My Greatest Hits (And Biggest Misses) Of 2015

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

It’s that time of year again! As I did in 2014, 2013, and 2012, I’m channeling my inner Joni Mitchell by linking back to some of my most popular articles of the year and also reanimating some of the things that I loved but you hated.

So let’s set the wayback machine to “not terribly far” and let’s go living, we’ll keep living, in the past!


The Hits

The April Fool’s Prank. This was the biggest article of the year at TTAC, and both of the “companion” pieces I did also made the Top 50. It came from an idea that Alex Roy had while we were driving Matt Farah’s “Million Mile Lexus” from Los Angeles to Powell, Ohio in January. Simultaneously depressed and exhilarated by the increasingly ridiculous bedpan-and-sketchy-data turn taken by pretenders to the “cross-country record,” Alex proposed to take the process to its logical conclusion via fiction. To say that the article was popular would be a considerable understatement. April Fools’, everyone.

You gotta be rich to own a cheap car. The aforementioned “Million Mile Lexus” somehow got me all the way from 21st and Lewis in Long Beach, CA to my driveway without much drama, but it couldn’t make it to Tim Horton’s two days later without blowing out its radiator. The think piece that I wrote about the repairs performed by “Tavarish” from Jalopnik wound up being linked everywhere from AudioAsylum to AR15.com.

Porsche’s Deadly Sin #1. It’s been more than five years since I wrote this but it easily cracked the Top 10 stats page again this year. It might be one of the most popular things in the entire history of the site and it’s been read close to a half million times.

Performance Car Of the Year, 2016. As was the case for the two years previous, Road&Track‘s “PCOTY” was a chance for me to spend three days driving the most exciting new cars on the market with my friends and write a story about it that would be distributed across the globe to millions of readers. It’s difficult to express the sheer satisfaction involved in the event without coming off like a pre-arrest Martin Shkreli holding the Wu-Tang album, so I won’t bother.

Death Of An Incel. This was one of the the most popular things I wrote for my own blog in 2015, and it led to all sorts of fascinating conversations. Perhaps the oddest consequence of publishing this article was a series of emails I received from a mysterious fellow who claimed to be romantically involved with a friend of Wilkes McDermid. He portrayed himself as a sort of Christian Grey character: young, handsome, impeccably fit, wealthy beyond my wildest imagination, the veteran of a hundred supermodels’ bedrooms. I don’t know if he’s for real or if it’s a put-on, but regardless I enjoy our correspondence.

The Misses

My Elsinore GP misadventure was (and remains) a sustained low point in 2015. My plan was to honor Steve McQueen by competing in the Elsinore off-road motorcycle race. I had zero off-road motorcycle experience. Still, the first day of training went pretty well and it wasn’t until the morning of the second day, early in October, that I snapped my left tibial plateau clean off, pulling two ligaments with it. For the record, I rode the bike back to the pits after the crash. If you stop by the R&T site at the end of the week, you should be able to see some X-rays and hear a fun story about a guy who had his arms laid open and purposely mutilated so he could continue riding dirtbikes. I’m still using a cane to walk and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever get that leg all the way back to where it was, but what the hell.

Aircooled cars, hot prices. What made me sad about this piece was that I went through the trouble of doing a Bob Seger parody and only one reader caught it. It’s not that you’re idiots. It’s that I didn’t do a very good job. Like Chucky on “SOA” used to say, I accept that.

Stupid Paris Stupid Does. Not only is the headline labored, the diesel fanatics wanted me dead after they read the whole thing. But you’d be well advised/Not to plan my funeral before the body dies. I continue, however, to think that diesel passenger cars are a terrible idea. The particulate issue is only now beginning to get the attention it truly deserves.

Review: M235xi. The various mouth-breathing basement-dwellers of the BMW forums absolutely crucified me for refusing to acknowledge the Greatness Of The Turbo Six Powered Two Series. Go to hell, you Bimmer-bronys. The car sucked.

Save For The Limo. This is the closest thing I’ve written lately to a mission statement. I hope it explains a little bit about why I write what I do and what I feel my responsibilities are to you, the reader. Enjoy it.

* * *

So what’s in the hopper for next year? Well, I’ll be racing against my brother, Matt Farah, and Travis Okulski in Las Vegas next month. We’ll see if those punks can cash the checks they’ve been writing with their keyboards. My prediction? Pain. I’ll also be buying and selling a few more motorcycles, and perhaps writing about it. Most interestingly for me, my son now owns a 50 cc TopKart and a Yamaha TTR-90 and we’re going to put them both to good use come this Spring. You know you’re getting old when you’re more excited for your kid’s new bike than your own new bikes, right? Stick with me in 2016, B&B. We’ll have fun.
Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Sigivald Sigivald on Jan 04, 2016

    I still think Baruth might really be Stephen O'Malley's alter ego. I approve of that possibility.

  • Koreancowboy Koreancowboy on Feb 26, 2016

    I enjoy reading your articles Jack, it's a lot of the reason why I regularly come back to TTAC. Here's to more hits for 2016.

  • 1995 SC As this is another car with Toyota badging that they didn't actually build, perhaps this is the new Supra.
  • ToolGuy Weather was cooler yesterday and there was a slight noise on startup several hundred miles from home. We better add 'water pump' to the watch list for the daily driver. Can you remind me when we get home? Thanks.
  • ToolGuy Is it pronounced BMW (-"uh") or BMW (-"eh")?
  • Tassos This makes zero sense. IF Stellantis' dismal showing is indeed HIS fault, why keep him another 14 months AT LEAST? The Billions of extra losses will be 100 times more than the few millions they would give him for early termination. But I am pretty sure it is NOT his fault, but the DISMAL PRODUCT he had to work with. ..................Maybe it will take more than 14 months to find a DECENT REPLACEMENT for him?
  • 3SpeedAutomatic 66 yr old retiree. Had ‘12 Ford Escape at $780 each six months. Recently replaced with ‘22 Passport $900 each six months. Liability at max ($250k), plus comp/collision on each due to many in Louisiana without auto insurance. Could not afford uninsured motorists for that would double premium.Latest scam are those with temporary license plates on older cars. Sign that they don’t have insurance. Temporary tags are easily duplicated. Getting out of hand. 🚗🚗🚗
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