By on October 27, 2017

aston-martin-vanquish Tom Brady Edition
I’ve already made the case against Aston Martin using Tom Brady as a brand ambassador. However, after months of marinating in a pool of semi-rational anger, I came to the realization that not everyone would view it as a step down from James Bond.

Brady was chosen specifically to appeal to the United States because Aston wants to bolster sales in North America. His eerily straight teeth and All American Good Looks™ were a marketing selection, albeit an incredibly boring one.

While I prattle on endlessly about how unsettling I find the man, what I find particularly bothersome is that we’re supposed to presume Brady is an automotive enthusiast and ambassador of good taste. However, I’ve never seen him doing guest spots on motoring shows and his penchant for the finer things appears to be nothing more than a byproduct of his being successful. So, when Aston announced the $360,000 car he spent five months helping design was finished, my eyes rolled so far back into my head that it induced a nose bleed and I subsequently passed out. 

When I came to, I wondered if I had overreacted slightly. After all, I think I’ve seen photos of Brady driving around in an Audi R8 and a brief Google investigation turned up that he also drives (or has driven) a Rolls-Royce Ghost. Those are the kinds of cars you might buy when you care about what you’re driving. Still, I’ve never seen him spotted at an auto show, racing event, or openly discussing the finer points of motoring. Granted, he doesn’t often open that sexy little mouth without a paycheck coming his way — but one would hope for at least an inkling of genuine enthusiasm.

aston-martin-vanquish Tom Brady Edition

I suppose I haven’t witnessed Daniel Craig making an appearance on Top Gear, either. But then again, Aston Martin didn’t involve him in the production of a limited edition model with his name attached to it. I’m holding Brady to a higher standard because Aston has forced me to, and also because I don’t like him very much — a point which should be abundantly clear by now. 

So what did we end up with under Brady’s guidance? The Vanquish S Volante ‘Tom Brady Signature Edition.’ Essentially, it’s a black and blue convertible going for a few thousand more than the base model. What makes it different is that Brady used Aston Martin’s bespoke vehicle service — called “Q” — to preselect most of the trim options for you. Instead of outfitting your own car, you get to have one where a quarterback has already checked all the boxes for you.

Additionally, the limited edition models come with Brady’s signature on the sill plates and features “TB12” badges on the headrests, fenders, and rear of the vehicle. Apparently, Aston thinks the key to America’s heart is blatantly tacky accoutrements. The automaker might as well convince Richard Petty to do the next celebrity-endorsed model, paint it light blue, and stick the number 43 anywhere it will fit — it least then it’ll have a direct connection to American motorsports.

aston-martin-vanquish Tom Brady Edition

Beyond the visual enhancements, there isn’t much going on with the TB12 model. The Vanquish still uses the same 580-horsepower 6.0-liter V12 you’d get if you chose the paint options yourself, and I’m not seeing any discussion of performance upgrades.

“It was an easy decision to go with the Vanquish S for the special edition — it is an incredible car to drive and is truly a work of art. Going through the process of curating a unique Aston Martin has been fascinating,” Brady said in a press release. “We started with a blank canvas and finished with this beautiful car. It’s been great to see it all come to fruition and I’m proud to share a name with it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!”

Despite having helped design the vehicle and being so proud, Tom probably won’t own one. That’s probably because driving around in a production vehicle with your own name on it is almost as stupid as driving one embossed with someone else’s. 

Here’s my biggest problem with this: It feels like something you’d expect from a lesser brand. I know Aston Martin wants to improve sales in the United States, but this is so desperate. Every time Brady says something, there isn’t even the slightest hint of earnestness. It’s lazy, he doesn’t seem to care, and using him as Aston’s brand ambassador genuinely boggles the mind. It’s like trying to solve a crossword puzzle in a language you don’t even speak.

aston-martin-vanquish Tom Brady Edition

The only clue I’ve managed to find to all of this came via an interview the company’s chief creative officer, Marek Reichman, had with ESPN. In it, he attempted to associate Brady’s football career with automotive design before revealing something fairly telling.

“When he does something on the field, he sees the result immediately,” Reichman explained. “His world is very short in terms of timing. So one thing he made clear to us was that he wanted to be able to make a move and feel the immediacy of performance.”

“This car touches people through a voice in Tom that they understand,” he continued. “He speaks English in an American’s English, and he’s telling the world why he loves our product. It’s as simple as that.”

A voice they’ll understand? Tom Brady speaks exactly like someone who has endured multiple concussions. It sounds to me like Aston Martin views its North American client base as a jumble of simpletons, unable to appreciate a product without some kind of celebrity endorsement.

