By on May 14, 2016

2016-cadillac-ct6

Will there be black berets, obscure Russian poetry and Yoko Ono albums for sale at the door?

Fans of the General no doubt recoiled in horror at reports that Cadillac — a brand that conjures images of Elvis, Bruce Springsteen, the movie Badlands, and the hopes and aspirations of middle America — is opening a swank coffee joint in Manhattan.

Well, it true. They’re here, they’re upscale, get used to it.

If you’re really lucky, maybe one day you will find yourself drinking java from the upper slopes of a mountain you’ve never heard of while discussing designer fragrances and interpreting (wrongly) works of modern art…alongside a Cadillac.

Called Cadillac House, the café/gallery/dealership fills out the spacious ground floor of the brand’s 330 Hudson Street offices, and is due to open on June 2. Mark you calendars.

Nestled between Soho and Greenwich Village, the coffee shop is a ploy to lure well-heeled urban types into a space inspired by Cadillac, but not in the same way that certain small-town diners are inspired by Cadillac. It’s all part of an initiative started in 2014 to foist the brand onto those who traditionally shun domestic luxury.

“We have tried to tell people what you’re supposed to feel from the Cadillac brand,” said Melody Lee, Cadillac’s brand director, in an interview with Bloomberg. “But what we hadn’t quite fully established was an environment that you could walk into.”

Once inside, a coffee drinker and his or her literary agent (they’re having an important meeting, okay?) can expect quarterly exhibits curated by creative firm Visionaire, a pop-up shop selling Timo Weiland duds, and a room-filling, made-for-this-coffee-shop fragrance created by 12.29.

Oh, right…12.29! you’re probably thinking. Whose shows have they scented again?

Lady Friggin’ Gaga, that’s who.

There’s no word on whether the signature scent will be offered for sale, though if it is, it’s doubtful the bottles will retail for less than $12.29.

If you’re headed to NYC soon, or you’re a local wondering what this whole “Cadillac” thing is, the first artist scheduled for the space is Geoffrey Lillemon, the man behind Miley Cyrus’ world tour.

Tongues off the car, please, and no twerking near the side view mirrors.

[Source: Bloomberg] [Image: General Motors]

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190 Comments on “Cadillac to Open Artsy Manhattan Coffee Shop; Idea is Either Brilliant or Terrible...”


  • avatar
    NormSV650

    BTYS is going have to order some coffee for us!

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    BWAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!

    (Only laughter, and not words, can serve as an effective commentary on Cadillac’s continuously greater foolishness & idiocy)

    Dead Brand Walking!

    • 0 avatar
      Nick_515

      I think the joke is on you, DW. This is brilliant.

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        It sounds like the perfect place for you to hang out at!

        Enjoy!

        • 0 avatar
          mcs

          DeadWeight, the real purpose of this is so that Melody Lee and company can gain some marketable barista skills before GM shuts the whole division down. Do you think they’ll have a Cadillac Genius Bar?

        • 0 avatar
          Nick_515

          Why thank you DW! As a researcher, i get paid to do so. Joke still on you :)

          • 0 avatar
            DeadWeight

            You’re industry is a pathetic joke.

            Go put some free samples of Wen by Chaz Dean in your hair.

        • 0 avatar
          Nick_515

          Ahahahah.

          Just kidding – not funny. You’re trying too hard.

          • 0 avatar
            DeadWeight

            I thought that you genuinely thought Melody Lee’s Latte & Tea was a good idea.

            Failing to detect that you were being snarkastic, my bad.

          • 0 avatar
            Nick_515

            No worries DW. I appreciate your openness to engage.

            I of course smile at this. But I really think they are onto something. Cars are simply not part of American culture they used to be – it’s different now. Instead of singling you out, I should have said: the joke is on us. I really think this kind of “branding” has way more potential than we all think it does. I think they’re onto something. i wish i had time to expand… I am under a deadline to produce something within an hour and then party time…

          • 0 avatar
            runs_on_h8raide

            DW is quite funny and on point. He’s the Shakespeare of TTAC and he doth declare that the wreath is dead and belongs on the inside of a coffin, not the outside. Enjoy your Cimmoron Tea, when the cafe opens Nueva Yorkers!

      • 0 avatar
        VW16v

        Absolutely a brilliant idea. Everyone loves coffee and bringing is a brand that is trying to woo buyers under the age of 60 is brilliant. Cadillac builds world class autos. Yet, Cadillac has an image of building older crusty autos. Next step is bringing in icons and celebrities to hang out at the Cadillac coffee shop.

      • 0 avatar
        28-Cars-Later

        Not really, its a nice way to divert monies which could be devoted to better product into marketing the current crappy product and ignoring the issues.

    • 0 avatar
      energetik9

      As a person that has grown in Portland, OR where quality coffee is an expectation and present on almost every block and as a person that has traveled to NYC and Soho more times than I can count, my only response is, why would I ever make the effort to go?

      Granted I’ll wait and see to be fair, but my gut was immediately that I would look elsewhere. I have no emotional tie to Cadillac, I certainly do not want to enjoy my coffee with Cadillac inspiration surrounding me, and the thought of a cafe adjacent to a showroom already turns me off. Coffee snob, yes, and without reservation or apology.

      • 0 avatar
        360joules

        Well, energetik9, if you are a native of Portland you only have head over to 1801 NE Broadway to the real Cadillac Cafe. Why stop at good coffee or tea when you could also have mimosa?

    • 0 avatar

      “Dead Brand Walking!”

      Like a broken record… It is a 21st century dude – install foobar2000 into head already: http://www.foobar2000.org/download.

    • 0 avatar
      duffman13

      I love the Cadillac commitment to NYC, first with their HQ and then their new coffee shop?. Last I checked, most people who are in a Caddy in NYC are riding in the back of one in livery form. Not exactly the pool of people you want exposure to if you want people to actually purchase your cars to drive them.

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    ““We have tried to tell people what you’re supposed to feel from the Cadillac brand,” said Melody Lee, Cadillac’s brand director, in an interview with Bloomberg. “But what we hadn’t quite fully established was an environment that you could walk into.”

    Once inside, a coffee drinker and his or her literary agent (they’re having an important meeting, okay?) can expect quarterly exhibits curated by creative firm Visionaire, a pop-up shop selling Timo Weiland duds, and a room-filling, made-for-this-coffee-shop fragrance created by 12.29.”

    Nomination for most incompetent (aka full retard) auto execs all hail from Cadillac.

    And the nominees are:

    1) Melody Handbag-WhatIwearToWork-CT Lee

    2) Uwe “Cadillac Is Brand, Not Manufacturer” Ellinghaus

    and

    3) Johan “Chasing 1994 circa-BMW” de Nysschen

    And the winner is!

    …A 3 way tie!!!

    • 0 avatar
      mfrank

      ““We have tried to tell people what you’re supposed to feel from the Cadillac brand,” said Melody Lee, Cadillac’s brand director, in an interview with Bloomberg. “But what we hadn’t quite fully established was an environment that you could walk into.”

      It sounds like Melody Lee really knows how to connect with their target customer. It’s nice to see Cadillac start thinking out of the box.

      • 0 avatar
        runs_on_h8raide

        It’s actually bad to think outside of the box that’s trapped in a sewer.

      • 0 avatar
        ect

        However long I may live, I will never be old enough to drive a Cadillac. Never.

        • 0 avatar
          TMA1

          Your grandkids will be saying the same thing about whatever brand you’re driving.

        • 0 avatar

          I used to think this too….euro snob, BMW Fanboi to the point of Stockholm Syndrome. Multiple Volkswagon disease (I don’t learn).

          Caddy ? I’m not in for triple bypass, yet…. Our last GM was an 80’s Cutlass, with an unbalanced V6. We called it the Supremely Gutless, and it stopped GM purchases in my family even as a thought for 30 years.

