Slow Drive: Jaguar F-TYPE V6

Earlier this year, I got a weekend job doing what I always thought was a dream job — driving brand new cars around; almost all makes and models.

It turns out that even a “dream job” can quickly turn into “Oh great, I have to go to work again”. But forget that. The cool part is still cool and I still get to drive brand new VWs, Audis, BMW’s, Porsches, Hondas, everything. Everything except Cadillacs. I don’t think I’ve driven a new Caddy yet. That part is great!

There’s one catch to this job of mine. I have to stick to a speed limit. “Who doesn’t?” you may ask. Well, this speed limit is a little lower than most. I’m stuck doing 15 miles per hour. 15 mph. Oh, and no radio and rarely A/C.

Here’s what I’ve noticed: Driving slowly gives you a chance to learn the vehicle more. How’s the ride? How’s the interior? When you’re in traffic or on a back road, you’re busy worrying about deer, the guy on his cell phone, and what the road is doing ahead of you. I’m not worried about those things. It’s just me and the car. So what I’m trying out here is a unique spin on the car review. You’re not going to get handling at the limit. You’re not going to get maximum acceleration. You’re going to get what I notice while driving 2-5 miles at 15 miles per hour — a Slo-Mo Review.

Let’s start with a good one. The Jaguar F-TYPE V6.

I’m getting in the F-TYPE because the guy in front of me couldn’t get the door open. It’s simple. You push on the dimple, the handle pops out, you open the door, and get in. Move the seat all the way back, all the way down. The seat controls are on the door. I always like that because I can move the seat without getting in or bending over.

I can fit in this car. It’s low and I’m tall so sometimes it’s a bit of a squeeze. Nice inside; leather everywhere. Everything seems bolted together tightly. The door panel doesn’t move when I rest my knee on it. That’s surprisingly rare.

Ok, push the start button. Whoa! The supercharged V-6 sounds amazing, and it blips the throttle when you start it. Sounds amazing — enough to get a stare from the boss every single time. Sorry boss, it’s not me, it’s the car! Ok, the revs settle down — and what the hell is that? The vents are RISING UP OUT OF THE DASH! SWEET! You know what? That’s fascinating. I’m gonna turn it off and back on just to hear the engine and watch the vents. Did I do that four times? Maybe. What are you going to do about it? You’d do the same. Vents go up! Vents go down.

Pull away and everything feels good. No twitchy throttle. No grabby brakes. This is a bumpy lot, but the car’s not rattling or squeaking. Sure, it’s brand new, but that doesn’t mean anything. The Jag rides well for a sports car. It’s understeering at a snail’s pace, but suspension blocks will do that. Don’t worry, they take those out. I’m just gonna keep blipping the throttle and listening to the engine. I’ve heard the F-TYPE is one of the loudest new cars. Based on 1/8th throttle and 2000 rpm, I believe it.

The Jaguar F-TYPE is great in a parking lot. Great for a while anyway. Wonder how long before those pop-up vents start to act like pop-up headlights? It’s a Jag. I’m sure it’ll be fine — right? Yeah, the Jag is great, but lots of cars are terrible.

Stay tuned and you’ll get more greats, and more monstrosities. Like how 1 in 4 A3’s I’ve driven had the steering wheel offset about 1 inch to the left. How does that even happen?