SEAT And The Killer MQBs

I don't know if there is currently a make any less relevant than Seat. Just after VW bought them, they did okay because they used trusted VW tech but at a lower price. Then VW tried to establish Skoda as its value brand and make Seat the sporty one, an Alfa Romeo of their own, if you will. A sporty make which produced 3 run-of-the-mill small hatchbacks (Arosa, Ibiza, Leon), two equally forgettable small sedans (Cordoba, Toledo), a minivan (Alhambra), and a supermini-based delivery van (Inca), all styled in a traditionally Volkswagen, boring fashion! No models larger than Jetta (apart from Alhambra), no models unique to their make (all were rebadged VWs or largely based thereon), not even one particularly sporty model - apart from the Cupra versions of Ibiza and Leon but practically everybody offered high-performance versions of their hatchbacks back then so it's not like they were unique. Meanwhile, people got wise and noticed that if they wanted to have a VW on a budget, Skoda's got them covered better than Seat. Skoda exploded in popularity. What did Seat do? They introduced a lineup of minivan-styled vehicles WHILE TRYING TO KEEP THE SPORTY VIBE. They really thought they could pull it off. Guess what? The sales tanked, and what did they do? They introduced a traditional, Audi A4-based sedan. Sounds good, right? PREVIOUS GEN A4-BASED. That's right, they tried to gain market share by offering a decontented, outdated platform even though even Skoda got the latest tech! Now their lineup consists of 2 models based on VW and priced between them and Skoda while having no more brand cachet than the Czechs (Mii and Leon), one cheaper equivalent to a VW but in a declining segment (Alhambra), one rebadged and more expensive Skoda (Toledo), a previous-gen supermini (Ibiza) and a minivan that debuted in 2004(!) (Altea). It's just a matter of time before Seat becomes relegated to the status of a low-volume maker operating in a few select markets before folding completely. Automotive history knows of many such examples - Lancia, Autobianchi, Innocenti, Rover, and other British makes come to mind. It's not a surprise then that VW was/is interested in buying Alfa Romeo. They know their Seat experiment has failed and they can't get any more mileage out of the failing division.

Forget scantily clad women (which sadly have been few and far between since Mr Volkswagen left). That picture is all I need to get through the day. Too bad I can't buy either one of them.