          Yet, my second Gen CTS, properly set up with the FE3 suspension and RWD (gets you the V front steering rack) is as tight as a 535i also in the family. I could see how a Caddy traditionalist wouldn’t like this car, and in forums, I’ve seen complaints about stiff ride. Clearly this was the suspension the engineers came up with before making it soft.

          This is a very rare car. The CTS overall is hen’s teeth, even here in the upper tier suburbs of NYC. A non V performance variant … I’ve seen one…. this one.

          While not a Miata on a tight road, it eats interstates, is rock solid at triple digits, is super quiet and is just stout. My biggest problem is left lane bandits on the cell phone. I’ve had more than a few runs with other drivers who are clearly surprised a…Caddy ?…is running with them. When I get my 100 + speeder, it will be in this car.

          The pre maliase Caddy had big engines with limitless torque. Up until the musclecar era, they ruled the interstates. You moved over for them. It wasn’t always a retiree ride, white belt required.

          The bonus is that the straight angles stand out in a world where the cool kids drive Audi. Caddy should have greenlighted the CTS that was more angular (think current Corvette), not the lozenge they sent out.

          I drove the car on a lark, while looking at used G37 and e90. If it hadn’t been the super rare performance RWD version, I’d not have bothered.

          Caddy has a problem in that they can build a decent car, but have to convey that fact to others….

      • 0 avatar
        Lorenzo

        She’s trying to connect with a demographic. Most of that demographic doesn’t have the money to be Cadillac customers. Cadillac built its original cache by catering to the older, rich and powerful demographic. They’d do better by contriving to “award” select Silicon Valley punks their best models for free, hand-built if necessary. The sheep will follow.

  • avatar
    Dr. Doctor

    Does anyone who’d actually go to a place like this actually have any interest in buying a car, never mind a Cadillac?

    Somebody pretentious enough to even care who designed the darn scent of the place probably wouldn’t even consider setting foot in a GM dealership.

    • 0 avatar
      ajla

      No. Cadillac had a fan base (they buy Escalades right now) but acknowledging them makes GM feel icky.

      • 0 avatar
        MrGreenMan

        There are still some great spots left on Woodward or Telegraph between Pontiac and Detroit where you can get some mix of the long forgotten real Cadillac; some even have the V for Victory so that can swing either way (Chevy or Cadillac)…pink neon light accents around stainless steel doors, counters, and tables; waitresses with modern approximations of poodle skirts; coney dogs; rockabilly piped in through a SiriusXM radio made to look like a juke box.

        I wouldn’t know what to do in this place described in the article. It sounds like a cheap imitation Starbucks from people who don’t even know how to make a nice coffee hangout. The three stooges in charge of the undertaking of the Cadillac brand are there to kill it because, like an angry National Review writer disappointed with poor white trash and David Allen Coe’s America, they don’t think it should be allowed to exist.

        Fast cars, long-legged girls, and fun – time to listen to some Elvis and look at pictures.

        • 0 avatar

          The extent to which Kevin Williamson’s critiques of the white working class have been misrepresented by those who feel the sacred cattle of what they see as their own tribe being gored is saddening. Williamson simply called for personal responsibility.

          If he was talking about the residents of Detroit instead of some small town in upstate New York, you would have likely nodded in agreement.

          Americans have always been movers. Immigrants moving to the United States and then expanding across a continent, a continent that now has ghost towns from coast to coast as people have pulled up roots and moved for economic and other opportunities.

          Williamson echoed that tradition by telling those who live in dying communities to move. For that he’s been accused by the alt-right as calling for the extermination of white working class folks, a lie that borders on a blood libel.

          As an aside, I think that Kevin Williamson is one of the two best writers on contemporary events, the other being Jack Baruth. In both cases I don’t always agree with what they say, and I’m sure they’d disagree with each other about some things, but they’re both wordsmiths of high caliber.

          • 0 avatar
            JimZ

            “Williamson echoed that tradition by telling those who live in dying communities to move.”

            Let them eat cake!

        • 0 avatar
          jrhmobile

          I think it’s fair to wait until this actually comes to pass before calling the jury to pass judgment.

          While I agree the concept of a chi-chi trendy coffee shop next to a showroom is a touch too precious, there are Merc/BMW/Lexus dealerships which have established cafes by their showrooms too. A couple of Harley shops too, as part of their “lifestyle brand” clothing shops/cycle dealers.

          If Cadillac plans to pull this off in pretentiously self-important Manhattan, it better come up with a legitimate top shelf coffee shop. Anything less will not reflect well as the “Cadillac of coffee cafes.”

          Please excuse the lack of affectation by not accenting the “e” in cafe. I’m working on my Mac this morning and applying the appropriately pretentious accent wouldn’t translate well in a WinTel PC world.

    • 0 avatar
      Snooder

      Which is kind of the point.

      They know that the people who’d be interested in this sort of thing don’t buy Cadillacs. They’re trying to figure out how to convince those people that they should.

      • 0 avatar
        Toad

        The coffee shop sounds like the kind of idea a 24 marketing major would pitch to their 64 year Senior VP. The kid does not have enough experience to know better, the executive it too out of it to know it is a bad idea, and everybody in between is keeping their head down because they don’t have any better suggestions.

  • avatar
    qfrog

    Will this last even a year? I have my doubts.

  • avatar
    Kenmore

    “Desperation”
    Eau de Parfum.

    -By de Nysschen-

    • 0 avatar
      stuki

      Pretty much.

      Best you can say for the whole charade; is that as last ditch Hail Marys go; betting that the guys who stole the rest of middle America’s dreams and aspirations, may go for the car brand as well; is at least a tad poetic, in a macabre sort of way.

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      That’s so brilliant I think you deserve a new internal light bulb as reward.

  • avatar
    heavy handle

    Not as stupid as it’s made-out to be.
    Mercedes, Toyota, Fiat, and the French brands have the same kind of shops on the Champs Elysee in Paris.

    They show-off some classics, prototypes, new models, sell some merchandise, stuff like that. It’s fun if you’re a car person, and it’s a way to check-out the latest models without any sales pressure.

    Nobody goes there for the quality of the coffee, although I’ve heard that Fiat sells a very good espresso.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      “Not as stupid as it’s made-out to be.”

      Dumber than dog $hit.

      Dumbest idea imaginable.

      Dumb enough to out-dumb Cadillac’s last “big idea.”

      Cadillac can’t die fast enough.

    • 0 avatar
      ajla

      “They show-off some classics”

      I triple-mega dare them to put a classic Cadillac in their coffee house.

      • 0 avatar
        heavy handle

        That’s a problem for Cadillac. They’ve got lots of classics in the vault, but if they show a V-16, or a Sixty Special, or a ’53 Eldorado, it just makes their current stuff look bad.

        • 0 avatar
          "scarey"

          THIS ! THIS ! THIS !

          • 0 avatar

            Which is why the Ciel needed to be built, along with something else just over the top.

          • 0 avatar
            DeadWeight

            “Which is why the Ciel needed to be built, along with something else just over the top.”

            Here’s what Cadillac teased as their next production halo car back in 2014:

            http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/CadillacElmirajConceptNYC13.jpg

            http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/2013-Cadillac-Elmiraj-Concept-004.jpg

            And here’s the CT6 in all of its complete MEH:

            https://mgcls.com/index.php/latest-news/581-2016-cadillac-ct6-2

            Bonus: XT5 gauge cluster (as in the new replacement for the SRX):

            http://gmauthority.com/blog/2015/12/cadillac-ats-wish-list-item-no-2-the-gauge-cluster/

            (Check out picture #2)

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        They need to put this future .8 liter powered Urban Cadillac in the SoHo Coffee & Espresso Bar –

        http://www.futureracecar.com/wp-content/gallery/2011CadillacULC/2010_Cadillac_ULC_003.jpg

        – with it sponsored by Hermes or Gucci, & stuffed full of Melody Lee’s favorite handbags & Jimmy Choo shoes!

