Video: Google's Waymo Exhibits the Total Lack of Excitement Inside Driverless Cars

Matt Posky
by Matt Posky

After getting the go-ahead from Arizona, autonomous tech firm Waymo has implemented the first ride-hailing service in the country that doesn’t employ human drivers. One month after securing approval, and with no major incidents to date, the company has begun offering its autonomous taxi service to paying passengers. On Tuesday, Waymo CEO John Krafcik gave a speech at South by Southwest (the indie music festival that evolved into a media and tech bonanza) to showcase how things were getting on.

He said Waymo ditched the Phoenix test drivers and is readying its fleet of driverless Chrysler Pacificas for other parts of the country. The festival was then treated to a short video of passengers yawning. Those yawns are actually trumpets, however, heralding the introduction of autonomous vehicles in North America.

Apologies if that makes it sound exciting, because the video clip is about as enthralling as relaxing next to a lavender-scented candle. But that’s the point.

Waymo has been on a mission to provide the public with propaganda evidence that autonomous vehicles are a safe and superior alternative to traditional cars. Barring a digital terrorist strike, they’ll likely be proven correct. However, skeptics will continue to remind people that driverless cars offer Google/Waymo parent company Alphabet all manner of new revenue streams. Self-driving cabs will rake in fares while privately owned “connected” cars provide all kinds of sellable data and advertising opportunities. Customers will also have more time to use web services when they aren’t busy driving.

The proposed trade-off is having the ability to relax, something which the video focused on extensively. After the novelty of riding in a vehicle that pilots itself wore off, practically all of the Waymo fares broke out their phones or started to nod off. While this is also possible in human-driven taxis, the company wants you to imagine the possibilities that extend beyond these borong activities — and not all of them have to be boring.

We’ve speculated in the past that the absence of a living operator could encourage passengers to engage in the absolute filthiest of human activities. An absence of watchful company makes a space feel more like your own. When questioned about the prospect of sexual activity in self-driving vehicles, Krafcik said he was unaware of any incidents thus far.

At any rate, Waymo is still pioneering the technology and remains a leader in the field. But the path for autonomous cars remains unclear. While the vehicles do boast added safety, practical assessments don’t expect them to reduce congestion or commute times. Likewise, they’ll only be profitable as a ride-hailing option once the associated technologies become cheaper than using the human alternative. In fact, the big money appears to be in personal data acquisition and in-car marketing — which doesn’t necessarily have to be linked to self-driving vehicles.

Waymo’s current business model involves sticking to ride-sharing and informing the public of the merits of computer-controlled vehicles. The company has expressed concern that the hardware required for autonomous driving could be too costly and impractical for the average consumer. “Because we see so much potential in shared mobility, the first way people will get to experience Waymo’s full self-driving technology will be as a driverless service,” Krafcik explained last November.

It also doesn’t manufacture cars, which would make direct ownership of its tech an impossibility unless it partners with an established automaker. Unlikely, considering most companies attempt to develop their own by purchasing smaller startups and adding the brainpower to their R&D programs. But Waymo doesn’t appear to have made its mind up on anything just yet.

“For us, having more people experience fully self-driving vehicles early is valuable,” Krafcik said at Web Summit 2017. “It will let us learn about how people want to use this technology — and those insights will inform our future work.”

[Image: Waymo]

Matt Posky
Matt Posky

A staunch consumer advocate tracking industry trends and regulation. Before joining TTAC, Matt spent a decade working for marketing and research firms based in NYC. Clients included several of the world’s largest automakers, global tire brands, and aftermarket part suppliers. Dissatisfied with the corporate world and resentful of having to wear suits everyday, he pivoted to writing about cars. Since then, that man has become an ardent supporter of the right-to-repair movement, been interviewed on the auto industry by national radio broadcasts, driven more rental cars than anyone ever should, participated in amateur rallying events, and received the requisite minimum training as sanctioned by the SCCA. Handy with a wrench, Matt grew up surrounded by Detroit auto workers and managed to get a pizza delivery job before he was legally eligible. He later found himself driving box trucks through Manhattan, guaranteeing future sympathy for actual truckers. He continues to conduct research pertaining to the automotive sector as an independent contractor and has since moved back to his native Michigan, closer to where the cars are born. A contrarian, Matt claims to prefer understeer — stating that front and all-wheel drive vehicles cater best to his driving style.

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  • Sub-600 Sub-600 on Mar 14, 2018

    The perfect conveyance for vapid, risk averse snowflakes and their aging helicopter parents.

  • Sco Sco on Mar 14, 2018

    Oh that's great, it effortlessly transports people around the wide, empty streets of Scottsdale.

    • Sub-600 Sub-600 on Mar 14, 2018

      Driverless Pacificas could wait outside of Wickenburg for illegals who are tired of walking. That would solve the problem of licensing them too.

  • 1995 SC I wish them the best. Based on the cluster that is Ford Motor Company at the moment and past efforts by others at this I am not optimistic. I wish they would focus on straigtening out the Myriad of issues with their core products first.
  • El Kevarino There are already cheap EV's available. They're called "used cars". You can get a lightly used Kia Niro EV, which is a perfectly functional hatchback with lots of features, 230mi of range, and real buttons for around $20k. It won't solve the charging infrastructure problem, but if you can charge at home or work it can get you from A to B with a very low cost per mile.
  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha
  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh *Why would anyone buy this* when the 2025 RamCharger is right around the corner, *faster* with vastly *better mpg* and stupid amounts of torque using a proven engine layout and motivation drive in use since 1920.
  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh I hate this soooooooo much. but the 2025 RAMCHARGER is the CORRECT bridge for people to go electric. I hate dodge (thanks for making me buy 2 replacement 46RH's) .. but the ramcharger's electric drive layout is *vastly* superior to a full electric car in dense populous areas where charging is difficult and where moron luddite science hating trumpers sabotage charges or block them.If Toyota had a tundra in the same config i'd plop 75k cash down today and burn my pos chevy in the dealer parking lot
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