Aston Martin says it will only produce 12 Tom Brady Signature Edition Vanquish S Volantes for $359,650 apiece. If you’re seeking more-affordable products featuring your favorite NFL star’s name, Brady also has his own line of TB12 snacks, a meal service, and a $200 cookbook. Interestingly, those items all have some connection to physical health — a subject one might assume a world-class athlete would know a thing or two about.

Deliveries of the stupid Vanquish are scheduled to begin in the first quarter of 2018.

tom brady aston

[Images: Aston Martin]

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48 Comments on “Aston Martin Now Sells Idiotic Tom Brady ‘Signature Edition’ Vanquish...”

  • avatar
    Arthur Dailey

    To demonstrate my displeasure, I will not purchase a new Aston Martin vehicle this year.

  • avatar

    Is it true that if you try to drink a soda while in the car, it will shut down, sound the horn and flash the lights, and refuse to restart? And that its navigation system omits fast food restaurants?

    • 0 avatar

      Smartwater is the only thing that is allowed in the cup holders. A reader scans the bar code and ejects anything else out of the car.

      You’re then scolded by a woman’s voice speaking in angry Portuguese.

  • avatar

    I heard the tires were specially made to be easy to deflate.

    • 0 avatar

      I assume it contains cheating software as well.

      The only reason to buy this car is if it comes with a model as a passenger.

    • 0 avatar

      As a Patriots fan who doesn’t live in Patriots Land, this deflated football rubbish comes in as tiresome at this point, and was a wrong-headed accusation during the investigation. They didn’t need to do what they were accused of, they win games without it(think back just to February 2017), and almost no one in New England believes they would have risked fines and temporary banishment by deflating balls. Yah,so, putting that aside, Belichick and Brady aren’t off the hook. There’s the support by Brady and the support and ludicrous love letter Belichick wrote to Trump simply because they are buddies with The Orange 70 yr old child. Buddies? How many of your or my buddies are qualified to run a country. Very short list, probably no names on it if it looks like my list. So, aside from football, not so good at choosing a White House occupant. And as far as cars, Brady knows only that manufacturers loan him cars and he drives them to work. End of knowledge about cars. Reggie Jackson or Jay Leno he’s not.

  • avatar
    George B

    Comes with special low-pressure tires. Wicked good!

  • avatar

    LOL! As an adopted New Englander I’m a big fan of the Patriots and #12 but I spend part of the year elsewhere
    so I’m well aware that the Pats and Brady are thoroughly detested almost everywhere outside of NE. I attribute this to jealousy but it’s amusing that A-M is blissfully unaware of this. They need to partner up with an American ad agency so that don’t make another cultural misstep like this.

    • 0 avatar

      Yeah, I’m the same. I’m a Patriot’s fan and like Brady, but surprised at the choice. Also, Giselle really promotes environmental causes, so I’m surprised for that reason too.

      • 0 avatar

        Meh, you know what?

        A few thousand Aston Martins is NOT gonna doom the planet.

        We’d be better off focusing on creating new technologies to fight this problem – and committing to them – than insisting everyone be a climate saint.

    • 0 avatar

      Brady has been marketing high end brands for a long time. Tag Heuer and UGG boots among them. It’s not about geography, but about income. People who make enough to buy an A-M like Brady. In the “us vs them” game, he’s an “us” to the Wall St crowd. It’s also why Brady, unlike Peyton Manning, doesn’t endorse cheap pizza franchises or make cheesy car insurance ads with country singers.

      A-M knows exactly what it’s doing.

  • avatar

    And for all those years, the Takata “Manny Pacquiao” Edition Airbags did nothing but get the company in trouble.

  • avatar
    S2k Chris

    I mean, it’s dumb, but wow does it really need this level of your disdain?

    • 0 avatar

      Because, like every one else that hates Tom Brady, they are so jealous that he has chiseled good looks, is extremely successful and works hard at everything he does, has an outstanding football career and of course, a gorgeous wife.

      So many shallow, low self esteemed people out there.

      • 0 avatar
        Matt Posky

        I assure you that someone can dislike something for reasons other than jealousy.

        You are right about the level of disdain in the article though. It wasn’t entirely necessary. But, boy, was it fun.

  • avatar
    MRF 95 T-Bird

    What vehicle would have a Aaron Hernandez special edition?

    Peyton Manning did product endorsements for Buick but there was never a special edition version named for him.

    • 0 avatar
      Big Al From 'Murica

      Third Gen Camaro

    • 0 avatar

      I’m in awe of Brady’s talent, smarts and longevity.

