By on May 24, 2018

elon musk

A good morning to each and every one of you. We know you’re eagerly looking forward to your Memorial Day long weekend, but there’s trouble brewing in this bucolic paradise. You see, oil and gas companies exist, and that’s bad. Also, there are car companies that manufacture products that ordinary citizens can buy, and they’re also allowed to — get this — advertise what they sell. Distasteful, we know.

What’s worse, lurking among the citizenry (most of whom are true of heart and noble in intention), is a subversive threat that can no longer be tolerated. They call themselves “journalists” — bored, bourgeois types, to be sure, but possessed with the notion that what they scribble about cars isn’t fully and completely tainted by the fact that car and oil companies can advertise. Bloated and decadent from the checks rolling in from ExxonMobil and General Motors, they profess to speak the truth.

We know this isn’t the case. Come with us, comrade, as we discuss a solution.

The apparatchiks in our California sector believe they have a way of undermining the influence of these dangerous charlatans. A man named Musk — we believe he’s part Canadian — suggests the creation of a website. Yes, there might be memes, but hear us out.

This website, you see, will allow the proletariat to rate, as Mr. Musk says, “the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication.” He’s thinking of calling it Pravda, which strikes us as a nice name. We’ve already performed the ground work.

Unless they’re stopped through online shaming from a website created by the head of a car company, these scribes, beholden to legacy automakers and their planet-destroying internal combustion engines, will set the green revolution back years. The wheels of the movement (which hasn’t yet produced a single low-cost car for the proletariat, but we’re working on it) will surely grind to a halt. Never mind that many of these legacy automakers already sell the same green products, only at a lower price point. They’re inferior!

We need the people to march… on down to Pravda to denounce the fevered scribblings of these so-called writers. We need the people to show the world that our leader, Mr. Musk, will not be cowed by the slander and lies emanating from this subversive subset. After all, we’re forced to make rosy production predictions. It’s not our fault if we don’t follow through. People shouldn’t notice. And the assembly line is a new thing; everyone knows there’s bugs that crop up from time to time.

Anyway, we don’t want to keep you too long. Just know that we’re doing everything in our power to counter this threat. To help display the dishonesty and compromised nature of this “media,” our Mr. Musk will regularly retweet our man in Montreal. A solid gent, he is; even owns stock. Has referred many customers to our door, and our program made sure the prizes and gifts flowed. We need more men like him. Level-headed. Not prone to the kind of wild conspiracy theories spread by disciples of Big Oil.

Don’t worry, our most ardent followers — modern, right-thinking, coastal types who worship and protect legacy media sources with slogans like “Democracy dies in the darkness,” especially since early 2017 — have our backs.

Anyway, on with your day.

Oh, one more thing. Will you be accompanying us on the gulag inspection this weekend?

[Image: OnInnovation/Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)]

Get the latest TTAC e-Newsletter!

Recommended

41 Comments on “QOTD: Morning, Comrade – Shall We Visit the Politruk Today?...”


  • avatar
    MrGrieves

    Access to this website will be granted only after submitting a $1,000 subscription deposit. Thank God he’s looking after us Proles!

  • avatar
    Vulpine

    Love the sarcasm in this article.

    The problem is, Tesla gets far more coverage than any other single brand and the vast majority of it is negative. A lot of this is due to so-called ‘analysts’ who like to claim they know more about the company than he does and try to compare Tesla’s growth finances and operations to 100-year-old companies who spent their growth money long ago.

    And… isn’t it a given that the first-year model from EVERY brand has its issues? Why is Tesla being singled out as any worse than the others when most of the problems in their cars are simply a matter of reprogramming their computers over the air?

    • 0 avatar
      TrailerTrash

      WAT!?
      You are joking.
      Tesla gets so much positive press, at least it did BEFORE they started showing their true inabilities to produce and make false claims, that it didn’t even need or have a publicity budget.
      Like Trump’s use of the free press he was given in the early primaries, Tesla was grabbing all the free pub it could get.
      Tesla was the Golden Car of the future to the press.
      Only now he is getting caught with his pants down and he doesn’t like it.

      • 0 avatar
        Vulpine

        Exactly my point, TT. The press was quite positive–TOO positive. As such, people have gone out of their way to post false things about Tesla; like the guy who, for years, blamed nearly every single accident a Tesla was involved in on what he called, “Wonky Wheels.” He posted so many complaints • in other people’s names • to the NHTSA that the NHTSA had to bar all reports on those so-called “Wonky Wheels”, especially when every single instance could be proven caused by over-enthusiastic driving and crashing wheels into curbings, potholes and other obstacles. What’s funnier is that I personally watched a young man in a Mustang do the exact same thing entering my community, up to and including taking the wheel right off the car due to a broken axle. And a Tesla is over 1500# heavier than a Mustang, so any curb-slamming, especially with such low-slung weight, would see axle and suspension break before anything else was damaged.

