A Very "Euro" Way To Hand Out That Free Candy

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Twenty-four years ago, noted wearer-of-Givenchy-sweatsuits-with-burgundy-trim DJ Quik lamented that, thanks to the pervasive influence of gangster rap, everywhere he went was just like Compton. The same thing is happening with the American commercial-vehicle landscape. The first to fall was the hoary old unibody Dodge van, which yielded to the rust-prone Sprinter. Next was the E-Series, nee Econoline, which bowed-out this year in favor of the Euro-style full-sized Transit. Only the Chevrolet Express and GMC Savana are left to carry the glinting banner on which waves the heraldic American-van shield of a bleeding hand (from trying to wrench on short-hood vehicles), a one-dollar bill (to signify the aggressive cost-cutting which has come to dominate that business) a bar of candy (calling to mind the child molesters and creeps who formed the tertiary van market) and the symbols “O-” (the old universal-donor blood type, required for anyone who crashed a van above walking pace).

Mercedes started this party in the USA, of course, but they’ve been late to the intermediate-van game. The Metris, announced at a work-truck show in Indianapolis, will fix that oversight.

The Metris starts at $29,945 for cargo and $33,495 for the passenger models. Who’s going to buy the latter, I wonder? It’s larger than the Transit Connect or the Nissan NV200.

The sole available engine is a four-cylinder gasoline model that delivers 208 hp and 258 lb-ft of torque to the rear-wheels via a 7-speed automatic transmission.

Everywhere else in the world, this is the “Vito” van, beloved steed of German plumbers and anybody else who wants to spend more money than you’d drop on, say, a Renault Kangoo. But here it’s “Metris”, presumably because “Vito” suggests Brando in his chunky forties and this Metris is meant to be more Al Pacino in Godfather II.

I cannot imagine the Metris will set the market on fire when it arrives. This is an exceptionally price-sensitive market, as I learned to my annoyance when I sold E-150s for a living, and Mercedes no longer carries the bulletproof quality reputation that would have made spending half again the price of a Transit Connect a no-brainer in 1982. We’ll just have to see. In the meantime, consider this: a passenger-model Metris carries more people than a CLA250, with more dignity.

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Dtremit Dtremit on Mar 04, 2015

    Given the three pointed star on the front, and the reasonably classy interior, I think you are going to see a lot of these at airport limo stands.

  • Mad_science Mad_science on Mar 04, 2015

    If the market for big vans is primarily commercial, I'm baffled as to why many of the big ones are switching to costlier euro-market examples over vehicles like the Econoline that exemplify cheap and simple. Why not just keep cranking out Econos with the 2.7EB, 3.7L and 3.5L EB backed by a newer 6AT?

    • See 8 previous
    • Scoutdude Scoutdude on Mar 06, 2015

      @Brian P A standard Sprinter can't carry as many people as a minibus based on a cutaway van. They usually start at 18-20 passengers. There are high roof conversions for the E-series and GM vans if you needed stand up height. I've got a Clubwagon (yes it is that old) that was originally outfitted as a wheelchair lift van. I've been noticing a lot of the recent E-series with high roof conversion being used by the local private para transport companies and looked into getting a retired one to replace my aged Clubwagon but they had between 400K and 500K and they still wanted several thousand for them.

  • Jeff JMII--If I did not get my Maverick my next choice was a Santa Cruz. They are different but then they are both compact pickups the only real compact pickups on the market. I am glad to hear that the Santa Cruz will have knobs and buttons on it for 2025 it would be good if they offered a hybrid as well. When I looked at both trucks it was less about brand loyalty and more about price, size, and features. I have owned 2 gm made trucks in the past and liked both but gm does not make a true compact truck and neither does Ram, Toyota, or Nissan. The Maverick was the only Ford product that I wanted. If I wanted a larger truck I would have kept either my 99 S-10 extended cab with a 2.2 I-4 5 speed or my 08 Isuzu I-370 4 x 4 with the 3.7 I-5, tow package, heated leather seats, and other niceties and it road like a luxury vehicle. I believe the demand is there for other manufacturers to make compact pickups. The proposed hybrid Toyota Stout would be a great truck. Subaru has experience making small trucks and they could make a very competitive compact truck and Subaru has a great all wheel drive system. Chevy has a great compact pickup offered in South America called the Montana which gm could make in North America and offered in the US and Canada. Ram has a great little compact truck offered in South America as well. Compact trucks are a great vehicle for those who want an open bed for hauling but what a smaller more affordable efficient practical vehicle.
  • Groza George I don’t care about GM’s anything. They have not had anything of interest or of reasonable quality in a generation and now solely stay on business to provide UAW retirement while they slowly move production to Mexico.
  • Arthur Dailey We have a lease coming due in October and no intention of buying the vehicle when the lease is up.Trying to decide on a replacement vehicle our preferences are the Maverick, Subaru Forester and Mazda CX-5 or CX-30.Unfortunately both the Maverick and Subaru are thin on the ground. Would prefer a Maverick with the hybrid, but the wife has 2 'must haves' those being heated seats and blind spot monitoring. That requires a factory order on the Maverick bringing Canadian price in the mid $40k range, and a delivery time of TBD. For the Subaru it looks like we would have to go up 2 trim levels to get those and that also puts it into the mid $40k range.Therefore are contemplating take another 2 or 3 year lease. Hoping that vehicle supply and prices stabilize and purchasing a hybrid or electric when that lease expires. By then we will both be retired, so that vehicle could be a 'forever car'. And an increased 'carbon tax' just kicked in this week in most of Canada. Prices are currently $1.72 per litre. Which according to my rough calculations is approximately $5.00 per gallon in US currency.Any recommendations would be welcomed.
  • Eric Wait! They're moving? Mexico??!!
  • GrumpyOldMan All modern road vehicles have tachometers in RPM X 1000. I've often wondered if that is a nanny-state regulation to prevent drivers from confusing it with the speedometer. If so, the Ford retro gauges would appear to be illegal.
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