Let's Make American Cars Great Again, While Remembering That Some American Cars Are Already Great

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Make America Great Again! It’s a dynamite slogan, simultaneously implying that America has fallen a little short of greatness lately and that a return to said greatness can absolutely be accomplished in short order. It’s a winner’s slogan, and it did wonders for that noted repeat winner, Ronald Reagan. By contrast, “I’m With Her,” the current slogan of choice for Mrs. Clinton, sounds like something a henpecked live-in boyfriend would tell a too-inquisitive salesperson at the Pottery Barn.

Whether or not Mr. Reagan truly made America great again is a discussion for another time. I will say, for the record, that I am on a particular side of that discussion, and the quasi-musician known as “Jello Biafra” is on the other.

What cannot be denied, however, is that the Reagan era saw the arrival of some truly great American cars. The C4 Corvette and its third-gen F-body cousin. The 225-horsepower Mustang GT. The Dodge Rampage 2.2. The list goes on and on, although you wouldn’t think that it does from the fact that I got to the Rampage 2.2 so quickly. I would also definitely include the Plymouth Turismo 2.2 in the list, although it would be after the Rampage because the Rampage had more cargo capacity.

Could a Trump presidency spur another era of great American cars? Or would Mrs. Clinton be the right choice to unleash a new generation of “superpredator” sports cars on the American public? While we wait for the American motor-voter to decide, let’s take a look at some of the current lows, and highs, in the domestic-brand arsenal of democracy.

Some American cars are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, and some of them are not great at all. Many of the vehicles in the latter category are made by Cadillac. Put the V-Series cars aside for a moment; most of them have been great factory hot rods in the best American tradition, even if they weren’t particularly good at delivering what the public expected from an automobile that bore the wreath and crest.

What was the last new Cadillac that truly delivered what the customer wanted without excuses or compromise? I’m thinking it was probably the 1979 Eldorado, which set the sales charts on fire and was completely unashamed about being a razor-edged front-wheel-drive personal luxury coupe. That fine vehicle made its debut 38 years ago around this time, which means that slightly more than half of the Americans who are alive today cannot remember a time when Cadillac fielded a competitive luxury car.

Surely this can be fixed. My suggestion: Take the “Art & Science” F-117 Nighthawk styling out back and shoot it in the head. Make Cadillacs long, low, wide, and unapologetically flashy. Give the cars names, and the more dangerous or titillating the name the better. How about a 210-inch-long sleek sedan called the “Cadillac Indulgence Brougham”? Some people would laugh, but they’re already laughing at “CT6”, and at least they’d remember the Indulgence Brougham.

Truth be told, the Chrysler 300C HEMI is a better Cadillac than any of the actual Cadillacs on the market. Perhaps that’s because FCA has neglected their small cars for so long. Compass. Patriot. Dart. Even the Chrysler 200, as much as I personally like it, isn’t winning the hearts and minds of anyone. In order to buy a compelling product from Chrysler or Dodge, you need to step up to the rear-wheel-drive sedans or the new Pacifica. This is all well and good as long as gasoline is $2/gallon. Since we all know that won’t continue forever, it’s absolutely disgraceful for FCA to have such lackluster small-and-medium-vehicle offerings.

At least FCA has the excuse of not trying very hard. Ford took a very good car — the incomparable Flex — and turned it into the loathsome Explorer. It’s probably fair to say that no nameplate currently on the market has quite the uninterrupted history of cynical crappiness that the Explorer has maintained since 1992 or so. First it was a Ranger four-door. Then it was a Ranger four-door that rolled over and killed people. Then it was a bland box that seemed to be made entirely of plastic. Finally, it was a fat-assed Flex with a cavern-dark interior that seems to specialize in having interior space without any corresponding notion of spaciousness. The current customers for the Explorer? Police, idiots, and idiotic police. Meanwhile, the Flex has gone eight years without a significant upgrade. Inexcusable.

Alright. Enough sour grapes. Not all American cars are bad. Some are brilliant. Take, for example, the Toyota Camry. No, it’s not a domestic brand, but it’s chock-full of American content and it has set the standard in the mid-sized sedan segment since 1986 or thereabouts. The 1995 Camry was one of the finest cars in history. The new one is also very good. Try the XSE trim.

There is, however, no escaping the fact that the Camry is an immigrant. If you want a good American sedan with traditional American roots, why not consider the aforementioned Chrysler 300C? It’s the most American of cars, being a vague relative of both the Eagle (Renault) Premier and the W210 Mercedes-Benz, built in a Commonwealth country by a firm under Italian control. It’s all very melting-pot, and the funny thing is that it absolutely works. The first two generations of the car had the right attitude but it took the most recent revision to get the interior correct and to give you the option of matching the most luxurious equipment levels with the perfectly satisfactory Pentastar V6. The only way the car could be substantially better would be if you could get a 300C Hellcat. Call it America’s answer to the E63 AMG.