        No, Musk hasn’t made false claims; projective statements expressing hope to have a certain level of production, or a certain body style or whatever are not promises, they’re expressed goals he fully intends to achieve and usually DOES achieve, albeit later than hoped for. Physics says they can be done but no product made by man is perfect, and physics, by nature, is perfection. Physics offers the possible and we can come close to that possibility in many cases. But the things we make are subject to human error, even when made by other machines. Someone once said, “The difficult we can do right away; The impossible takes a little bit longer.” Musk has already done what others have said was “impossible” many times. Arguments like yours make the ‘impossible’ just that much more difficult.

  • avatar
    Fred

    What the hell are you talking about?

    • 0 avatar
      Malforus

      Elon has gone full “Fake News” and thinks Journalists are a drain on society.

      He is talking about creating a web site where truth will be voted on by popular opinion. You know like a Reddit but for spin.

      It would be funny if this wasn’t a man whose personality cult has launched him inside the white house advisory. http://time.com/5289630/elon-musk-media-twitter-rant-tesla/

      Obviously the idea of Twitter ranking journalists is objectively terrifying because the site that does the ranking wouldn’t be open or privy to ranking mechanisms.

      He’s trying to make a private propaganda site.

      • 0 avatar
        Fred

        Sorry I didn’t sleep well last night. Thanks for the explanation and now the article makes more sense.

        The fake-news rant is the latest incantation of “shoot the messenger” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_the_messenger Of course Twitter is worse than Facebook to get news, and this just proves that point.

        So for now I’m getting off the internet and enjoy the day and the upcoming weekend.

        • 0 avatar
          sgeffe

          Sometimes all I can do is shake my head!

          “Get Off the Internet and enjoy my weekend!” Keine Scheiße! (Hopefully the censors don’t flag that — “no feces” in German!)

  • avatar
    tylanner

    I don’t understand the Tesla furor.

    If you think it is going bankrupt then don’t touch the stock. If you think it is on the verge of becoming the next Amazon then bet on it.

    But to discredit and taunt an honest American manufacturer of working automobiles is simple mindlessness.

    It looks like Elon supports simple community building. Destructive individuals should be banned from any community. Dishonesty and harassment are never constructive, are easy to spot and even easier to control in our digital world, despite the specter of anonymity.

    Conforming to the rules of a community is part of being a responsible participant in building something. And rule #1 is honesty.

    It won’t be a safe space where you are immune from criticism but you shouldn’t have to worry about the mindless rhetoric engineered to distract and harm. Corporations are nothing more than humans best shot at coordinating to achieve some higher goal….if they want to eliminate corrosive behavior then we should support them….

    People often mistake common decency for totalitarianism…

    • 0 avatar
      FreedMike

      Musk was more than happy with the “fake news” media when it wasn’t reporting stuff that made him and his company look bad.

      But in a sense, this is the same stuff that every company that has a prominent public profile does – it just does it behind closed doors. Musk tweets it out. In either case, the bottom line is the same: dollar signs.

    • 0 avatar
      sirwired

      If Elon doesn’t want all this publicity, he shouldn’t court it.
      If he doesn’t want the press making fun of failing to hit promised production deadlines, he shouldn’t making promises he can’t keep.
      If he doesn’t want the financial press to rip apart his financials with speculation, perhaps he should not blow off straightforward questions about them.
      If he doesn’t want the press to point out every production defect, he should stop boasting about how his vehicles are better-built than any other car ever made.
      If he doesn’t want heaps of abuse over his fouled-up factory, perhaps he should have held off boasting how it would revolutionize production.
      If he wants friendlier treatment from the automotive press, perhaps he should stop yelling at any outlet that has the temerity to print something that’s not 100% positive. (He’s making some progress here; he managed to not actively insult CR when they published their Model 3 braking results.)

    • 0 avatar
      ra_pro

      If you are being sarcastic then you’re hiding really well. Otherwise I think it’s well proven that Musk’s indecency is only exceeded by the agent orange in the WH. It’s always the most indecent ones who most loudly proclaim their hurt.

      Ahh and then there is the community? Tesla is part of the car business, like dozen or so other companies around the world. Yes, we can perhaps even extend the social moniker of a community to it but just for the sake of the argument. So what is Musk’s problem with this community? He clearly doesn’t like its rules. He thinks he and by extension his company are special and shouldn’t be judged by the standards of this “community”. So he has solution, let’s start own community where only like-minded comrades will be allowed. I think the article has it spot on.