      • 0 avatar
        nickoo

        They don’t be making those classics anymore…No way Crapillac would be foolish enough to remind the public of what once was…

        Recently visited museum of speed, took in the glory of a Dusenberg Model J. One of the finest automobiles ever made…Nobody will ever say that about any Cadillac made after 1976.

        It has been over 40 years since Cadillac has made something special.

        • 0 avatar
          JimZ

          it’s not like Cadillac made anything from 1973-1976 worth talking about either. unless you think 180 horsepower from 500 cubic inches is something to be proud of.

          • 0 avatar
            nickoo

            Jim, I’m in agreement with you. I originally had stated 73 but switched to 76, because 77 was the year of the GM downsizing and death of the unique branded engines, and ultimately one of the most significant years in the long slow march to GM and the American auto industry’s death.

          • 0 avatar
            NoGoYo

            I like the 74-76 Eldorado, especially with color-keyed wheel cover centers.

          • 0 avatar
            JimZ

            “because 77 was the year of the GM downsizing and death of the unique branded engines,”

            The 368 stuck around until ’81, then was replaced by the rushed HT4100 family exclusive to Cadillac. So what exactly are you talking about.

          • 0 avatar
            nickoo

            JimZ i am talking about the start of the phase out of unique engines for caddy pontiac olds and buick and replacement with chevy engines or shared engines between brands. Yes it is true that it happened over a period of years, but if I recall, 77 was the first year it started.

    • 0 avatar
      WheelMcCoy

      @heavey handle – “Not as stupid as it’s made-out to be.”

      I visited a Porsche “popup” store in the NYC meat packing district (now very trendy). Attractive hostesses introduced me to kiosks with headphones where I listened and watched some Porsche history. There was the “sound experience” booth where I listened to the engine and watched scenery go by. Little toy models and Porsche trinkets were for sale. Designer water was complimentary. And I got to sit in a few models parked outside.

      It’s called a “popup” store because it’s gone in 2 weeks. I, too, feel it’s something only car guys appreciate, although there were enough other distractions for those not into cars… meaning, sure, bring along a date or spouse. Brilliant or terrible, GM has nothing to lose by doing something similar.

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        “Brilliant or terrible, GM has nothing to lose by doing something similar.”

        It’s beyond terrible, but Cadillac can’t help itself, in an obsessive quest to continuously one-up itself in a strategy of complete lunacy born of desperation.

    • 0 avatar

      Nissan has such a place in their HQ for God’s sake- very futuristic and modern as everything in Japan. Let alone Europe or even Moscow. I do not see what all that crap on this thread is about. Very childish comments. Just waste of bytes. Probably people on this thread never been in other countries.

      • 0 avatar
        brenschluss

        Nissan is not relying on a coffee shop to save their luxury brand.

      • 0 avatar
        stuki

        It’s a once-were “Standard of The World” auto maker. Who currently is unable to make an auto that anyone wants. And instead of even trying, they spend their limited resources hawking handbags, overpriced coffee, childish “we’re told it’s art” and cheap perfume. In the middle of a town that has become nothing more than an insult, to all that the America that made Cadillac the Standard of the World once represented.

        Japan never suffered from the idiotic vacuity that is post 1975 New York. At least not for more than about 5 years, before that bubble self corrected.

        While Europeans have been wearing skinny jeans for so long they haven’t produced testosterone for generations. Hence just diligently do what they’re told. Cheer for any old nonsense they’re told by their “leaders” to cheer for.

        Note to Cadillac: Either produce cars that are “The Standard of the World” again. Or die trying.

        • 0 avatar
          JimZ

          Cadillac’s problem is they listened to enthusiasts like us. We told them what a modern luxury car should be, so they built them. Then we bought used BMWs and Audis instead. Now we’re telling Lincoln they should do the same thing.

          Sites like TTAC and Jalopnik are full of people most automakers are wise enough to ignore. Cadillac is Exhibit A for what can go wrong when you actually listen to them. Exhibit B is, of course, the FR-S/BRZ.

  • avatar
    VenomV12

    HA HA HA, well at least we know Melody Lee still has a job. Cadillac, good grief.

  • avatar
    Corollaman

    My local Lexus dealer has a cafe, beauty salon and masseuse services, happy endings are not available.

    • 0 avatar
      qfrog

      IF you drive an IS250 and you are going in for piston installation then some rod handling is guaranteed. I doubt that a single head job will be performed during the procedure, at least not without extra payment. Your ending may or may not be happy (it is what you make of it) but at least you get some fresh lube for the road.

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    This article made my weekend!

    Thanks TTAC, but a special thanks to the “special” people running Cadillac!!!

    • 0 avatar
      JimZ

      I only had to read half the headline before I knew you’d be all over this.

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        Cadillac IS TROLLING me at this point.

        • 0 avatar
          runs_on_h8raide

          I feel the same way DW. It’s like the AI in the Matrix sending out Agent Smith to get Neo. Only Cadillac is sending out terrible ideas for you to smash with biting sarcasm. I always get a good laugh when I see a Cadillac article in here bc I know I’m in for some laughs provided by DW! lmao. This article didn’t disappoint.

  • avatar
    "scarey"

    @Cadillac- how about just building HIGH QUALITY cars that people can aspire to and actually DESIRE ? (Like you used to.)
    GM must be much sicker than I thought.

    • 0 avatar
      nickoo

      Build a quality desirable product?

      NO!

      We must open coffee shops to tell them how to feel.

    • 0 avatar
      Luke42

      The problem is that many high quality out there that have luxury features.

      I drove a 2016 Honda Civic Limited with the technology package, and it was everything I personally expect from a luxury car. And it is literally a Honda Civic.

      How can Cadillac make something special in a world where a Honda can make a luxurious Civic?

      P.S. This is like the problem Volvo faced when the rest of the industry started making safe cars. Brand differentiation gone.

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        I believe this to be true.

        It’s even more so the case now as, and this is no exaggeration, many Cadillacs (ATS, SRX/XT5) lost the foolishness in their ride quality that set them apart from more mainstream and affordable vehicles.

        A Ford Fusion (even in base form at 22k) has a more premium ride than a Cadillac ATS does.

        To add insult to injury, Cadillac further diminished their pretense at luxury by putting unrefined 4 cylinder motors and 6 cylinder motors (shared with Chevys, no less) into their vehicles.

        Even Cadillac’s styling inside and out is ho-hum.

        It’s well on its way to being a ruined brand if it’s not already there with the Escalade as its sole breadwinner (for now).

    • 0 avatar
      JimZ

      That’s what they’re trying to do. But the problem is that they listened to Internet Car People (like you) who never actually buy what they claim they would buy.

  • avatar
    George B

    Why put Cadillac coffee shops in Manhattan where few people drive instead of in Cadillac dealerships where coffee customers could actually buy a Cadillac and drive it home?

    The CT6 does look like a proper Cadillac from the House of Escalade. Like any GM product, it would be better if you could buy it with a LS V8.

    • 0 avatar
      JimZ

      because… um… New York or something?

      • 0 avatar
        qfrog

        Because this is a safe public place for that young professional woman to run to when this Serbian hitman is following her.

        https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/11/cadillac-drafting-new-dealer-incentive-program/

        The joke is on her, there is a no less populated place in NYC than a Cadillac cafe. This is exactly where he wants her to go for the perfect murder.

    • 0 avatar
      cwallace

      Because Melody and her team have given up actually getting people into Cadillacs, and have instead decided to focus on doing something that’ll net them an Advertising Age award before they all either jump ship or get fired.

      What on earth else could she put on her resume for her time at GM otherwise?

