QOTD: Having Aftermarket Regrets?

Matthew Guy
by Matthew Guy

This week, the population of Las Vegas will explode with leagues of auto industry people attending this year’s SEMA Show, an extravaganza filled with aftermarket car products and over-the-top custom vehicles.

Pretty much every gearhead on the planet has affixed an accessory or five onto their rig — with varying degrees of success. From underglow lights to themed valve covers, most of us have at least one aftermarket accessory we’ve affixed to a car that we now look back upon with deep regret.

Me? Well, one of the rotboxes I chose to pilot in my formative years was a 1992 Ford Escort. You know the one. It was ‘round about the time Ford started copying Mazda’s homework. This particular example was a five-speed and everything. As far as I was concerned, it was the coolest car ever built. It wasn’t.

In short order, I marched down to an electronics shop and wasted money bought a stereo system. Speakers, subwoofers, amplifiers – the lot. Did I mention this thing was a wagon? Oh, yes. The coolness factor just keeps increasing, eh?

After an amateur installation, I immediately began running into problems. In an effort to show off the system (hey, theft wasn’t really a problem then), I decided to cut up the Escort’s door panels and mount some aftermarket speaker grilles. Once reassembled, I quickly realized the car’s manual window cranks would not clear the thicker grilles, reducing my maximum side window opening to half an inch. I stopped patronizing drive-thru lanes.

Then, in a perplexing electrical conundrum, my towering setup of subs and amps drew so much amperage that I obliterated the Escort’s electrical ground, causing all kinds of vehicular mayhem. Gauges pegged themselves, lights started doing the Watusi, and my Ford came to a juddering halt on the side of a rural road. After all, electricity is a simple concept… until it stops working, at which point it becomes very complicated.

Naturally, I fixed this problem by clamping one end of a jump cable lead to the car’s negative battery post and the other end to the subframe. Circuit completed, tunes (and the car itself) resumed working. Today, I do not endorse this repair.

Whether it caused mayhem or was simply a crime against fashion, what aftermarket accessory you most regret bolting onto your ride?

[Image: Off-Road.com]

Matthew Guy
Matthew Guy

Matthew buys, sells, fixes, & races cars. As a human index of auto & auction knowledge, he is fond of making money and offering loud opinions.

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  • Rpn453 Rpn453 on Oct 31, 2017

    UPS saved me from a bad decision. When I first got my Mazda3, I was very interested in a stainless, catless, header-back Corksport racing exhaust. No smog in Saskatchewan so catless is legal. But they shipped using UPS, and anyone who has used UPS to ship something from the U.S. to Canada without all taxes and duties pre-paid by the shipper would never do it again. So I passed. My hatred for UPS was stronger than my desire for the exhaust. Since then I have observed many failed attempts to improve a vehicle by changing the exhaust, and even experienced one myself. Most aftermarket exhausts are not pleasurable during normal driving conditions, and they certainly don't smell good without a cat. So I'm glad I didn't waste my time and money doing it to my own car. I've found that the intake is a a better way to experience the engine sound, and improvements can often be made just by removing resonators. Intake mods are much quieter under low load conditions and less likely to have any drone or resonance.

  • THX1136 THX1136 on Oct 31, 2017

    I've installed after market stereos in everything I've owned pre-1998. Always an improvement over the factory radio/stereo. I was good at installing so whatever I put in looked like it was meant to be there. During that time I rarely listened to radio due to commercials and music I didn't want to listen to along with music I did. Tape - later CD changer - made it possible to listen to what I chose. My favorite system was a Clarion quad 8-track, which in a car setting sounded great. Never went the separate amp trip, just used the 40 watts in the stereo itself which, for me, was fine. The only time I regretted doing the installs was the speaker installs in my 72 Charger. While it was done well, cut-outs were necessary in the front kick panels. When I got rid of the car I felt I couldn't remove the speakers leaving the holes. Probably should have anyway as the car had 286K on it (318 in it). The next owner drove it for a few more years after having a collision with it during the winter which messed up the front bumper. My guess it went over 300k easily. The only other aftermarket thing I did was "rainbow tape" pinstriping. It looked cool at night under street lighting.

  • Carson D It will work out exactly the way it did the last time that the UAW organized VW's US manufacturing operations.
  • Carson D A friend of mine bought a Cayenne GTS last week. I was amazed how small the back seat is. Did I expect it to offer limousine comfort like a Honda CR-V? I guess not. That it is far more confining and uncomfortable than any 4-door Civic made in the past 18 years was surprising. It reminded me of another friend's Mercedes-Benz CLS550 from a dozen years ago. It seems like a big car, but really it was a 2+2 with the utilitarian appearance of a 4-door sedan. The Cayenne is just an even more utilitarian looking 2+2. I suppose the back seat is bigger than the one in the Porsche my mother drove 30 years ago. The Cayenne's luggage bay is huge, but Porsche's GTs rarely had problems there either.
  • Stanley Steamer Oh well, I liked the Legacy. It didn't help that they ruined it's unique style after 2020. It was a classy looking sedan up to that point.
  • Jalop1991 https://notthebee.com/article/these-people-wore-stop-signs-to-prank-self-driving-cars-and-this-is-a-trend-i-could-totally-get-behindFull self stopping.
  • Lou_BC Summit Racing was wise to pull the parts. It damages their reputation. I've used Summit Racing for Jeep parts that I could not find elsewhere.
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