      Even though I’m a Pats fan, I must admit that Peyton is much funnier. Compare the two SNL appearances, Peyton’s yielded two classic sketches, the locker room dance set to Casino Royale (that’s a curious coincidence given that it’s A-M we’re talking about) and the “NFL making time for kids” parody that had Peyton teaching how to use a slim jim to break into a car. Brady’s sketches were as wooden as they come.

  • avatar

    Dark blue paint and black leather.

    That’s it?

  • avatar

    I am amused that in the last few years, Giselle has out-earned her husband by roughly 2 to 1. Poor guy has to pick up the odd job or lose his man card. The Aston involvement may not be for real, but I think the cookbook is, as he is serious about nutrition.

  • avatar

    I don’t really care about A-M or Tom Brady but this nonsense article seems to be less about the car and more about some sort of personal axe to grind against Brady.

  • avatar

    “Apparently, Aston thinks the key to America’s heart is blatantly tacky accoutrements”

    Has it ever been any different?

    “No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”
    – H.L Mencken

  • avatar

    Check it out – Daniel Craig on Top Gear…AS BOND!!

    (well, sort of)

  • avatar

    “We started with a blank canvas”

    A Vanquish S ain’t exactly what I would call a blank canvas. It’s more like taking someone’s finished oil painting, adding a few dots of color and signing your name in the corner.

  • avatar

    This form of petty makes all other forms of petty look petty.

  • avatar

    Gasp. Like I did when I saw “The Intimidater” Chevrolet Monte Carlo.

    And yes. Outside of NE he and they aredetested.
    Maybe it’s the cocky ness. I m entitled to the Super Bowl.
    Maybe it’s all the cheating the team has done.
    Maybe it’s the fact that they have been on top for over a decade.
    Maybe it’s the refs that throw questionable calls 4 TIMES OUT OF 5 IN THEIR FAVOR.
    Maybe it’s the fact that coach bill dresses like a homeless bum.
    Maybe it’s the fact that coach bill has ZERO respect for the press and is famous for grumpy demeanor and curt answers to the point of it meaning [email protected]#k YOU.
    Should I go on?
    I can.

  • avatar

    Nah Goo Ah Goo Mar ree

  • avatar

    This article could be in the dictionary under “First world problems”.

  • avatar
    formula m

    Is this the kiss of death for a car?

    Last time I saw Tom schilling for a car company it was for his pal Sergio over at FCA with the arrival of the Dodge Dart

  • avatar
    Big Al From 'Murica

    So does the car sit down when it has a leak?

  • avatar

    Giselle should be the spokesmodel not Brady.

    I have always lusted after the DB9. This is like finding out you finally get to meet your dream girl and realize she was in a Russian hotel pizzing on a bed.

  • avatar

    Aston Martin is going to produce 12 of these special edition models.
    That’s the exact number of footballs that were involved in “deflategate”.
    For that reason count me in on one of these collectible cars as long as the NFL contributes one of the original “deflategate” footballs with the car.

  • avatar

    It’s taken him this long to move on from a mere Audi A8L?

  • avatar

    What a blowhard… The automotive journalism business must be running thin on talent, and story ideas that matter.

    It’s an ad campaign targeted at the USA featuring one of the biggest sports stars in the USA, makes complete sense.

    Move on… Preferably to a teen fashion blog or something else irrelevant.

  • avatar

    Brady H8-ahs gotta H8.

  • avatar

    I wonder when marketroids will figure out that normal people do not, in fact, use the word “curated” as part of normal speech, and the use of it is a sure signal some smoke is about to be blown out of somebody’s hind end.

    • 0 avatar

      Normal people won’t be buying this car. Only the very rich, who like to be associated with a “winner”, however the victories were obtained. And they actually LIKE having smokey hind ends. They make believe their hinds are being kissed.

  • avatar

    With all the Patriot haters, people are forgetting that Tom Brady played at the University of Michigan, whose Alumni Association is the largest alumni association of any university in the world, with 575,000 members. UofM has highly ranked law, medical, engineering, and business schools and they’ve produced a large number of people who have been very successful in their careers, the sort of people to whom Aston Martin would like to sell cars.

    I’m pretty sure that A-M would rather that my cousin, the ophthalmologist, was driving one of their cars instead of his BMW i8.

    • 0 avatar

      Bbbut bbbbut bbbutr deflategate!!!!

      Ronnie, you got it exactly. Brady is a winner. And other winners, ie people who can afford to drop $350K on a car, want to associate with other winners. A-M doesn’t really care if 99.9% of people outside of Boston hate Brady. They care about that 0.1% that is their target audience.

  • avatar

    I don’t think it is because they win, it is because of how they win. Not that I care about football anyway. I barely know enough to know to take a walk on fourth and long.

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