QOTD: Is This the Most Obnoxious Thing Another Driver Can Do?
There’s a long list of things other drivers do that piss us off. It’s longer than long. If written on parchment, the scroll would unroll past the horizon, then drop of the edge of the earth, plummeting through the weightless vacuum of space for all eternity.
Yesterday, or perhaps the day before (who keep track of days? It’s 2018), I was reminded of a challenger for the “Biggest Dick Move” podium. It’s one you’re probably all too well aware of.
You’re waiting at a light, the light goes green, and suddenly…
…as your left foot moves upward towards the engagement point…
…and as your right foot lifts off the brake…
An immediate honk from the Tiguan or RAV4 or Crosstrek or whatever ubiquitous crossover sitting directly behind you.
The thing is, I wasn’t off in la-la land, thinking about Meghan Markle, trees, fruit pies, or the inescapable certainty of death. I was in just as much of a rush, my eyes locked on that traffic signal, waiting for the light to change. This means, of course, that the driver behind me had his or her hand poised over the horn, eyes also locked on the signal, ready and waiting to honk no matter how quickly I reacted. Green means honk.
It’s such an obnoxious move, but it seems to be growing in popularity. While I consider myself to be very conscientious of other drivers’ time (as well as my own), I’m also willing to give the driver ahead of me a few lengthy seconds to notice the light change before pounding the center of that circular object in front of me. This isn’t New York City; honking is uncouth around these parts. It might even indicate the presence of mental illness.
Obviously, this ranks among the lesser annoyances you’ll face on the road. No one’s going to die a fiery death because of an impatient honk, though I suppose heart attacks can’t be ruled out. It’s just so infuriating, like responding to a fleshed-out argument riddled with statistics with “Cool story, bro.”
What say you? Are instances of “instant honk” on the rise, and does it deserve a spot atop the podium of assholery?
More by Steph Willems
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One obnoxious thing I find is when you're approaching a multi-lane stop or red light and a car from another cuts in front of you as you're already calculated your deceleration point causing you to have press (or slam) the brakes to make up for the shorter distance. Even worse when they don't signal, and even more worse is when they don't go when the light turns green. Not only did they force more wear to your tires, but now they're wasting your time and ruined your flow. In cases like that, I do have my hand ready to honk. I mean, if you were in such a hurry to switch lanes to get a few spots ahead, you should be attentive to get going off the line in a reasonable time....don't look at your phone, eat food, apply your make-up, turn to talk to your passengers, etc. just drive.
Not the worst thing a driver could do, but one that is obnoxious is seeing someone in stopped traffic open the door a crack and empty an ashtray on the pavement.