The Ford Mustang is a vehicle to which Europe has no answer, which might be why it’s lighting up sales charts in both the EU and Britain. It could stand to be a few hundred pounds lighter, but as a supple GT or manic GT350 there’s enough power to make the weight almost irrelevant. The chassis stands up to comparison with the very best from overseas, the interior is decent, and the price is right. It might be the best American car in history, combining the traditional virtues of the rear-wheel-drive ponycar with a modern approach to refinement and quality.

Unless, of course, the Corvette, in naturally-aspirated C7 Stingray guise, is the best American car in history. Like the Mustang, it keeps all of its predecessors’ virtues while significantly ameliorating their faults. It’s effortlessly fast and taut like the original C4 Z51, but it also has tolerable interior noise levels. You can get it with a tinted transparent roof in the best Boogie Nights tradition, but you can also choose a solid top, a restrained color combination, and a set of Competition seats that match the best from Porsche. It will do a 100 racetrack laps in an afternoon at a pace to break the heart of every BMW ever made, without boiling over; it will also carry you from New York to San Diego nearly as well as a Jaguar XF would. It can be serviced anywhere in the country and, if you don’t go crazy with the options, it is eventually affordable for a disciplined saver earning slightly above the median American income. It’s so good that it makes you wonder why GM can’t make all of its cars to the same standard.

Last but not least, I would be remiss if I failed to mention the American car with the largest heart, the one that most truly approaches greatness in the classical sense of being exemplary but not without flaws. This is the last year for the Dodge Viper, at least for now. Since its introduction 28 years ago, the Viper has been outrageous and restrained by turns. It has failings that any child or moron could point out, and it has dynamic qualities that only the most subtle and capable of drivers can dream of touching. There is nothing like it for sale from any other manufacturer anywhere in the world. It is unique, solitary, exceptional. Quintessentially American. So if your favorite candidate wins the election this year, you could do worse than to celebrate by placing a last-call order for a Viper. It’s the greatest American car of all.

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Dal20402 Dal20402 on Jul 05, 2016

    Let's have a dose of obvious reality. If Clinton is elected, not much is going to change. We'll still have CAFE, we'll still have state-level alternative fuel mandates, and the forces shaping the current auto market will keep doing what they're doing. We'll get a slowly increasing number of EVs and PHEVs (and they'll slowly get better). ICEs will continue to shrink and become ever more complex in pursuit of an extra MPG or two. We'll be moving toward a future of electrified transport for typical urban and suburban travel, with fossil fuels being reserved for missions where their strengths are especially important. If Trump is elected, there will be a short-term recession as consumers and investors alike wait to see what the fallout of electing such an unpredictable maniac will be. If he stays within the constitutional system, then things will slowly return to normal, but with some added trade wars (shrinking economic growth) and more conservative environmental policies (likely making CAFE a bit more lenient). The trade-affected economy will reduce demand everywhere but especially at the high end of the market. State-level alternative fuel standards still won't change, and EVs/PHEVs will still be big business, just not quite as big. If he tries to circumvent the constitution as he occasionally suggests in his off-the-cuff speeches, then all bets are off. Instability in the US political system would be the worst thing to happen to the world economy since World War II, and it's hard to predict what the fallout would be.

    • See 10 previous
    • DenverMike DenverMike on Jul 05, 2016

      @28-Cars-Later The raping is just part of the deal. A signing bonus? But illegal immigrants get raped too, especially the women. Or do you really think the immigrant groups/races that came before the current Hispanics didn't have a similar share of rapists, just because they happen to be in the US legally? They probably had a higher rate of raping before it was a real crime with hard time. It probably wasn't reported as much, if at all.

  • Ihbase Ihbase on Jul 08, 2016

    Jack Baruth, BTSR, Mustang assembly quality, and "Trump." There is some real synergy in this group. Totally on par with TRUMP steak and Trump wine. -Michael

  • Analoggrotto Finally, some real entertainment: the Communists versus the MAGAs. FIGHT!
  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh *IF* i was buying a kia.. (better than a dodge from personal experience) .. it would be this Google > xoavzFHyIQYShould lead to a 2025 Ioniq 5 N pre-REVIEW by Jason Cammisa
  • Analoggrotto Does anyone seriously listen to this?
  • Thomas Same here....but keep in mind that EVs are already much more efficient than ICE vehicles. They need to catch up in all the other areas you mentioned.
  • Analoggrotto It's great to see TTAC kicking up the best for their #1 corporate sponsor. Keep up the good work guys.
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