      • 0 avatar
        TrailerTrash

        so…would your position be that the loser in the last american election has gone off quietly into the sunset, is is herself complaining a bit to much about the press, rooskies and fbi costing her?
        andall the so called mainstreem media calling trump out for his words are not complaining a bit much themselves?
        or is it just your favs that are allowed to cry foul and nobody else?

    • 0 avatar
      "scarey"

      @tylanner-” I don’t understand the Tesla furor.”
      I don’t understand the Tesla Fuhrer,
      -fixed that for ya !

  • avatar
    sirwired

    Elon needs to find a more comfortable place to sleep, because clearly he’s running on fumes here.

    Yes, a website to put ratings for the accuracy of media outlets up for popular vote; that’s totally subjective and will surely not be subject to truly massive levels of trolling, manipulation, and group-thing.

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    Got a healthy laugh from this, but the whole “Pravda” thing is definitely a mixed metaphor, given that under actual communism, Elon Musk would be penniless.

    • 0 avatar
      Sub-600

      Mixed metaphors are a pain in the neck and should be tossed out the window.

      • 0 avatar
        PrincipalDan

        I always got a laugh at early Soviet production targets.

        “We will build 300 tons of bathtubs this year!”

        Builds 300 one ton bathtubs: “VICTORY!”

        • 0 avatar
          ra_pro

          Sorry, that’s not how communism works. It almost never achieves its targets but proclaims victory anyway. Just think about it, if it could actually achieve it’s commercial targets it would still be alive and well perhaps even defeating the capitalism.

          Problem in communism: underproduction of goods and services.

          Problem in capitalism: overproduction of goods and services.

          Solution: somewhere in the middle.

          • 0 avatar
            PrincipalDan

            My point was that a 2,000 lb bathtub is pretty freaking useless for the average consumer but the goal was not to produce something useful. The goal became meet the target so you could claim victory to the party bosses.

            And yes I’m being facetious.

            As far as things like types of governments or economic systems I always remember Churchill’s words: “Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”

    • 0 avatar
      slavuta

      Under communism… my favorite leader said, “no person, no problem”. What Elon?

  • avatar
    Sub-600

    Pravda is actually a hoot, I look it over every now and again, it’s as if the Cold War never ended. The only difference between Pravda and CNN is that CNN will admit to a fake report after letting the damage set in for a week or so, Pravda just lets it ride.

  • avatar
    slavuta

    Ted Cruz has many faults. But he nailed this: “liberal fascism”.

  • avatar
    don1967

    I’m confident that Elon Musk will fact-check the world just as honestly as CNN does.

  • avatar
    slavuta

    Pravda? collusion with Russia.

  • avatar
    "scarey"

    Actually, come to think of it, Automotive journalists are the only “journalists” worthy of the name. The only ones who report and reflect, rather than trying to change the narrative to match their own biases and prejudices. When you are reporting about cars (or widgets) you can only bend the truth so far before the readers will call Bullsh!t on you.
    I’m not saying that a tiny few of them don’t sneak in their political views and biases into their articles- after all most if not all of them went to college sometime in their past. But that is an entirely different subject left for another day.
    Automotive Journalists are THE ONLY so-called journalists that I believe. Even when I disagree with them.
    And some of the best of them are right here at TTAC. Good day !

    • 0 avatar
      Ubermensch

      You display a profound ignorance of the general Automotive press if you think that these “journalists” don’t have biases both inherent and bought. Do you think that the auto industry flies “journalists” to exotic locations and wines and dines them so that they will get an honest review? You also must not have been paying too much attention to the writing here at TTAC if you don’t think many of the authors don’t have political and social axes to grind.

      • 0 avatar
        nramacciato

        Thank you for being the voice of reason, Uber. Clearly the commenter above only reads news from this site and either ignores or agrees with the bias tendencies projected here, which doesn’t make it a problem for them.

    • 0 avatar
      Asdf

      Automotive journalists write the most unbelievable and incorrect things sometimes, though, such as calling Volvo a Swedish automaker…

  • avatar
    stingray65

    Maybe if Mr. Musk doesn’t like the coverage he gets from certain media channels, he should cut all Tesla advertising in that channel just like GM and other automakers have done from time to time.

    You say Tesla totally relies entirely on free publicity for media coverage, and doesn’t actually spend any money on advertising so he can’t actually cut spending to retaliate? Well then, never mind…

  • avatar
    Pete Zaitcev

    It’s highly ironic when borderline commies throw gulag references around. And Musk is right for once: media is the worst, journalists are not trustworthy – no matter how cute their hyperbola is.

  • avatar
    Master Baiter

    Never tweet after two or more glasses of red wine.
    .
    .

  • avatar
    hpycamper

    Why the jibes at Californians, Canadians and coastal types? Some other undercurrent besides Musk’s jabs at journalists?

