Freaky Friday: 'Impaired' Caffeine User Gets a Break From California Authorities

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
freaky friday impaired caffeine user gets a break from california authorities

Maybe there is common sense to be found in California.

A driver who was charged for driving under the influence — even though a blood test revealed only caffeine — won’t have to enter a courtroom to plead his innocence. That, a gas station attendant takes the Florida Woman meme and runs with it (into another woman’s car), and Canadian heavy truck drivers just refuse to lower their beds while on the highway.

Blood is Thicker than Coffee

As reported last week, a Fairfield, California man was pulled over for allegedly driving erratically and slapped with a DUI charge, even though there were no illegal drugs in his system. In fact, the only chemical found in Joseph Schawb’s bloodstream was something you’re unlikely to not find in any blood test — caffeine. Police found exercise powders containing caffeine in the vehicle, but nothing else. (The powders are legal to own.)

After the first test failed to bear legal fruit, the cops sent the blood to a second lab in an attempt to find subtle traces of something, but to no avail. Still, the charge laid by the Solano County district attorney stuck, and Schawb spent 18 months preparing for trial. Well, until today.

KCRA reports that the DA’s office has dropped the charge due to lack of evidence. While Schawb, who was returning home from a long day at work at the time of his arrest, is now off the hook, the DA isn’t buying his innocence. Krishna Abrams maintains that she still believes Schawb was under the influence of a drug that existing testing equipment couldn’t pick up.

Never Quibble Over a Receipt in Florida

Where else but Florida, really?

A disagreement over the price of a fill-up at a Riviera Beach gas station ended in stereotypical fashion Wednesday night, after the attendant repeatedly rammed her own vehicle into the customer’s car.

According to the Palm Beach Post, the accused, Lil’Belinda Beckles, was arrested and charged with six counts of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. In this case, it was a loaded Toyota. The customer, Symone Sheppard, had returned to the station to protest being overcharged on a $14 top-up. After Sheppard spoke to the station’s manager on Beckles’ cellphone, the attendant allegedly grew agitated when the customer said she’d have to wait for police to arrive before returning the phone.

According to the police report, that made Beckles reach for the tire iron. After smashing Sheppard’s passenger-side window — and slapping her — Beckles gave chase to the customer when she attempted to escape in her vehicle. The attendant allegedly rammed the customer 10 to 15 times during the pursuit, which responding cops put a lid on. Still, the drama wasn’t over.

The report states that during Beckles’ interrogation, Sheppard walked up to her alleged attacked and slapped her. $14 of gas, folks.

Bed Action in Toronto

Canada’s busiest, most notorious highway doesn’t need any extra roadblocks, but a speeding dump truck left a sizable one yesterday.

The truck, with bed fully raised, was caught on video cruising down the normally bumper-to-bumper Highway 401 in Toronto. And it continued to cruise, even after the bed contacted a highway overpass. Never has a dump truck deposited a load so quickly. While the driver faces charges related to the incident, booze didn’t play a factor, police say. No one was injured.

This isn’t the first time a raised truck bed has wreaked havoc on a Golden Horseshoe highway. Two years ago, another truck tried its best to take down the upper supports of the Burlington Skyway, with impressive results.

[Image: bluemini/ Flickr ( CC BY 2.o)]

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7 of 35 comments
  • Whatnext Whatnext on Dec 31, 2016

    Uh, is Lil'Belinda the gas jockey's legal name or just her nom de rap?

  • OldManPants OldManPants on Jan 02, 2017

    Where's TTAC? New Year's is over and Islander Day isn't till next month.

    • See 3 previous
    • OldManPants OldManPants on Jan 02, 2017

      @-Nate Heh... walking half a mile and over a shaky bridge spanning a sea of railroad tracks to get to your 3rd-shift steel mill job only to find the lab's perimeter fence chained shut was a hell of a pink slip.

  • Chuck Norton And guys are having wide spread issues with the 10 speed transmission with the HP numbers out of the factory......
  • Zerofoo "Hyundais just got better and better during the 1990s, though, and memories of those shoddy Excels faded."Never. A friend had an early 90s Hyundai Excel as his college beater. One day he decided that the last tank of gas he bought was worth more than the car. He drove it to empty and then he and his fraternity brothers pushed it into the woods and left it there.
  • Kwik_Shift There are no new Renegades for sale within my geographic circle of up to 85 kms. Looks like the artificial shortage game. They bring one in, 10 buyers line up for it, $10,000 over MSRP. Yeah. Like with a lot of new cars.
  • Ribbedroof In Oklahoma, no less!
  • Ribbedroof Have one in the shop for minor front collision repairs right now,I've seen more of these in the comments than in the 30 years I've been in collision repair.