By on July 21, 2015


Make your Mark so Sanjeev doesn’t have to.

Sajeev writes:

Yes, I’m riffing on that infamous 1980s Car & Driver promotion about doing something-something or we’ll shoot this dog.

My coffers are almost empty: TTAC’s readership needs to send questions to answer on Piston Slap. Because, if you don’t…

Actually no, even if Piston Slap dies (along with my auto-journo career and paycheck) I won’t kill my Mark VIII LSC mid-restoration. Nor will I abort the wicked powertrain swap planned for TTAC’s project Ford Sierra. Money is overrated, and there’s more info on the Sierra coming soon.

But we (you and me) can’t continue to make the interactive column I once envisioned many moons ago without your help. Email me ([email protected] [For the time being, send inquiries to [email protected] as it seems Sajeev’s email is borked. Also, if you already sent Sajeev your question, please send it again to the new address. Technology, man. -Mark) with any question about your car, cars in general, theoretical situations and just about anything else. Just a few minutes on the keyboard from you nets plenty of joy from TTAC readers.

Don’t be shy.

Stop lurking.

Make it happen.

Send your queries to [email protected]com. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry…but be realistic, and use your make/model specific forums instead of TTAC for more timely advice.

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37 Comments on “Piston Slap: Submit Queries Now or This LSC Gets It!...”

  • avatar

    C’mon Sajeev, I can’t believe you wouldn’t go ROSE MIST on a resto of that Marky-Mark VIII!

  • avatar

    The so-called “infamous promotion” actually dates back to January 1973 and the cover of National Lampoon’s “Death” issue: “If you don’t buy this magazine, we’ll kill this dog.”

  • avatar
    Land Ark

    I have a few I can offer up, however the real question I want answered is how come we haven’t been getting Vellum Venom lately? We’ve only gotten one full episode and a few vignettes since September. Certainly there must be relevant cars that makes you stop in your tracks. Might I suggest the new Maxima? Or how about the SS?

  • avatar

    “Make your Mark so Sanjeev doesn’t have to.”

    Well, at least if your car’s gonna get trashed, it will be your evil twin doing the deed.

  • avatar

    I bought a new car last year and my Electra is doing good. Even my Seville is okay (because I only drive it like once a month) so I have no Piston Slaps for you.

    What you are doing to that Lincoln I would love to do with a Trofeo or Lesabre T-type though.

  • avatar

    That car looks good, but there’s some kind of problem with the trunk lid. It looks like it got flattened by something in the back. You should fix it.

  • avatar

    Please, somebody shoot that painter. The LAST thing this world needs is yet another joyless gray car.

    Gray: Worst. Color choice. EVER. Synonymous with malaise and depression.

  • avatar

    How are you going to restore the interior? First, parts in good condition have got to be impossible to find. Second, will you be doing all-custom upholstery? Ford leather of that era lasts about 60 seconds before it gets dry, brittle, and crackly.

    That paint job is all kinds of right, though.

  • avatar

    I think you mean that you’re riffing on National Lampoon’s January 1973 issue: “If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog,” but I appreciate the sentiment:

  • avatar

    I don’t think you want me bugging you with my car schizophrenia…

    On any given week I go through the following thought process:

    Sell both cars and consolidate to a new 4Runner!

    Upgrade Civic to new Outback Limited, keep 4Runner!

    Buy Cressida, sell Civic, keep 4Runner!

    Sell Civic and 4Runner, buy Outback Limited!

    Neither buy nor sell anything, keep saving!

    Thankfully the last option is what I end up going with after all of the mental gymnastics.

    • 0 avatar

      Yeah I do a lot of daydreaming on Auto Trader…

      • 0 avatar

        My cure to this disease and wanting to blow money on a new vehicle is to browse Zillow instead for houses. I’ll be in the market in a few short years so it’s a tangible thing to look forward to. All I see is three car garages and acreage for a future workshop (equipped with a 2 post lift, big air compressor, MIG welder), filled with all sorts of interesting projects and daily drivers and motorcycles. Ah, to dream.

