Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Watch This
I’ll admit it: when I wrote my anguished screed regarding the ridiculous curated-Tweet Lincoln “Motor Company” advertisement-in-progress, I sincerely hoped that I would be wrong. I secretly thought: hey, there are some smart people involved, and “crowdsourcing” might produce the work of Shakespeare as easily as an infinite number of monkeys on typewriters.
Boy, was I wrong.
There’s no sense in beating-up the ad. It’s terrible and surely nobody thought it was otherwise at any point in the process. The “curated Tweets” are inane. The resulting story is less funny than a session of “Mad Libs” where you fill every blank with “cervix crusher”. There’s nothing positive to say about it. This is what happens when a stupid idea is dragged kicking and screaming to its pitiful conclusion.
Something tells me the “Lincoln Motor Company” is coming out of the gate with three broken legs.
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Jack, you're supposed to think this ad is a sign of the apocalypse. It's aimed at women. I guess the Lincoln marketing plan is now clear: SELL TO WOMEN. Women play an increasingly larger role in the workforce. Women have better education and higher income prospects. Women buy their own cars nowadays. Women are allegedly more motivated to get married than any generation before them, yet their marriage rates are historically low. The dread of going stag to a girlfriend's wedding and the serendipity of an unconsummated hipster fling with a flannel-clad foreigner probably tested as 'highly appealing'. Jimmy Fallon probably tests well with women. Lincoln has sold out. Move on. It's no longer a car for Mad Men and aspiring males who seek corporate domination. Lincoln is a brand for the comely, conscientious, communal, XX-chomosomed middle-manager, who is socking away money for an imaginary relationship with a nonthreatening male-counterpart. Sadly, her number will probably not be called. These women used to wait hopelessly in the castle tower for Prince Charming to save them. Marketers never took notice. Now, the modern-day damsels in distress have a piles of gold next to their desks thanks to the lion-priding of US corporations. What is a marketer to do, if not adapt the androcentric destiny-storyline to reflect a spontaneous indie fling for a woman on a bittersweet errand? In the era of downsizing, down-powering, and disarming every chariot on the roadways, is there any better potential customer than a conscientious single female? Any red-blooded male is going to find this ad highly-offensive. After I've reinforced my masculinity by eating a pound of raw steak, I might put a few dollars on ticker symbol 'F'. A marketing plan that is this debased and unholy will almost certainly yield a windfall.
Oh I so have an 800 word article for this ad. Not just one of the worst car ads I've ever seen (based on what Lincoln is attempting to do) but one of the worst ads I have ever seen for so many reasons - period. I mean holy crap, they don't even have the sound sync right. Our story teller isn't aspirational. Our Lincoln "buyers" are WAY too young of a demographic, just - wow - crap crap crap. I would have never signed off on this storyboard, let alone let this abomination go to production. A crowd sourced via Twitter car ad would play great at Scion, Nissan, heck even Infiniti which has a pretty young demographic (relatively speaking). Lincoln?!?!? Ugh
No wonder Mitsubishi outsold Lincoln in January. This is how you make a memorable commercial, Lincoln, learn from your parent company. I still think it's the best commercial for a family sedan: http://tinyurl.com/a47ohwd
I know I'm nit-picking here but, LECIA M9's DON'T HAVE LIVE VIEW!!!! And what, because the hitch-hiker is German he HAS TO HAVE A LEICA? Seems a bit racist to me. If I was in a European care comercial would I have to be driving a F-250 super duty with the American flag plastered across the hood, listening to Springsteen at 180 db?????