By on April 4, 2016

rolling

If our comments and emails are any indication, TTAC readers are by and large very sane and sensible men who make sound choices based on reliable data.

You’re family men with minivans and bachelors who have CUVs just in case they meet the right girl on eHarmony. You’re introverts who don’t like bright colors. You’re engineers and programmers who can spot a logical flaw from ten thousand feet up.

Oh yeah, and there’s also one enormous black dude who drives an SRT-8 Jeep around Queens and can remotely kill you with his brain.

No matter which one of the above stereotypes fits you, you need to put it all aside and get out to Joshua Tree National Park this weekend to join me for a party that, in all likelihood, neither of us will be able to remember.


desert

It’s called Desert Generator and it’s gonna be live. An enormous caravan of custom Seventies vans will be rolling from Los Angeles to Joshua Tree Saturday morning. Me? I’ll be the guy on the Indian Roadmaster at the end of the line, and you know I’ll be accompanied by a member of the fairer sex. There will be a massive van show during day, and I’ll be awarding a prize for Raddest Van or something similar.

As soon as the sun sets, it’s time to head to the world-famous Pappy and Harriet’s for a five-band stoner-rock lineup. When it’s all said and done, you can camp out in your van or on the desert floor. I’ll be borrowing an Airstream from Kate Pierson of the B-52s, and although three’s a crowd in the bed of an Airstream I could probably find room for one of our distaff readers. If there are any. The stats say there aren’t. Come prove me wrong.

Insofar as we live in a world where liability is always a concern, I feel compelled to warn you that partying with me in the desert is a bad idea and you could ingest substances that destroy your corpus callosum and you might wind up face down on the desert sand choking in your own vomit like John Bonham and where we’re going, they don’t have paved roads and stuff like that.

Don’t forget that I have a knack for meeting very strange people and hanging out with them and you might be victimized by this.

But you’re still gonna do it, right? Of course you are. See you this Saturday.

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49 Comments on “Come Join Me and the Rolling Heavy Vanner Girls For a Party In the Desert...”


  • avatar
    laphoneuser

    I have my kids this weekend. Otherwise, this recently divorced guy who needs to learn how to have fun again would be there.

  • avatar
    JimZ

    “But you’re still gonna do it, right? ”

    Nope. no desire to go to California.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      Lol, the LA part of it is certainly awful.

    • 0 avatar
      carguy67

      “no desire to go to California”

      Understood. Who would want to experience:

      1) Yosemite
      2) Death Valley (once/decade wildflower bloom in progress)
      3) Giant redwoods
      4) Mono Lake tufas
      5) Angeles Crest Highway
      6) Big Sur
      7) Golden Gate Bridge
      8) Mount Whitney
      9) Lake Tahoe (well, half of it)
      10) Trinity Alps
      11) Lava Beds National Monument
      12) Napa wine country
      13) Gold Country
      14) Mojave Desert
      15) Klamath River Canyon
      16) Bodie ghost town
      17) Lassen National Volcanic Park
      18) Devil’s Postpile
      19) Hundreds of miles of the best driving roads anywhere

      and, the aforementioned Joshua Tree National Park.

      Me neither.

      • 0 avatar
        stevelyon

        Shhh. Let them remain ignorant.

        • 0 avatar
          JimZ

          he says, as though I haven’t actually been there. I have. it’s the *people* who make me not want to go back. Like “carguy67” up there who acts like it’s the only state with stuff worth seeing.

          • 0 avatar
            carguy67

            Yes, every single person in California is exactly the same and you don’t like them, and every single person in your state is a saint. Got it.

            Never said California is the ‘only state with stuff worth seeing’–project much?–but it has a lot of stuff worth seeing. However, for all-around scenery you can’t beat Utah.

          • 0 avatar
            -Nate

            ” all-around scenery you can’t beat Utah.”

            This is certainly true .

            _However_ mormons tend to be -really- rude and there’s NO EXCUSE for that .

            I don’t know the secret mormon handshake and wouldn’t use it if I did because that’s patently UN AMERICAN as well as simply bad manners .

            I once broke down in my Brothers truck in some little town and made a bee line to the first Cop I saw , asked him where the parts store was , he was nasty and told me I’d best get my piece of junk back on the interstate and make the next town before he arrested me…

            Nice , really nice .

            utah is beautiful but won’t be getting my significant Tourist Dollars ever again .

            This was just once , almost every where I stopped to eat , gas up or sleep , was deliberately rude .

            -Nate

  • avatar
    danio3834

    22hrs a bit of a long rip on short notice, I can’t deck out a Promaster that fast. It would be something I would normally attend, though.

  • avatar
    windnsea00

    Pappy & Harriet’s is great, saw Simian Mobile Disco produce a live album there two years ago.

  • avatar
    npaladin2000

    Vans are giant rolling bricks with less visibility than a modern SUV. No thanks. Besides, driving and mind-altering chemicals of any kind don’t mix. :)

  • avatar
    FAHRVERGNUGEN

    Awesome. A van-load of hot plumber chicks. Count me speechless.

  • avatar
    mason

    There’s just somethin about scantly clothed women dressed in distasteful tattoos…mmmm

  • avatar
    friedclams

    If I leave now, I can hop in the Astro (resplendent in its factory decals) and just make it to LA by the 9th.

