I Tried To Buy A Charger Again, And Failed Again

The automotive journalism industry is infinitely weird. I’m much more likely to be recognized by someone in a foreign land than I am in my own city. Just recently, during Halifax’s Pride Parade, a man I didn’t know walked up to me and asked, “Are you Mark Stevenson?” It’s the first time that’s ever happened to me in Halifax. Maybe I have the local LGBT demographic on lock, or at least the “G” part of the initialism.

Regardless of my popularity with the sharply dressed set, I can walk into virtually any local dealer and nobody will know who I am — which is absolutely perfect when you run into a salesman who states: “Let me be honest with you: I make $100,000 a year at this place and it’s made me not care about cars anymore.”

Of course, this was at a Dodge dealer that lacked any kind of automotive enthusiasm on its lot.

Undeterred, I am still occasionally Charger shopping. There are three Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep/RAM dealers in my immediate vicinity.

The first one I went to is a 10 minute walk down the street from my house; incredibly easy to spot from the highway thanks to all the bright orange Ram 1500s and neon-stickered minivans. Oh, and there’s always a Jeep sitting atop a man-made boulder. Always. The dealer doesn’t have a single Chrysler 300, Dodge Charger or Dodge Challenger and very few Dodge Darts, Dodge Durangos and Jeep Grand Cherokees. Even the used lot is as exciting as a Christian stripshow attempting to convey a message to its audience. Oh look, it’s a Charger! … 2014 SE automatic. Oh look, there’s a Challenger! … with horrible aftermarket wheels, Pep Boys portholes and a V-6 engine.

Needless to say, I wouldn’t be stopping by that particular dealer again, especially after the uninterested attitude I received last time from their sales staff. Instead, I went to another dealer that also sells Fiats and sits beside an Acura store, hoping that combination might spur said dealer into offering a wider selection.

Boy, was I wrong.

This second dealer — owned by a local, family-named dealership group — is certainly bigger than the first, but the models there were the same as the first, just more of them. The most interesting vehicle on the lot was a clapped-out Subaru Baja … owned by someone taking a peeking glance at a Jeep Patriot. I pray for her to this day.

I drove around the lot fully knowing I was not going to see a new Charger. As you may already know, the last time I was searching for a larger-engined Charger I went to the interwebs and came up with zero results within 200 miles. However, I was hoping I might see a used, previously fleet-owned 2015 Charger to satiate my desires.

The lower lot provided nothing but Journey after Grand Caravan after Cherokee. Holy, the Cherokees. The only “fun” members of the lot were some turbocharged Fiat 500s and a lone Challenger V-6 automatic. This was not going well. To the upper used lot I went.

My mother and her significant other had been here just a week previous and said there was a Chrysler 300 closely resembling what they’re looking to buy. Mom’s beau is now well into retirement and looking for a final rolling resting place for his last years at the wheel. Being a man of large stature, the 300 is well suited for him — but not so for me. I want a Charger, and the upper lot did have a few of 2014 and earlier vintage. No V-8s. No 2015s.

I was just about to leave when a salesman, likely in his late 40s, came rolling up the hill on his Yamaha golf cart. Instead of peeling out, I rolled down my window.

“Can I help you with something today, sir?”

(I have always hated when someone older than me calls me “sir”, but that’s outside the context of this story.)

“Maybe,” I replied. “Do you have any 2015 Chargers?”

“No, we didn’t get many, and they ones we did get are gone.”

While someone might get disenchanted with the response, I saw an opportunity.

“When does your 2016 model year allotment come in?”

“Well, normally it would be closer to the fall. We should have one then.”

They should have one then. I take a stab.

“Any chance it would be a V-8 model?”

It’s at this point Mr. Golf Cart opens up.

“Ohhh, ha ha, definitely not. We’re similar, you and I. We want to have fun with our cars. But, we would never order that in for the lot. Let me be honest with you: I make $100,000 a year at this place and it’s made me not care about cars anymore.”

On that last conversational highlight, we exchanged pleasantries and cards, and I went on my way.

One week later, I had the chance to speak with a Chrysler Canada employee and I figured this would be the time to ask him some questions.

“Did you read my piece on the Charger?” I asked him.

“Yes, I did,” he replied, seemingly unsure of where the conversation was going.

“So, I tried again to buy a Charger but I haven’t written it up yet. I asked the salesman if they would get any V-8 Chargers in for 2016 and he said no. What’s going on?”

He went on to explain the situation through an anecdote.

Before his current position, his place was in sales. At one point, he dealt with a dealer that would only order vehicles of certain colors. Nothing too flashy; just silver, white, and black. Red cars didn’t sell on his lot, the dealer complained. For years, this dealer would only order those three colors, and this former sales rep asked him, “Well, if you never have those colors, how are they supposed to sell?”

The dealer, likely in a fit of rage to prove himself correct, ordered one of his least favorite colors — and it promptly sold.

Jack hit the nail on the head when he explained we are not the manufacturer’s customers — dealers are. However, manufacturers still hold some considerable sway in what dealers receive in annual allotments.

There’s another dealer semi-local to me that just opened. It’s a Nissan store in the middle of nowhere. As part of their initial floorplan, Nissan Canada made the dealer take nearly 40 Nissan Titans. I don’t mean the new, Ford-esque Titan that Carlos Ghosn is looking to carve a niche for itself by sitting between the 1500s and 2500s of the Detroit automakers. I mean the old Titan that virtually nobody is buying and Nissan itself isn’t even talking about these days.

If Nissan can saddle that dealer with nearly 40 Titans, I am sure Chrysler could make each dealer in the region take one or two Chargers.

It’s a shame though as the 2015 Charger is vastly superior to that of just the year prior, but dealers are still making decisions based on it being the same car as before — just like customers do. One can walk into any Ford dealer here and test drive a Coyote-powered Mustang GT, and those dealers will sell every last Mustang they stock. If the Dodge dealers took a chance on a few V-8 Chargers, they might sell like hotcakes.

Might.

Unfortunately for me, they absolutely know those minivans, Jeeps and Rams will sell within the next month or two.

There’s also no impetus for Chrysler Canada to force Chargers on my local dealers in particular. The new car is wildly successful in other markets and the automaker can simply send more units to those areas where they also know the full-size LX cars will sell.

But, that leaves me feeling just like the salesman at the second Dodge store I visited. If I need to live in a world where fun is completely erased from the automotive landscape, I don’t want to do this anymore, and you’d have to pay me $100,000 to continue doing it.