By on August 24, 2015


Earlier this year, I got a weekend job doing what I always thought was a dream job — driving brand new cars around; almost all makes and models.

It turns out that even a “dream job” can quickly turn into “Oh great, I have to go to work again”. But forget that. The cool part is still cool and I still get to drive brand new VWs, Audis, BMW’s, Porsches, Hondas, everything. Everything except Cadillacs. I don’t think I’ve driven a new Caddy yet. That part is great!

There’s one catch to this job of mine. I have to stick to a speed limit. “Who doesn’t?” you may ask. Well, this speed limit is a little lower than most. I’m stuck doing 15 miles per hour. 15 mph. Oh, and no radio and rarely A/C.

Here’s what I’ve noticed: Driving slowly gives you a chance to learn the vehicle more. How’s the ride? How’s the interior? When you’re in traffic or on a back road, you’re busy worrying about deer, the guy on his cell phone, and what the road is doing ahead of you. I’m not worried about those things. It’s just me and the car. So what I’m trying out here is a unique spin on the car review. You’re not going to get handling at the limit. You’re not going to get maximum acceleration. You’re going to get what I notice while driving 2-5 miles at 15 miles per hour — a Slo-Mo Review.

Let’s start with a good one. The Jaguar F-TYPE V6.

I’m getting in the F-TYPE because the guy in front of me couldn’t get the door open. It’s simple. You push on the dimple, the handle pops out, you open the door, and get in. Move the seat all the way back, all the way down. The seat controls are on the door. I always like that because I can move the seat without getting in or bending over.

I can fit in this car. It’s low and I’m tall so sometimes it’s a bit of a squeeze. Nice inside; leather everywhere. Everything seems bolted together tightly. The door panel doesn’t move when I rest my knee on it. That’s surprisingly rare.

Ok, push the start button. Whoa! The supercharged V-6 sounds amazing, and it blips the throttle when you start it. Sounds amazing — enough to get a stare from the boss every single time. Sorry boss, it’s not me, it’s the car! Ok, the revs settle down — and what the hell is that? The vents are RISING UP OUT OF THE DASH! SWEET! You know what? That’s fascinating. I’m gonna turn it off and back on just to hear the engine and watch the vents. Did I do that four times? Maybe. What are you going to do about it? You’d do the same. Vents go up! Vents go down.

Pull away and everything feels good. No twitchy throttle. No grabby brakes. This is a bumpy lot, but the car’s not rattling or squeaking. Sure, it’s brand new, but that doesn’t mean anything. The Jag rides well for a sports car. It’s understeering at a snail’s pace, but suspension blocks will do that. Don’t worry, they take those out. I’m just gonna keep blipping the throttle and listening to the engine. I’ve heard the F-TYPE is one of the loudest new cars. Based on 1/8th throttle and 2000 rpm, I believe it.

The Jaguar F-TYPE is great in a parking lot. Great for a while anyway. Wonder how long before those pop-up vents start to act like pop-up headlights? It’s a Jag. I’m sure it’ll be fine — right? Yeah, the Jag is great, but lots of cars are terrible.

Stay tuned and you’ll get more greats, and more monstrosities. Like how 1 in 4 A3’s I’ve driven had the steering wheel offset about 1 inch to the left. How does that even happen?

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19 Comments on “Slow Drive: Jaguar F-TYPE V6...”

  • avatar

    Are you going to explain why you can only drive 15 mph?

    • 0 avatar

      I’m totally into driving slowly and caring entirely about ride quality, none about speed or handling. But this does strike me like reviewing a plane from only taxiing.

      Expanding this approach to a Reality Driving series where only normal, packed-up daily commute conditions are tested *would* appeal to me.

    • 0 avatar

      If he has a job at a PORT then that would explain it. I drive over the Dames Point Bridge her in Jax FL twice a day and see the sea of cars that are coming off of the cargo ships. From there they either place them on trains or 18 wheelers and take most to a compound about 20 miles away and stored. I have seen them drive them off the trains and trucks and park them behind a large fence.

    • 0 avatar
      Evan Williams

      It’s a large facility that handles transport of cars. Some I drive 20 feet, some 5-10 miles. They’ve set the speed limit for the facility at 15mph.

      • 0 avatar

        OK. This actually has some value to me except my slow drive is down a gravel road of about a half mile. I drive slow as the county is slow to repair it and don’t want to tear it up more than necessary.

  • avatar
    Master Baiter

    There’s five minutes of my life gone forever.

    • 0 avatar


      If going slow in a car counts as driving then I’ve driven a Lambo Gallardo thus I too can review it! So onto my exciting review of this awesome super car many of you have drooled over…

      The Gallardo is very difficult to get into reverse. Once in reverse you can’t see anything so someone will have to give you various hand gestures to ensure you don’t hit anything while putting said Gallardo back into its garage correctly for safe keeping. While in the sun the Gallardo’s yellow paint looks great. The Gallardo is very reliable as I noticed no oil drops in the driveway during my time with it. The end.

  • avatar

    Looks like the new guy passed the test you need to do to qualify to write for this site. “Can you take cheap shots at GM?” “Yessir!” “Welcome aboard!!!”

  • avatar

    Ah, the steering wheel offset. I’d love to know the answer to that one too. I have ben very picky about that since I bought a new ’96 Explorer that had that particular issue. The wheel was about 1.5″ off-center from the seat. When I griped to the dealer, I was told that this happens because there are several different seats they build for the Explorer and the dfferent dimensions mean not all of them can line up the same way. I was younger and dumber, so I believed it.

    Since then, I’ve walked away from a few good deals because of that little problem. It’s not bad on short trips, and I suspect many people never notice. But a 6-hour road trip can turn that small offset into a sore back.

    The likely answer is that the tolerances for fit on all of those pieces and materials are fairly large. So when you put the steering column together with the rest of the interior dash stuff and tighten everything down, things can shift a bit. I don’t know if this can be trued up by loosening the relevant parts and screwing them down again, since it could be dependent on the goodies on the other side of the firewall, but it seems like a lot of work.

    • 0 avatar

      I bought my dad an 89 560sl for fathers day a few years back. I wanted the nicest example I could find so I ended up buy an out of area car from an auction (had a third party inspection that was a giant waste of money as the missed most of the things I asked them to check for)

      When it was delivered, i freaked out because the steering wheel is tilted waaaay out. I thought the car and had been wrecked and poorly screwed back together. Thank goodness the forums put me straight, and it is apparently angled that way to make ingress and egress easier with the large tiller in the way.

  • avatar

    You’re like what happens if Doug DeMuro had an even shorter attention span.

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