Where Are the Bubbles of Yesteryear?

Nearly eight years ago, I sold my Caprice Classic Estate to a collector who claimed to have several dozen “bubble wagons”. Shortly afterwards, I spotted my purple-and-woodgrain Chevy in a storage lot; I called the lot Eclectic Bubbleland. This past weekend I drove by the lot for the first time in a year or two, on the way back from Sunday brunch. To my surprise, all the bubbles were gone. In fact, the place was nearly empty. Only a two-tone quad-lamp Eldorado remained.

Where have all the bubbles gone?

I spent most of yesterday scouring all the usual-suspect sites for an unusual influx of wagons for sale. Then I looked through eBay for suspicious accumulations of lightly used bubble parts. I looked through a half-dozen Facebook groups devoted to Roadmasters, bubble wagons, and B-bodies in general. I called the number that contacted me back in 2009 to buy my Caprice Estate and got a solid dose of “new phone who dis?” The trail appears to have gone cold.

Yet not a pebble falls into the water without a ripple touching the shore, so I’m asking for the Best & Brightest to swing into action here the way that a father/son combo working the gas station helped Buckaroo Banzai escape from John Bigboote way back in the day. If the Bubble Brothers truly owned 80-plus B-body station wagons, then that’s more than 200 tons of metal. Somebody’s seen something.

In a perfect world, we would find the wagons and I would finally be able to convince the current owners of the hoard to sell me a mint-condition OldsmoBubble Custom Cruiser Wagon in a nice light blue or bright white. Then I’d get it over to the Boost Brothers in North Carolina for a 400-horsepower LS transplant. Then, in the words of the old Stax standard, every day will be like a holiday. A Holiday 88, that is.

B&B, you’ve been deputized. We’re on the lookout for 80 wagons. Traveling under cover of darkness or obscurity. Let’s do this.