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        Also, the advertising agency Cadillac is now using is literally one of the worst firms in the advertising business, pumping out absolutely idiotic “Dare Bravely” & “The Arena” disconnected crap with lame Millennial Chick voiceover trash.

        Absolutely awful.

        I don’t believe advertising can save a company from mediocre or bad product (and insane pricing), but if one were to believe it has any impact at all, Cadillac’s advertising is only making things worse.

  • avatar
    GS 455

    A Cadillac coffee shop would be a wonderful way of reintroducing classic Cadillac names to the young hipsters. A “Calais” would be a French roast, “Eldorado” would be Colombian, “Seville” for Spanish Coffee, “Cimarron” would be rebadged Dunkin’ Donuts coffee……

  • avatar
    Fred

    This a great coffee experience, I think I’ll go check out their cars. [end of sarcasim]

  • avatar
    Jeff Waingrow

    I live in an area where a lot of well-to-do New Yorkers have second homes. And I can tell you one thing with certainty. None of them are ever driving Cadillacs. I mean, none.

    • 0 avatar

      I’m truly amazed how few Cadillac I see in the Green Leafy Burbs of Bergen, Westchester, Nassau and Fairfield.

      • 0 avatar
        Kenmore

        The percentage of those non-Cadillac drivers who were car-conscious Boomers spent their adolescence and early adulthood watching Cadillacs devolve onto leisure-suited plumbers.

        The resultant badge contempt is indelible. And younger people came of age with an ever growing number of demonstrably superior foreign options upon which they imprinted.

        Mr. Caddy, he dead.

        • 0 avatar

          Oh yeah. We even had a code word for it, Hats. As in, I’d have made it here sooner, but for major hats. Square headlight, malise era caddies, driven by the last generation to wear hats. Usually in full observance of the 55 mph limit, and driving stupidly before long before the invention of the cell phone. Landau roof, wire wheels, overstuffed leather. Hey, Vettes sucked back then too, but no one holds the C2 against them now….

          • 0 avatar
            Kenmore

            Heh… “major hats”. Suave.

            That’s the kind of gentle mockery we coots always suspect but never quite catch. It means at least some youngsters are keepers.

      • 0 avatar
        mcs

        I’m in the upscale suburbs north of Boston, and we see Cadillacs, but almost every single one of them has an LV livery plate. They’re upscale airport taxis. Who wants a luxury car that’s going to be mistaken for a taxi?

  • avatar
    SWA737

    The original plan was to have coture uniformed baristas writing trendy buzzwords on the cups, you know, to spark meaningful conversations.

    But then Corporate Accounting did the math, now they’re just going to have kiosks.

  • avatar
    Davekaybsc

    I gotta say, I’m with DW on this one. This is beyond stupid. They are SO obsessed with the Cadillac brand and what you think and what you feel when you hear the name Cadillac. What they seemingly have no interest in is FIXING. THE. DAMN. CARS.

    Seriously, how much money could it possibly cost to fix the literally worst in the entire industry gauge cluster in the ATS? Why don’t they worry about that instead of what their stupid coffee shop SMELLS LIKE? We already know that the perfectly adequate upper trim LCD gauges in the CTS work in the exact same space as the base trim cluster, SO MAKE THAT STANDARD, and you’ve already solved a significant problem with the ATS, CTS, and XTS, and apparently XT5 as well.

    Ford took heavy criticism for their terrible launch of MFT in 2011, and for their non-functional capacitive touch buttons. MFT is gone, and the touch buttons are gone. Cadillac took a similar beating over CUE. Still there in the XT5 and CT6, as are (most) of the touch buttons, with the exception of rocker switches for temperature and fan speed which I’m sure Cadillac interior designers had to be dragged into incorporating.

    Hey Cadillac, did you notice how Hyundai caught up to the Audi A8 with their second gen Equus/G90? Notice how they aren’t hemming and hawing about oh we’re not quite ready to take on the the full size class yet, so, I guess we’ll do the CT6, which is sort of a 5/E competitor but sort of not, because we also are competing with those cars with the CTS, which we’re going to sell AT THE SAME TIME as the CT6, so I guess the CT6 is sort of a half class up, but not really, it’s sort of the same but a bit better but the same. Hello, McFly? Anybody home? WTF kind of product strategy is this?

    Why isn’t the CT6 an A7, CLS, 6 GT competitor, which would clearly differentiate it from the CTS? Notice how Audi sells lots of A7s for lots more money than the A6, even though it’s basically the exact same product with a hatchback? Notice how Mercedes sells a more stylish but less practical E-class for a lot more money than the E-class? Notice how BMW takes two doors off of the 5 series to make the 6 series for a lot more money, and then they charge EVEN MORE to put the doors BACK ON for the 6 GT? Think it might be a good idea to go after that?

    NAH! We’ll launch a midsize 5/E competitor, and then TWO YEARS LATER, we’ll launch ANOTHER ONE! With enormous pricing overlap! We don’t know what we’re doing! Come get some coffee!

    Oh hey Cadillac, here’s one more thing for you. Crossover count: Acura -2, Audi -3, BMW -3(plus coupe versions), Infiniti -3, Lexus -2, Lincoln -3, Mercedes -4 (plus a coupe) Volvo -2.

    Cadillac -1. But don’t even sweat it guys, you’ve only had since 1998 to figure out that this was going to be an explosive growth segment. It’s cool, take as long as you need. The industry will wait until you’re ready.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      Preach it, ma brother!

      Cadillac literally can’t be shamed enough.

      • 0 avatar
        Davekaybsc

        It’s amazing. Infiniti went so far as to just buy a Mercedes and slap their body and interior on it to be able to compete in a hot segment. BMW is already on the second generation of its compact crossover. LINCOLN is beating them. Freaking VOLVO launched a world class 3-row crossover that’s better than the aging GLS, and right up there with Audi’s best.

        Cadillac? Can’t be bothered. We’ll compete with the RX350, and not show up for the rest. We’ve got to focus on our cars that no one buys, and how cool we can make our coffee shop. We’ll ask 100% of the price for cars that are 70% there, adamantly refuse to lower prices because the best way to build a luxury brand is to charge all the money and then just wait for people to eventually be willing to pay that money (said no one ever), and then promptly lower prices once sales implode like a star going supernova. Success!

        • 0 avatar
          Zykotec

          These two comments really make me think that Cadillac isn’t all that bad. Cadillac isn’t just a completely fake brand that has somehow won over a bunch of customer on their second attempt at making a luxury car, after making turds for 30 years (Hyundai and Kia both still share the oval badge from when they made Fords on license)
          Cadillac doesn’t chop two doors off a car, then demand more money to put them back on again, Cadillac doesn’t charge more to make one of their own cars uglier, and thay don’t have any ‘fake’ coupes as far as I remember. Their only SUV is an actual truck, not just a stationwagon with a lift-kit etc.
          OK, Cadillac is not by far anything like it was in 1965 when Mercedes finally made the ultimate luxury car with all the money and engineering germany had at the time (and charging about the same sum to sell it )
          and they have sure sold some utter crap since, like most of the other brands, btu this coffe shop thing, is still not even nearly as stupid and cynical as what the other brands are doing every day, successfully.
          I don’t know what Cadillac needs to do to get a renaissance, but realizing who their actual competitors are or who their customers are, would help them a bit.

    • 0 avatar
      JimZ

      The borderline aspie screeds about the ATS’s gauge cluster are hilarious. If you believe *that* is why the ATS isn’t selling, then I have some prime real estate on Mars I’m sure I can interest you in buying.

    • 0 avatar
      yamahog

      You’re right on the money.

      The only time Cadillac had something going for them was when they gave you ‘more car’. Remember in the mid/late-2000s the CTS was priced against the 3 series but offered more power and 5 series interior volume?

