Chevrolet to Owners: Take This Catalog and Make Your Commuter Car Sexier

Forget about your tame, hand-me-down Celebrity Eurosport or Lumina Euro of yesteryear, Chevrolet wants you, yes you, to go further in gussying up what could be a very mild vehicle.

The automaker has launched its 2017 Chevrolet Performance catalog, which now boasts added heat for almost every model in the lineup. For some vehicles, the new offerings could be the makings of a performance monster. For others (such as the Malibu), you’ll want to give those factory-backed add-ons some sober second thought.

The biggest news from Chevy Performance is a much hotter LT1 crate engine based on the 6.2-liter V8 found in the Corvette Stingray and Camaro SS. While similar in design, the LT376/535 sports a unique block casting and cylinder head design. Output rises to 535 horsepower — 75 more than the previous LT1 crate engine.

The classic 350 cubic inch V8 crate engine adopts a new hydraulic roller camshaft, new intake manifold and high-flow cylinder heads, pushing output to 357 hp and 407 pounds-feet of torque.

Also in the catalog is Chevy’s latest attempt to thumb its nose at emissions regulations. The 8L90-E eight-speed automatic transmission can now mate with the LT1 and LT4 crate engines, with a full drivetrain available to make peace with the California Air Resources Board. Compliant with CARB emissions restrictions on pre-1996 vehicles, the Connect & Cruise E-ROD system connects a 455 hp LT1 6.2-liter crate engine and eight-speed auto with a catalytic converter and other emissions equipment.

You don’t need to fear California any more.

Handling and appearance kits for the Corvette and Camaro are exactly what you’d expect, but Chevy’s lesser models aren’t left out of the fun. A performance exhaust kit for the Silverado 1500 adds 10 hp and 6 lb-ft to 5.3-liter models, while 6.2-liter variants gain 7 hp and 5 lb-ft. The Colorado also gains performance exhaust and air intake kits.

You’d have to be big into the bowtie to tart up a Cruze, Sonic or Malibu, but we all know they’re out there. These people exist, and nothing would please them more than lowering their Malibu and adding a ground effects kit. Do it, says Chevy, and add a performance exhaust and intake to your Cruze — yes, the one you drive your kids to school in — while you’re at it. Do the same for your sister’s Sonic.

Louis Chevrolet turns 138 on Christmas, and he wants to know that this dream of compact cars that corner with slightly less body lean is being kept alive.

[Image: General Motors]