I'm No Dummy

Matthew Guy
by Matthew Guy
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i m no dummy

photo source: Wikipedia

Statistics Canada reports that there are more than 26 million registered vehicles deemed fit to ply our 900,000km of Canadian roadway. Not bad for a group of souls who wear wool socks for six months of the year and feast on poutine. Transport Canada sets regulations for such things (the cars, not the poutine) and is thus charged with crashing, smashing, and otherwise ruining brand new vehicles with single digits on their odometers – all in the name of safety, of course.

The amount of detail available on the Transport Canada website is superb. Descriptions are there for the Test Plan of a Smart fortwo micro hybrid drive. An environmental analysis of the BMW 118d, curiously not for sale here or anywhere this side of the pond, is readable in all its oil burning glory.

What I didn’t know is that after the cars have been crashed, debris swept up, and crash test dummies put back on the shelf, Transport Canada sells the remains at an online auction like a black market physician going through the best of his cadavers. I thought they simply crushed them all. Nope.

May I interest you in a slightly bent 2011 Mazda Miata with five (five, not five thousand) kilometers for $4009.00? A 2011 Audi A3 with thirty-one kilometers for $2,266.00? At these prices, some judicious bidding and subsequent eBay hawking of non essential parts would bring the net investment down to LeMons territory! Alas, purchasers have to prove that his or her recycling firm is commercially recognized in Canada. Simply having four abandoned Mustangs on blocks in one’s front yard doesn’t count. I’ve tried.

It’s notable that they also auction off Euro-specific cars that are not registerable in Canada, with the stipulation that the car be hightailed out of the Colonies upon purchase. The BMW 118d mentioned above auctioned for $11,188.00 in August. Peugeots and Renaults as Canadian Government Crown Assets? Mon dieu!

Matthew buys, sells, repairs, & races cars. He is fond of making money and offering loud opinions. He can be found on Twitter @matthewkguy

Matthew Guy
Matthew Guy

Matthew buys, sells, fixes, & races cars. As a human index of auto & auction knowledge, he is fond of making money and offering loud opinions.

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3 of 21 comments
  • Brettc Brettc on Nov 04, 2012

    Thanks for the reminder about that site. There was a diesel Honda Accord listed on there at one point. Although I'd rather have that 118d. Too bad owning such a rare car would probably be a giant PITA in terms of parts availability! As for Poutine, it's an acquired taste. And definitely a good way to take advantage of Canada's evil commie healthcare. (I can say that, I'm Canadian).

  • Boff Boff on Nov 04, 2012

    Why Canada has their own regime for crash testing (and fuel ecomony testing) is simply beyond me. We should just adopt whatever standards the Americans develop. I'd even be willing to kick a few of my tax dollars south to help out y'all.

    • Ppxhbqt Ppxhbqt on Nov 05, 2012

      Better yet, why are they testing cars that aren't even sold there??

  • 28-Cars-Later "But Assemblyman Phil Ting, the San Franciscan Democrat who wrote the electric school bus legislation, says this is all about the health and wellbeing of Golden State residents. In addition to the normal air pollution stemming from exhaust gasses, he believes children are being exposed to additional carcinogens by just being on a diesel bus."Phil is into real estate, he doesn't know jack sh!t about science or medicine and if media were real it would politely remind him his opinions are not qualified... if it were real. Another question if media were real is why is a very experienced real estate advisor and former tax assessor writing legislation on school busses? If you read the rest of his bio after 2014, his expertise seems to be applied but he gets into more and more things he's not qualified to speak to or legislate on - this isn't to say he isn't capable of doing more but just two years ago Communism™ kept reminding me Dr. Fauxi knew more about medicine than I did and I should die or something. So Uncle Phil just gets a pass with his unqualified opinions?Ting began his career as a real estate  financial adviser at  Arthur Andersen and  CBRE. He also previously served as the executive director of the  Asian Law Caucus, as the president of the Bay Area Assessors Association, and on the board of  Equality California. [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Ting#cite_note-auto-1][1][/url][h3][/h3]In 2005, Ting was appointed San Francisco Assessor-Recorder in 2005 by Mayor  Gavin Newsom, becoming San Francisco’s highest-ranking  Chinese-American official at the time. He was then elected to the post in November 2005, garnering 58 percent of the vote.Ting was re-elected Assessor-Recorder in 2006 and 2010During his first term in the Assembly, Ting authored a law that helped set into motion the transformation of Piers 30-32 into what would become  Chase Center the home of the  Golden State Warriorshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Ting
  • RHD This looks like a lead balloon. You could buy a fantastic classic car for a hundred grand, or a Mercedes depreciationmobile. There isn't much reason to consider this over many other excellent vehicles that cost less. It's probably fast, but nothing else about it is in the least bit outstanding, except for the balance owed on the financing.
  • Jeff A bread van worthy of praise by Tassos.
  • Jeff The car itself is in really good shape and it is worth the money. It has lots of life left in it and can easily go over 200k.
  • IBx1 Awww my first comment got deletedTake your “millennial anti theft device” trope and wake up to the fact that we’re the only ones keeping manuals around.