      That was a winning combination. For the price of a 328, you could get a 300 horsepower caddy with 5 series space. Now, Cadillac is trying to charge a premium (in price and not making deals) that only Lexus and Mercedes really pull. And even now, Lexus is making deals on their cars. And I think Mercedes is cutting deals on their midrange cars. They’re not cutting deals on the S class and the CLA.

      But cars are irrelevant. CUVs are where the money is. Lexus slaps some badges and an interior on the Highlander and charges an extra 15-20k? And oh by the way, top of the line highlanders can be made in Japan and the gas RXs are made in Canada so it’s probable that the Highlander Limiteds are higher quality? But that doesn’t matter to the 50 year olds who buy RXs to look successful to 35-50 year olds who aspire to spend enough money to impress the remaining people in the cohort.

      And the RX is successful because Lexus doesn’t really burn its customers. Go ask someone who has a broken nav system in their SRX (and a $2,000 repair bill) with 50k miles if they’re buying another Cadillac. They aren’t.

  • avatar
    skor

    Might be a good idea, if they had a few reserved parking spaces out front….which they don’t because it’s Manhattan…..and they offered free parking/drinks/food to owners of well kept classic Cadillacs. Otherwise I must agree that their methods have become unsound.

  • avatar

    A Caddy coffee bar ? Does it have an Earlybird Special ? Will it be full of Seniors nursing one coffee for two hours ? Tanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the Veal.

    I used to live on the Isle of the Manhattoes. No one drives, except to escape to the shore/woods/hills-I think Caddy is taking the BMW/ART thing too far. Dear Caddy: The BMW art thing is pretentious crap and probably serves a purpose for the social schedules of top shareholders, but not much else. Don’t copy it. Can’t say it sells cars….

    If you want buzz, set up those tiny track day things like BMW. Get folks over to a stadium parking lot, hire a few between jobs real race car drivers, and send out invites. Based on the reactions of most invitees, who in BMW’s case are badge buyers, people will be AMAZED what a properly options ATS/CTS can do. (When I got my turn in the 2 series, the other folks were surprised, and the instructor said ‘I see you’ve Autocrossed before”-for the record, the 2 Track Pack is real BMW)

    I will attend and report. This is gonna be good, or at least funny.
    .

  • avatar

    Perhaps since Cadillac sales took such a nosedive last month (DOWN a whopping 28.9%!!!), Johan, Uwe, Melody and the rest of the Soho Gang are trying to generate extra revenue to make up for their collectively dismal performance in marketing automobiles. Imagine how much more interesting “the first CT6” would have been if launched as “the next DeVille” instead. How soon before Mary Barra wakes up and sends the cappuccino swilling millenials packing and brings this ridiculous roadshow back to Detroit, where it belongs.

    • 0 avatar
      mcs

      What they really need to do is hope that VW sells the Bentley name, then put away the Cadillac name for a while. Then try not to screw up the Bentley brand.

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      I agree with you, but it will probably take another crisis before GM reins in the Soho asininity. Until then RenCen will probably continue to piss away its profits on a vision that’s a really a mirage.

  • avatar
    Big Al from Oz

    Deadweight is at it again, which if one looks at his comments it is understandable. Thanks DW for your entertainment.

    DW, did Cadillac once employ you?

    This cafe or as you ‘Muricans’ call the cafe (not be confused with CAFE) kaw’fee shop is nice, if the espressos, flat whites and lattes are any good.

    Here in Australia we cafes serving up espressos in Bunnings (similar to Lowes/The Home Depot). So, I don’t really see much wrong with a good coffee when and wherever you are.

    But, the Kinks Andy Warhol sh!t I can’t believe.

    Caddy only has one vehicle that is worthy of being a Caddy, that is the Escalade Silverado Station Wagon thingy.

    This is purely an American style luxo barge, cheaply made, huge, with poor handling with even poorer FE.

    This is where Caddy lost it. How can a name like Caddy who have traditionally built poor quality interpretations of luxury since WWII try and compete against names like BMW and Mercedes Benz, which is synoynmous with real luxury, prestige, performance and a regarded as a precision instrument and not just some basic GM hack fitted with massive bling and called luxury or worse, the above rendition of a Silverado pickup station wagon sold at a ridiculous price.

    True luxury, prestige and performance is engineered and designed from the ground up. Caddy has attempted to do this, but like FCA it has a reputation. This Caddy reputation will be hard to break.

    Caddy isn’t cutting it, so dissolve it and GM use the HSV name to bring some prestige and performance with a good profit margin. HSV is known for performance, all that is needed is too enhance the prestige part.

    Let Australia design GMs performance and prestige vehicles, I do believe I’d rather own a Chev SS than a Caddy any day of the week. It’s more ‘Murican in concept than a Caddy, except for that Silverado Escalade.

    • 0 avatar
      MrGreenMan

      That Escalade Silverado Station Wagon Thingy EXT is one hot ride.

    • 0 avatar
      Hummer

      I’d just like to point out, the Escalade gets better fuel economy than the Chevrolet SS, and also has more power than the SS.

      And that is not a hit on the SS.

      • 0 avatar
        Big Al from Oz

        Hummer,
        Why don’t you apply some logic first, ie, similar engines between SS and Escalade. At worst they will have similar FE, very similar. Until you want to drive using more acceleration or push the brick like Escalade through the air at a great rate of knots.

        SS ========== 15/21 mpg EPA

        http://www.caranddriver.com/chevrolet/ss

        Escalade ==== 15/21 mpg EPA

        http://www.caranddriver.com/cadillac/escalade

        So, I would figure under normal driving situation the SS will be frugal in comparison to the Escalade. As illustrated below;

        http://www.fuelly.com/car/chevrolet/ss

        http://www.fuelly.com/car/cadillac/escalade

      • 0 avatar
        Big Al from Oz

        Oh, I forgot in real life terms there is around 5mpg difference between the SS and the Escalade.

        When you are talking 13-14mpg to 17-20mpg that’s a huge difference in FE.

    • 0 avatar
      carrya1911

      “Regarded”.

      In other words, “successful marketing”

  • avatar

    Take away the new age PRspeak of Melody Lee and the idea of a Cadillac showroom, as opposed to a dealership, in Manhattan (and other major cities like Tokyo, London, Paris, Beijing) is a pretty good idea. Include some vintage stuff as well as recent concepts. Sell Cadillac related accessories, toys and apparel. Refer prospective customers to their nearest dealer.

    If Lexus or Mercedes opened up a showcase in LA or NYC my guess is that the same people criticizing Cadillac for this would treat it as business as usual.

    A while back Audi spent what I estimate at six figures to have Dave Beattie’s Slot Mods build a high end slot car track into a trailer that they displayed in Toronto briefly, and then stuck it in a warehouse.

    The cost to GM is relatively minimal, they’re already leasing the building and the project is already generating publicity. Sites like TTAC are spelling Cadillac correctly. I’m sure that Jalopnik, being based in Manhattan, will cover the June 2nd opening.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      Sorry, but it reeks of more desperation, will do zero to help Cadillac sales or image, and more importantly, makes those running Cadillac (accurately) appear to be even more clueless, insular & incompetent as to how to manage anything, let alone a motor vehicle division that is trying to achieve a reputation for premium-ness that outranks Genesis (let alone Audi or BMW – and not even in the same universe as Mercedes).

    • 0 avatar
      mcs

      “Lexus or Mercedes opened up a showcase in LA or NYC my guess is that the same people criticizing Cadillac for this would treat it as business as usual.”

      That gets back to the brand reputation issues. When you’re attempting to rebuild a brand, the rules are different. What they need to do is to make the current Cadillac line Chevrolets, then turn Cadillac engineering loose with an edict to build the best with no constraints on what the ultimate selling price might be. If that results in a Ciel that costs $800,000, then so be it. After a decade of that, then you’ve got a brand that people will get excited about. They should also re-establish Fisher Body as a builder of premium interiors and offer it as an upgrade to Chevrolet after having them build superpremium Cadillac interiors for a while.