        • 0 avatar

          Sometimes you have to sacrifice the number of garage doors in order to get the style of house you want.

          Example – around here in Ohio, if you want more than one car in your garage, and you have less than 190K (as in newer subdivision house money), you’re in ranch territory. Don’t want a ranch (like I didn’t)? Then you’ll be having a 1-car garage.

          I sacrificed – having a 1-car so my house would actually have some style/character other than “old rectangle.” It’s a Cape Cod.

          • 0 avatar

            For me, it’s sometimes you have to sacrifice the house you want in order to get the garage you want. Priorities.

            “All I see is three car garages and acreage for a future workshop (equipped with a 2 post lift, big air compressor, MIG welder), filled with all sorts of interesting projects and daily drivers and motorcycles.”

            This is what I have. Hang in there for exactly what you want, you’ll never ever look back.

    • 0 avatar

      I know exactly what you mean. Before settling on my decision to sell my G8 GXP and buy a seven-year-old LS460 (take delivery July 31, w00t) I thought seriously about all of the following:

      – Spend several thousand making G8 GXP absolutely perfect, keep forever (it needed a front bumper repaint, some minor touch-up work elsewhere, new front lower control arms, a new lower radiator hose, and various other minor things)
      – Order new 2016 Chevy SS, trade G8 for it, and go imprudently into debt to take delivery
      – Change direction entirely, sell G8 and buy Accord Hybrid
      – Sell G8, sign stupid cheap lease on BMW M235i
      – Sell G8 and Forester, upgrade to Flex EcoBoost as only car
      – Sell G8, do nothing, earn interest on cash

      (The last two were scotched after I sold the G8 and we immediately had major family logistical problems, which surprised me given that neither of us commutes by car…)

      • 0 avatar

        Congrats on the LS, whenever I see one of the 460s on the street I react much more strongly than I do to a “me too” S class. The difference is about a 10 year gap between the two cars in how quickly they may end up on a BHPH lot, there’s something to be said for that.

        • 0 avatar

          Thanks. I was strongly attracted to the idea of owning one of the best-built cars in the world. That’s not to say the 460 is perfect — it has a few chronic issues like fragile control arm bushings and failure-prone stereo amplifiers — but it’s far, far less trouble-prone than its German competition.

          It’s also available in SWB form with almost all the gadgets, which helped its case. The only things missing are the ridiculous executive seating package, air suspension, and radar cruise (which was theoretically available on SWBs but I’ve never seen one). All other goodies: present and accounted for.

    • 0 avatar

      My two car vuying thoughts are:

      1. Sell T-Bird, buy something that’s better in snow

      2. Keep T-Bird, buy snow tires

      The second one is cheaper and easier, but it’s a short term solution…first option is harder and more expensive, but would serve me better in the long term. Decisions, decisions.

      • 0 avatar
        MRF 95 T-Bird

        Same here. I have a decent amount invested in my 95 T-Bird, suspension, brakes, water pump, speedometer rebuild w/new gear etc. and still enjoy it. However I would not mind something that is sporty but grippier when the weather is in-climate such as a Saab convertible, Audi TT coupe, Volvo C70 or a Mini Cooper S. But all of those can be rough on the wallet when it comes to maintenance so I keep the T-Bird running. Besides I rarely see many on the road anymore so it feels like I have something unique.

  • avatar

    Don’t kill the Lincoln! I just Buick’d Sajeev’s E-Mail account.

    Wait, that sounds kind of dirty….

  • avatar

    I always wanted to see what a Mark VIII would look like with the fake spare tire hump removed. I think it would really be sleek and lose the old guy image.

  • avatar
    MRF 95 T-Bird

    Keep the LSC. It is a gentleman’s Cobra and you don’t see many on the road anymore.

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