  • avatar
    dswilly

    As a music fan be sure and stop in the Joshua Tree Inn where Gram Parsons passed in room 8. My wife and I stayed there last fall (not room 8) although you can. Place is very much a time warp

  • avatar
    Master Baiter

    I can’t stand tats on women.

  • avatar
    nickoo

    Aww man. I am not in San Diego at the moment. I am across the country in Florida. Have fun out in Joshua Tree. You may want to head to the dunes out in brawly or to the River if you want an even better time.

  • avatar
    Irvingklaws

    Custom vans and stoner rock!? Sounds awesome! Count me in! Though, in spirit only. Too many promises to keep…and miles to go before I sleep.

  • avatar
    ...m...

    …reads like terrible fun, but i’m already doing the maverick music festival…

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    That poster is AWE INSPIRING.

    (The girls aren’t bad either…but I kind of doubt they’ll be washing too many vans out there in the desert…)

  • avatar
    Sanman111

    Single me woukd consider this, married me is wondering why you are doing this on the wrong coast as I am in need of fun that involves bad ideas. Then again that is how single me ended up a house with lines of cocaine, handguns, violently disgruntled roommates, and two recently befriended homeless people who were torn between the prospect of free drugs and the prospect of being shot by two guys fighting over a hand gun. Ahh, grad school…

  • avatar

    I’m an old hippie but this sounds way more appealing than Burning Man or a Rainbow gathering.

    I wonder if anyone has ever built a Marshall stack into a Chevy van?

    Years ago we were subletting a townhouse in a low income complex from a friend, Sy, who had formerly managed the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago during the Fillmore days. He was in the process of moving from Ann Arbor to Marin County and it happened that my cousin, who is a plumber and then had a Chevy work van (inline 300 six with a three on the tree), needed to bring some stuff of his own in LA, where he grew up, back to Detroit.

    Arrangements were made for my cousin to get a small U-Haul trailer, and take Sy’s stuff to Marin on his way to Los Angeles. While managing the Aragon Sy had some really huge loudspeakers made by a PA pro, to use for his personal stereo system. They were bigger than Klipschhorns, maybe 4 feet tall and a footprint maybe 3’x2′. The midrange and tweeter were horns and the woofer was ported so they were very efficient.

    They wouldn’t fit in the trailer so we put them in the van. My cousin wouldn’t believe me that his small 3W stereo cassette deck would drive but the sounded so good on the way to Marin that he said that he missed them on the drive back to Detroit.

    • 0 avatar
      olddavid

      The efficiency of horns and the loaded enclosure is astounding. I am glad the public at large remains ignorant and resistant to large speakers. It allows the buying of Belle Klipsch, etc. for short (get it?) money. I used to hang out in the Uptown neighborhood around the ballroom. Saw the Airplane do an acoustic show at the Electric Theater several blocks down Lawrence when Signe was lead singer. Good times.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    Engineer + Sedona minivan + happily married + I live in PA = No, but thanks, anyway.

    Besides, I think those girls are for display purposes only, and do not represent the Real Product.

  • avatar
    turf3

    “Besides, I think those girls are for display purposes only, and do not represent the Real Product.”

    Bingo!!

    As far as tattoos, I am OK with them on male or female as long as they are on the upper arm and represent the emblem of the branch of the military service from which you were honorably discharged, or are currently serving. Otherwise, NNAAAHHHHHHH.

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    This married dude is baptising is 1st born this weekend and keep working on creating a sibling, but y’all have fun.

  • avatar
    -Nate

    ? Joshua Tree or Pioneer Town Jack ? . two different places , not far apart , I like both .

    Of _course_ you’d invite me the one weekend I have to go to Phoenix for a Micro Car show (the U.L.C.S.) where I have to get special permission to bring my too big Metropolitan Nash FHC…

    Otherwise what the hell , I’d ride the Ural out to see if I can still ride that far .

    Have fun get laid , be very careful of the drunken your Marines out there ! .

    -Nate

  • avatar
    Nick

    How can you do this to me knowing I can’t attend? Have you no compassion?

  • avatar
    hybridkiller

    Ordinarily I might consider something like this, but with 5 bands the odds are just too high that one of them will be a Dead tribute band – couldn’t risk that kind of torture.

  • avatar
    multicam

    If I lived in the United States I’d come. But it’s just too far from Hawaii.

  • avatar
    April S

    Sounds like it will be a total sausage fest.

    Thanks but no thanks.

  • avatar
    319583076

    Brant Bjork is a great guy and an amazing musician. You’re gonna have a blast, Jack.

    Anyone reading this should check out Red Fang’s “Prehistoric Dog” video, you’ll thank me later. :)

    • 0 avatar
      hybridkiller

      idk, Brant Bjork and Acid King just sound like guys who spent too much time in the basement with dad’s old Sabbath LPs and a lot of bad weed. (Killswitch Engage is more my speed)

  • avatar
    jthorner

    For all of you hating on the women with tats, just remember that they don’t like you either.

    • 0 avatar
      npaladin2000

      1. We’re not hating, we’re expressing our opinion in a polite manner.
      2. They like me just fine. We agree to disagree. Funny thing, women with tats are generally more open to polite and respectful disagreement over artistic points.

  • avatar
    Wheelman

    I’ll be there. In a rented Town & Country, but I’ll be there.

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