    • 0 avatar

      I can only guess that they are doing what BMW does in Berlin. On the K’Damm, the main shopping center of Berlin, there is a BMW showroom, with seating, art and wifi. The staff is extremely good looking, speaks every language that comes in, and is very knowledgeable about the product. They don’t sell cars (or coffee) there, but the idea is that you’d do the front end in a low stress setting, decide exactly which plaid you want on your Individual Seats, chat with the really pretty girl, or equally hot boy, and then go to a BMW center to actually order the thing, and wait for the Individual build. Samples of everything are there, much like a bespoke tailor. Compare and contrast-decide among fifteen shades of brown, (one matte !), off actual painted panels.

      Repairs, shops, etc. are buried in an industrial part of town, as I learned one day buying a euro catalog only Honda CRX Spoiler for a friend.

      Germans buy cars for cash, mostly, as a planned purchase. I see how the fancy non-sales showroom fits well into that sales model, but is adverse to the “Can I get you into this car TODAY at $399 per month” sales model.

      I’ll make it a point to go….I’ve done every BMW event I’ve been invited to, so I have some context……

  • avatar
    Kenmore

    Melody just needs some Happy Helmets to make people feel “what you’re supposed to feel from the Cadillac brand”. Badge the helmets, forget the cars.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      Melody’s rightful place is with Jason Wu in the fashion space.

      This criticism has nothing to do with her gender, but is rooted in the firm observation that she clearly cares and has passion for fashion and branding in such a lopsided way that it literally makes her appear to view the actual product designing and manufacturing of motor vehicles as “icky.”

      And Uwe Ellinghaus really is disconnected from vehicle design and manufacturing to the point where one could be forgiven for assuming those actually responsible for making the actual vehicles are beneath him, also.

      I realize that Melody & Uwe are marketers (allegedly, and as to how terrible is a topic ripe for debate), but they’re so far removed from and feigning disinterest (and even hostility) at the process of vehicle design and manufacturing that they seem simply “bothered” by even having to touch upon the mere mention of design and manufacturing.

      Successful branding of product is done by people who want to understand the design and manufacturing history, heritage and process of building the actual product; these two are grossed out by those topics, preceding to spend time at NYC Fashion Week and in uttering gibberish sloganeering.

  • avatar
    anomaly149

    There are companies that “scent” musical performances?

    What?

    Also, the best way to make yourself a good luxury brand is to produce good product (for a long time) and have a consistent, competent marketing message/product mantra. Daimler has been “the best or nothing” since the 1890s, and however you feel about their 80s diesels, they’re living that mantra today. Cadillac should have kept, and then strove for, “the standard of the world.” “Dare greatly” is just idiotic.

    And their website is a dumpster fire, GM should fire their web designers and hire someone with eyes.

    • 0 avatar
      mcs

      >> And their website is a dumpster fire, GM should fire their web designers and hire someone with eyes.

      You’re right. OMG. What were they thinking?

    • 0 avatar
      DC Bruce

      Their 80’s diesels established the brands reputation for durability and longevity that has withstood some questionable decisions since then. Yes, the 240D was underpowered, even for the era of the 55 mph speed limit, but they run forever. The 300D and especially the 300SD are wonderful highway cruisers, even at today’s speeds.

  • avatar
    Jeff S

    Improve the customer service and the dealer experience. Take a page from the Lexus book. When something goes wrong with a vehicle fix it without a hassle. The product does not have to be perfect but the service experience needs to be. You can offer a good coffee bar, free wireless, and decent chairs to sit in at the service department. Also if the customer is waiting the service department needs to give the customer an update and by all means pull the vehicle up to the customer once the service is completed. A customer should not have to go around the dealer lot hunting for their vehicle.

  • avatar
    "scarey"

    I had to read the entire comment section *twice* before it hit me.
    CADILLAC IS GOING TO QUIT THE CAR BUSINESS AND ENTER THE COFFEE BUSINESS !
    How ingenious of them ! Who could screw up COFFEE ? …Not even GENERAL MOTORS !…and there is SO MUCH money to be made SO EASILY !…just ask StarBUCKS !…
    This is just the prototype…
    Wait- Chevrolet could become a chain of …no- JUST BUY DOMINO’S or PIZZA HUT !…OMG !

    BUICK COULD BUY TACO BELL !…OR KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN !

    PURE GENIOUS !…No more RECALLS !…No more stinking NHTSA or DOT to answer to ! …Just the local Health Inspectors !

    DARE GREATLY ! BOO-RAH !!!

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      THIS is the “Cadillac” that is bold, beautiful Cadillac, that makes red-blooded males’ hearts beat faster:

      http://www.chron.com/cars/article/Entrepreneur-vintage-obsessed-5427408.PHP

      Johan’s “Cadillac,” in terms of both product and marketing, is a bizarre enterprise, corporate “game-planned” in some marketing & advertising conference rooms, chasing some mythical millennial generation, who care less and less about motor vehicles, and have less and less disposable income to buy them even if they did care

    • 0 avatar
      TMA1

      Buick should buy KFC, they’re both everywhere in China, the country that gives each brand a continued reason to exist.

  • avatar
    turf3

    Even though I’m a city boy, I’m still a Texan, and “Branding” only means one thing to me…

    Red hot iron and sizzling flesh.

    Actually I think it might be interesting to subject some of the Millennials, lame-ass little wankers that they are, to some actual “branding” – no MBAs required or desired. I know y’all have tattoos and piercings, let’s see how you hold up under what every steer calf copes with.

    Sometimes I do believe advertising, and the idea that reality only consists of advertising campaigns, will be the death of Western Civilization. But that’s when I’m feeling optimistic.

  • avatar
    Johnster

    This sounds like they’re copying the “Galpin Ford Horseless Carriage Restaurant” in North Hills in the San Fernando Valley outside of L.A.

    I’ll bet that New Yawk Cadillac restaurant doesn’t have a Sriracha Angus Sourdough Burger.

  • avatar
    Brumus

    Too lazy (and too many PBR pounders) to read all the posts, but I assume there is the usual Caddy hate out in droves.

    The girl I’m seeing now bought a BMW X5 off-lease, and this thing is an appalling POS. (Fuel pump, power windows and sundry other electrical gremlins.)

    Why is the slant-6 so reliable/bulletproof? I Loved my old Valiant…

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      Cool story* bro!

      *That has absolutely nothing to do with Cadillac’s plunging sales, terrible marketing, insane promotional campaigns targeting hipsters (who don’t know a Hyundai from a Cadillac), and the real time ruination & death watch of Cadillac.

  • avatar
    Jeff S

    The coffee bar concept is a waste of time and resources. Those who will go to this bar will be less interested in the Cadillac brand and more interested in a triple latte or a frappuccino. This will be about as effective as the early Infinity commercials that showed pussy willows without showing the car. This concept is likely to confuse some people who will think it is part of the Cadillac Bar and Grill and not the Cadillac Automobile brand. Lincoln might have a chance to overtake Cadillac if this is Cadillac’s brilliant new strategy.

    GM would be better to kill the Cadillac brand than waste resources doing this. The money would be better spent improving and upgrading Buick. Bring out a new Buick Rivera with a rear wheel drive V-8 with the Corvette engine and a new Roadmaster rear wheel drive with a V-8 with a bench seat and a cushy ride. While they are at it make the Escalade a Buick and model the service and dealer experience along the lines of Lexus. Don’t try to compete with Mercedes or BMW but compete with Lexus with a better more luxurious product at a slightly lower price. They can use this model in China as well since Buick is considered a more premium brand in China than Cadillac.

  • avatar
    CitroenXM

    Why attempt to market a car in a city where even people on $200,000 per annum don’t own cars? LA makes much more sense for the brand.