    • 0 avatar
      30-mile fetch

      It’s the culture here, and the Pravda Corp name had to be riffed upon. And if you’re gonna riff on the Russian Commies, you better reference the American political left even if it is stupidly hyperbolic.

      And richly ironic: the biggest abuser and shamer of journalists in order to distort facts, rally loyalists, and forward an agenda in this country is not Musk; it’s the President. The parallels here are delicious and I’ve noticed most of the usual suspects here ain’t touching this comment thread.

      • 0 avatar
        Luke42

        It looks like the author is trying to hide what he really thinks behind a thin veil of sarcasm and, yet, what he’s asserting is so out of touch with reality that not even worth correcting.

        Ignoring the dripping political BS, I’d like to talk about Tesla. As a Tesla superfan, I’ll say several things that this editorial completely missed:

        1) Tesla is catering to a demographic of well-off car buyer’s who have been largely ignored by the legacy automakers. We’re excited about that.

        2) Tesla is a high-risk business, and likely to fail. We all know that. That’s actually kind of exciting too, because we’ve all spent decades dreaming (and making spreadsheets) about building a company like this — and someone finally had both the balls and the cash to actually try it.

        3) Tesla is an American company which makes innovative high-tech cars in the USA. USA! USA! USA! USA…? The “Made In America” crowd doesn’t seem to care about the fact that Teslas actually are made in America.

        4) Tesla would exist without goverent support, but it wouldn’t be moving quite as quickly. Musk isn’t going to leave money on the table, just to make a few faux-libertarian pundits happy. He’ll use everything he has available to fulfill the company’s mission.

        5) I actually believe Musk when he says Tesla’s mission is to “accelerate the advent of sustainable transport by bringing compelling mass market electric cars to market as soon as possible” — and the company’s actions make sense through that lens.

        P.S. Yes, California is part of America — and has such a red-hot capitalist business climate (despite the anti-growth efforts by the locals and the resulting red-tape). The assertions to the contrary are silly. Hey, I hate California too — which is why I haven’t moved there. But, pretending California is a communist country that isn’t part of America is just silly.

  • avatar
    conundrum

    If I hadn’t read other articles about Musk and his proposed journalist-rating mobsite earlier today, this load of gibberish from TTAC wouldn’t have given me a single clue as to 0what’s going on. Useless. Musk is South African if that means diddly squat.

    Here, read this instead:

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-tesla-musk/teslas-musk-bashes-media-proposes-credibility-check-idUSKCN1IP27O

    No doubt TTAC’s resident Tesla apologists tylanner and vulpine, as members of the cult, voted for Musk’s site, while a further 88% of 583,000 sheep also acquiesced to the theme that he is being unfairly targeted for slights despite being a genius who can lead the horde out of the forest into the land of cool green meadows all on his lonesone. Whatta guy!

    Musk was going after big media in his grousing. So it’s a TTAC conceit that Musk is targeting this piddly outfit. But if it makes the staff happy, so be it.

    • 0 avatar
      Luke42

      I’m a card-carrying member of the Tesla superfan club, but I can’t stand Twitter.

      Twitter would have been fun for me in 1999. But, it’s not 1999 anymore.

  • avatar
    bd2

    So, Consumer Reports was “wrong” about the Model 3’s braking issue until they were right (and Musk/Tesla finally admitted that they were working on a “fix”; like for so many other things).

    • 0 avatar
      Luke42

      Yep — and the firmware fix is being rolled out.

      This is the blessing and the course of the “move fast and break things” mentality in SV. Mistakes are made, mistakes are fixed quickly, things get done quickly — but the world is your beta tester, and the customers will figure that out sooner or later.

      People from other industries are just as smart and hard working as the SV types, but take a more conservative approach for very sensible reasons. <– This comment would raise “you don’t get it” eyebrows in SV, because SV.


Back to TopLeave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent Comments

  • dividebytube: >>The next morning, your sleepy author climbed out of bed with five hours’ sleep and contemplated...
  • Corey Lewis: Schedule C it is!
  • sportyaccordy: Hard time to be a D3 car dealer.
  • SCE to AUX: By the way, EV drivers didn’t vote the EV subsidy into being – your legislators did.
  • cimarron typeR: We did a fly and drive to Chi., worked out well but we didn’t bring the kids obviously so we...

New Car Research

Get a Free Dealer Quote

Staff

  • Contributors

  • Timothy Cain, Canada
  • Matthew Guy, Canada
  • Ronnie Schreiber, United States
  • Bozi Tatarevic, United States
  • Chris Tonn, United States
  • Corey Lewis, United States
  • Mark Baruth, United States
  • Moderators

  • Adam Tonge, United States
  • Corey Lewis, United States