you deserve'.
  • 28-Cars-Later Finally, something possibly maybe worth buying.
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