  • avatar
    dwford

    When people think of Cadillac, they think of the huge, powerful, luxurious boats of 40-50 years ago, then they see the reality of Cadillac today with bland $50k 4 cylinder cars with small interiors. Total mismatch, Cadillac needs to go upmarket, stop trying to compete with the regular luxury brands. Then GM should expand Buick into a full line luxury brand.

    And cut the coffee shop nonsense. It’s just stupid.

    • 0 avatar
      Hydromatic

      Mercedes, BMW and Audi respect their pasts and pay homage to their past glories, but they don’t try to live off them. They push forward by creating appealing and innovative luxury products without getting bogged down in the past. Lexus doesn’t really have a past to get bogged down in, so it’s a bit different.

      So Cadillac living off the past glories of those 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s-era boats seems ridiculous. But that’s what the B&B here want. Somehow, I don’t think that’s gonna work.

      But what Cadillac’s doing now isn’t working, either. Something’s gotta give and soon.

  • avatar
    Jeff S

    Agree, Cadillac needs to go either upmarket or just get axed. A coffee bar is not going to do anything to help sell Cadillacs. My mother and her generation (the Greatest Generation) was the car to aspire to. My mother had a 72 Cadillac Sedan DeVille hardtop with the 472 cubic inch engine. The Caddy was a great interstate cruiser but it would get 8 mpgs. The old V-8’s in those Cadillac’s would run forever. Cadillac can get by with a V-6 but a turbo charged 4 cylinder is a hard sell.

    • 0 avatar
      dwford

      At least the Germans have a history of selling smaller engines and diesels. Cadillac customers are walking in going, “I’m paying how much for what??”

      They’ve been trying to Europeanize Cadillac for 35 years – it’s not working and each new generation of Cadillacs seems to be making things worse.

      Cadillacs need to look big, authoritative, powerful, rich. The current lineup is the exact opposite of all that, Escalade excepted.

  • avatar
    Trend-Shifter

    The coffee shop concept could work if it was in locations that got more exposure and that exposure was people with $$$.

    I would look at a coffee shops in key airports, amusement parks, attractions, etc.

    Create a theme…
    Maybe have new car models mounted on the wall at 90 degrees that can be easily changed to keep the model line current. Then on the main floor of the coffee shop have the theme be Cadillac history as the “standard of the world” so nothing in the coffee shop needs to be changed.
    If the coffee shop model could be implemented and be self-sufficient without financial loss it would be perfect. Maybe have it run as a franchise.
    Then the only cost is changing the cars from time to time. The cars that are removed can be serviced and sold as used cars.
    Cadillac could have a contest for coffee shop patrons only to give away some of these cars. You could rotate the timing to when each coffee shop would give away a car and make it a big press event each time. Have coffee, win a car!

    Cadillac needs to end all this NYC nonsense.
    The world is bigger than NYC.
    They would probably be more successful if they regularly visited places like Hong Kong, China, Europe, and the rest of the United States. Then came back to good ole Detroit and get the job done.

    • 0 avatar
      mcs

      Except, where I live, people with $$$ get exposed to Cadillac as a livery car. Basically, an airport taxi for when you go on a business or pleasure trip. Would you aspire to own something used as a form of upscale public transportation? “Are you going somewhere?” “No, we bought this for ourselves. We always wanted an airport taxi of our own.”

  • avatar
    Pch101

    It’s probably neither brilliant nor terrible.

    It’s not an expensive effort — setting it up will probably cost less than 30 seconds of airtime for a Super Bowl ad, and one would hope that it can at least break even on the operations while providing the marketing that is intended.

    I have my doubts that it will accomplish much, but you can file this one under “can’t hurt to try.” Some of the comments that are whining about it here are just over the top.

    • 0 avatar
      mcs

      Maybe Melody Lee will move her desk down there. :^)

    • 0 avatar
      ajla

      “Some of the comments that are whining about it here are just over the top.”

      We’re just having some fun with it.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      This is a two-prong program: Cadillac To Open Beverly Hills Esthetics Spa

      Cadillac Motor Coach & Horseless Carriage PLLC will soon open a 12,000 square foot esthetics spa, where, in the words of Cadillac’s all-things-couture Melody CT Lee, “[W]e will pamper customers with colonics, mindfulness, Zen & yoga classes, 4-foot kale purges (where customers swallow 4 feet of special kale tape, and ultimately pass it, pulling toxins with it from their GI tract), detritus eating piranhas in feet fish tubs, aromatherapy, Kombucha & Kefir fermentation stations, white rooms, and other cleansing treatments.”

      Uwe Ellinghaus & Melody Lee have received approval for “ample funding” from GM CEO Mary Barra to launch this Cadillac CTLife Spa, and the program has been strongly endorsed by Johan de Nysschen, who when asked to comment, stated “[W]by the hell not?,” and “[W]hatever…f#ck it.”

  • avatar
    Lightspeed

    Oh good lord. The way to do something like this is shut the hell up that you’re doing it. Just open the cafe and if it’s done right and gathers some momentum, fine. If not quietly close it. As soon as you put that news release out, you’ve blown any hope for credibility or ‘buzz’ or whatever. Caddy finally makes some very attractive cars that are great performers and then try too hard to be cool.

  • avatar
    el scotto

    Cadillac needs to offer 6 year/60,000 mile free maintenance and 12 year/120,000 bumper to bumper warranty (except tires, wiper blades, and brake pads). Then they need to advertise this; heavily. Standard of The World? Our warranty proves it.

    • 0 avatar
      derekson

      People don’t buy luxury cars for the warranty. In fact, most are leased anyway. They’d be better served investing that money into fixing the cheaper details that ruin what are otherwise perfectly good cars, like the shitty gauge clusters and some cheap feeling plastic switchgear and such.

  • avatar
    Whittaker

    Artsy/NY connections will pay dividends when the next GM bailout/bankruptcy arrives.
    The clueless elite are always eager to show their compassion by urging the Govt, to “save” the jobs of the dull blue-collared mid-westerners…who only want solidarity and a new bowling ball.

  • avatar
    carguy67

    PMD will on this in 3, 2, 1, …

  • avatar
    cartunez

    Offer a lifetime warranty on all parts except wear and tear and cover all required maintenance including alignment and wheel balancing. Pick a fair price to market the product(s) and have no haggle pricing. GM needs to put up or shut up regarding Cadillac and this would be the best way to prove it.

  • avatar
    Luke42

    The more I think about this, the more it seems like one of those exercises that marketers go through to understand their own brand…

    Or to convince others in the organization that they know what they’re talking about.

    Fun!

  • avatar
    VenomV12

    Dealership in town just got a fully loaded Platinum CT6 delivered. I went this morning and grabbed the door handle and sure enough, the same nasty cheap mechanism that all the new Cadillacs have. Go grab and pull the door handle of a Hyundai Genesis which cost half as much and see how nice and premium it feels and how smoothly it pulls out and retracts and then do the same with a CTS or CT6. Literally the first thing a potential customer touches and they can’t get that right. Considering it has reclining seats the interior doesn’t look that big, looks about 5 series/E-Class size, about what the CTS should have been in the first place.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      “Dealership in town just got a fully loaded Platinum CT6 delivered. I went this morning and grabbed the door handle and sure enough, the same nasty cheap mechanism that all the new Cadillacs have. Go grab and pull the door handle of a Hyundai Genesis which cost half as much and see how nice and premium it feels and how smoothly it pulls out and retracts and then do the same with a CTS or CT6. ”

      That’s the result of General Motors “One Global” supplier alienation program, which literally at least implicitly tells suppliers not to bother bidding on any GM vehicle components unless they can match the cheapest bid price GM can get out of the lowest-cost Chinese bid at any given time.

