You Can't Argue The Price After You've Bought the Car

Doug DeMuro
by Doug DeMuro

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a new column I’d like to call: You’re an asshole if you do this. This can cover a wide range of automotive topics, including using a stack of keywords at the bottom of your Craigslist ad that’s longer than the actual ad itself.

But today, the topic is people who argue about the price after they’ve already bought the car. This has never happened to me, but I’ve heard stories about it happening to some people. After several minutes of serious thought, I’ve decided that I think it’s one of the most ridiculous things that we humans can do to one another, aside from parking in that little cross hatch space between the disabled parking spots.

Here’s what I mean. Let’s say you buy a car from somebody. We’ll call it a Honda Prelude, because this is the kind of thing that people buying used Preludes would do.

Now, you’re told your entire life used car sales without a written warranty are as-is transactions. This means you buy the car, you pay the money, and you have no recourse against the seller when it turns out there’s an entire family of capuchin monkeys living in the taillight assembly.

This is why car enthusiasts generally tell people who aren’t very knowledgeable about cars to get a mechanical inspection before the buy a vehicle. Because what happens is, normal people show up at a car dealer, and they listen to the salesman talk about how the air conditioning simply needs a recharge, and they think it’s fine, and they go home, and they discover their Freon is actually a couple of melted Skittles.

So anyway, here’s what happens. You’re buying a Honda Prelude and you show up at the house of the guy who’s selling it. He tells you about how he loves his Prelude, and he thinks it’s so cool, and his kids don’t want him to sell it, but he needs the money for his ex-wife, and also he’s starting a turnip farm, and a rock band, and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. So you take it out for a test drive, and you spend some time behind the wheel, and you think this is a pretty damn good car. So you give the guy whatever a used Prelude costs, maybe a few grand, and you go home to your house with your used Prelude title and, presumably, four mismatched tires.

Then the problems start. A few days later, the car overheats. The engine starts making funny noises. The radio doesn’t work. The rear seats turn out to be just crumpled up bundles of the guy’s dirty underwear. So what do you do?

The answer is: absolutely nothing. You bought a used car with used car problems, and you agreed to a used car sale with no used car warranty. Now you’re stuck with this Prelude, and if you want it to be half-decent, you’d better start spending money on skilled mechanics, and automotive electronics experts, and maybe a dry cleaner.

But here’s the problem. Not everyone does this. What some people do is they start calling the seller and insisting that YOU SOLD ME AN AWFUL CAR and demanding their money back, forgetting that they purchased a used car in as-is condition, and their legal recourse starts and ends with the phrase: Did the seller make you any guarantees?

This is, ultimately, an issue with personal responsibility. Yes, the seller may have sold you a bad car. But here’s the thing: he isn’t selling it because he wants to keep driving it. He’s probably selling it because he just used it to mow down a family two counties over.

No, I’m kidding. He’s probably selling it because he knows it has issues, and he wants the damn thing gone. Even if he tells you some sob story about how he wants to keep it, but he needs the money for a procedure for his daughter, and you ask what procedure, and he says a lobotomy, he’s probably selling it because it’s crap. And it’s your responsibility, as the buyer, to figure out exactly what’s wrong with the vehicle before you plunk down your money to own it.

Now, some of you will say a shady seller deserves some sort of punishment, and maybe this is true. When I’m selling something, I try to be as up-front and honest about it as humanly possible, disclosing every single fault or flaw, along with all the benefits and selling points. But here’s the thing: not everyone is like this. You certainly can’t assume a guy selling a used Prelude on Craigslist is like this. And so if you decide to take the gamble and roll the dice, you have to live with the numbers that come up.

Next time you’ll remember to get a mechanical inspection.

Doug DeMuro
Doug DeMuro

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  • Irvingklaws Irvingklaws on Jun 05, 2015

    I see a lot of potential mileage in this column. Move over "Top Ten..." and "You Might be a Redneck..." Looking forward to future articles.

  • Tomas De Torquematic Tomas De Torquematic on Jun 06, 2015

    I sold the wife's cheerful red hathcback a couple of years ago to a husband who wanted it for his wife and got an abusive message left on my phone from the wife later in the week because the car wouldn't start. I pondered for a moment because the car was quite a (in fact, completely) reliable little fella and was only sold due to a growing De family. Husband rang back before I could place a call and explained sheepishly that she'd left the lights on by accident and flattened the battery and then apologised on her behalf. I was kind of glad he got in first because there was a little indecision on which way my tone of reply was going had I rang back without knowing. He called me a few months later and just let me know the car was running well so it turned out nice. For a change.

    • Japanese Buick Japanese Buick on Jun 06, 2015

      He's probably used to cleaning up after his wife's temper and bitchiness. I feel sorry for him.

  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
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