      This results in a cheapness and hollowness that permeates all of GM’s vehicles once one truly inspects them, racks up the miles in them, and the new sheen wears off.

      I’ve been attacked personally so many times and in so many ways for pointing out this fact that I’ve lost count and really don’t even care anymore, but this fact is captured in the very thing you mention about the 2015+ MY Hyundai Genesis (and other lesser priced vehicles, too): a $35,000 real world price 2016 Hyundai Genesis feels twice as solid, built-to-last and better quality than a more expensive ATS, much more expensive CTS, and the new CT6 and XT5.

  • avatar
    Jeff S

    I don’t think most of the comments are whining, it is just not going to get Cadillac where they need to be. Cadillac needs to create a better customer service environment for a start as does Lincoln. A few strategically placed products that would not be shared with other GM divisions is another step. Lattes and spas are not going to gain Cadillac any noticeable sales. Maybe a few will go take advantage of the coffee bar and the spa but they will probably be driving to and from in their Mercedes, BMWs, Audis, and Lexus and still buy the same brand again without even going to a Cadillac dealership to test drive a Cadillac. There are few products with a wow factor to drive customers into a Cadillac dealership and the service department lacks uniformity to insure consistent quality and a positive customer service. There might be a few good dealerships but there is nothing to insure that the quality of service is excellent across the board. The name Cadillac use to stand for the best quality available. An outstanding health plan is called a Cadillac plan.

    • 0 avatar
      Kenmore

      “An outstanding health plan is called a Cadillac plan.”

      Strangest thing is that phrase still has currency among younger health care professionals who I know drive the usual snobbish imports. My provider’s plan is superb and I’ve used that phrase without eliciting the slightest hint of irony or a smirk when they agree with it.

      It’s almost as if there is an unspoken pact among those who would *never* buy a new Cadillac to, in this one narrow vein, honor the name’s former legitimacy and prestige.

      • 0 avatar
        derekson

        I think the problem is that the word as “the best/fanciest of X” just isn’t directly associated with the brand anymore.

        Hell, they potentially would do well to show some confidence in their advertising and use the slogan “The Cadillac of Cars” in order to reappropriate this term for their own brand image.

    • 0 avatar
      bunkie

      I’ve said this before: The Cadillac dealership experience in Manhattan is uniformly *awful*. It was a major factor in our decision to replace our CTS wagon with something else. Currently, service at the only Manhattan dealership takes place at a makeshift location (the third in the last ten years) located on E123rd Street with a Hyundai dealer on one side and some trash-filled empty lots across the street. There is no waiting room, just a grubby area where you have to stand while they retrieve your car. By Comparison, the BMW and MB dealerships are beautiful spaces with comfy lounges that make you feel appreciated.

    • 0 avatar
      laserwizard

      Cadihack needs fewer models with more exclusivity. Right now the only thing that is special about a Cadihack over Chevrolet is the sticker price and the additional tacky LED lights.

  • avatar
    05lgt

    In the USN, I heard mop buckets with wheels and a built in wringer called Cadillacs. Didn’t inspire me to strive for a GM with a fancy logo. If they could concentrate on a seriously upscale interior, longevity and a top notch dealership/service experience for a decade the brand might grow to mean something. They’re striving to regain the sweet profits of the years they spent ruining the brand by charging a premium without providing anything but a badge in return. You can’t skip the part where you build the reputation and jump straight to F|_|CK!ng the customer.

  • avatar
    jimbob457

    I can’t wait to have a cup of expresso and buy a Cadillac.

  • avatar
    bunkie

    I have to put in a recommendation for Yoko Ono’s heart-wrenchingly beautiful album ‘Season of Glass’.

  • avatar
    carrya1911

    I would dearly love to spend a week inside the bubble that Ms. Lee lives in.

  • avatar
    Jaeger

    That whole post made me laugh out loud. What’s ironic about this transparent piece of manufactured snobbery is that the comical foppishness of it all takes attention away from the fact that Cadillac’s products are now pretty damned good across the board.

  • avatar
    CoreyDL

    I don’t think I can be bothered to read through all these comments (so many). Bearing in mind the coffee shop is on the ground floor of their own office, I don’t see much problem with it being Cadillac themed. It would be different if they went four blocks away and did a standalone Cadillac Coffee or something.

    They were likely to have a coffee shop for their offices anyway, so now it’s Cadillac instead of a Sodexho Jazzman’s.

  • avatar
    Nick 2012

    As luck would have it, a stunning black ’53 Sixty Special pulled into the local ice cream stand last night where me and my 2 boys were enjoying some soft-serve.

    After the stately beast slid into parking spot, with its chrome bumpers and stubby tailfins glinting in in the setting sun, a gentleman not much older than the car got out with his grandkids. My 5 and 3 year olds squealed with delight and a murmur went through the crowd.

    No one needed Melody Lee or her band of safe-space dwelling “Fab Four” trons to create a lifestyle-brand-image-luxury-cuddle-cloud of made up “supposed to” feelings.

    The Sixty Special spoke for itself. No modern Cadillac will inspire the same feelings in 60 years.

    http://wardsauto.com/industry/fab-four-intend-put-hop-cadillac-s-step?page=1

  • avatar
    laserwizard

    Maybe Cadihack can figure out how to add tacky led lights to its latte’s and make them taste as badly as their vehicles are cramped for adults to ride in.

    And then they can sell their blandest coffee in a plain white paper cup and call it the Seedy Six Cafe Snotte.

    The idiots over at GMI loves them some Seedy Six. They love junk priced at $80k with an interior of a 1999 Hyundai.

  • avatar
    mmreeses

    Cadillac should be HQ’d in LA/Westwood. Not NYC. LA is a drivers’ town. Manhattan is an island detached from all reality that doesn’t car about driving.

  • avatar
    dukeisduke

    Another lame attempt by Melody Lee at getting Millennials to care about Cadillac. Keep trying.

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      The finished product (and probably internal processes) coming from RenCen is/are too dysfunctional for the “market” so someone thought marketing would be an answer hence the triumvirate of marketeer morons. Looks like its not working too well for them, and the budget probably doesn’t allow for much at this point. However what’s a year’s lease on a coffee shop plus employees? $500K? $1M? Can’t be too much, even in NYC. I imagine much cheaper than spending 3-5m million on new commercials plus airtime since “Dare Greatly” has worked out so well.

  • avatar

    what in the actual fuck

    is this real life?

  • avatar

    I get the feeling that de Nysschen, Ellinghaus, Lee, Tan, Lebard and Brannigan already hail themselves as Legends in their Own Minds.

    TAKAD, aka The Autoextremist Known As DeLorenzo did his nasty dissection of Cadillac marketing: http://www.autoextremist.com/

    My letter in response:

    “I grew up in ithe NYC suburbs, where a Cadillac was the aspirational car of self-made men, several in my own family. They were the children of poor immigrants who came here through Ellis Island and set their roots close by. This is why I was initially thrilled about Cadillac coming here. I thought being in this market might give them a feel for the history, the promise and the challenge of what was America’s greatest Postwar car brand.

    “I was naive enough to believe the proximity to Cadillac lore might bring positive outcomes for the brand.

    “I knew I was wrong when Cadillac chose its real estate. I can understand avoiding another corporate campus in New Jersey or Long Island. But congested SoHo? That area was “over” 10 years ago. How about the resurgent Brooklyn Navy Yard, a once-great industrial hub vital to our World War II victory? They make TV shows and movies there, along with beer, 3-D printers and artisanal whatever. There’s enough road for ride & drives with lifestyle publications as well as motor-noters. Perfect for what Cadillac is going after.

    “Made sense, right? Not to these self-absorbed dopes. Not only do they not get it, they don’t care. I feel bad for many people that will be hurt by this $12 billion disaster in the making. I hope the CEO and President are ultimately held accountable.”

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