Junkyard Find, Dude: 1988 Skater-ized Chevrolet Van

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin
junkyard find dude 1988 skater ized chevrolet van

When a truck gets turned into a band’s wretched gig-rig, you know it’s on its last owner prior to entering The Crusher’s waiting room. The same can be said about any car owned by Juggalos. Likewise, when a bunch of Denver/Boulder skater/snowboarder dudes get hold of a cargo van, that’s the end of the line. Here’s a thoroughly used-up Chevy G20 van that I spotted at a Denver self-service yard earlier in the week.

When you need to haul a dozen or so of your ragin’-est, board-equipped droogs to the mountains/ the pot dispensary/the dry swimming pool, nothing beats a great big windowless Molester Van for the task. You’ve got room for all your gear, plus cases of the local suds (and maybe even stronger stuff), and The Man can’t see everyone passing around the Sour-Diesel-packed four-footer in the back. Can you smell the stale weed smoke and sweaty socks through your computer screen?

Of course, sometimes conflicts arise over who gets the only passenger seat in the van. You can sit on a case of beer in the back and fight over who gets the proper seat… or you can establish a “Shotgun Code” for passengers. Note the enlightened vagina-beats-marijuana policy— these smooth-talkin’ dudes probably had no difficulty enticing XX-chromosome-equipped individuals into this totally unthreatening vehicle! There’s a stonily-executed nekkid-chick mural in the gallery, for those of you who aren’t reading this in The Man’s uptight cube farm.

Personally, I think the irony of using a GM “Dustbuster” minivan makes for a better Dudely Van™, but you take what you can get for $200 on Craigslist.

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  • Ehaase 1980-1982 Cougar XR-7 shared its wheelbase and body with the Thunderbird. I think the Cougar name was used for the 1977 and 1981 sedans, regular coupe and wagons (1977 and 1982 only) in an effort to replicate Oldsmobile's success using the Cutlass name on all its intermediates, although I wonder why Ford bothered, as the Granada/Cougar were replaced by the Fox LTD/Marquis in 1983.
  • Ken Accomando The Mark VIII was actually designed before the aero Bird, but FMC was nervous about the huge change in design, so it followed the Thunderbird a year. Remember, at this time, the 1983 Thunderbird was the first new aero Ford, with the Tempo soon following. It seems so obvious now but Ford was concerned if their buyers would accept the new aero look! To get the Lincoln buyers warmed up, they also debuted for the 1982 auto show season the Lincoln Concept 90…which really previewed the new Mark VII. Also, the new 1983 Thunderbird and Cougar debuted a little late, in Nov 1982, so perhaps that’s why they were left out of the full line brochures.
  • Tassos This is yesterday;s news, or even the day before. I reported it here yesterday, and commented on it. Do wake up.
  • 2ACL As far as manufacturers with US operations go? Current Focus or Fiesta. Honda e.As for those with no US operations, I've been intrigued by the Peugeot 508 Sport Engineered and Vauxhall Corsa Electric.
  • Tassos SNAAB shot itself in the foot when it BASTARDIZED its unique brand by BADGE ENGINEERING its vehicles with GOD DAMNED GM, OPEL, CHEVY, LANCIA and who knows what other automotive RIFF RAFF. I know of no Saab Enthusiast (they do exist) who felt sorry when the stupid maker went BANKRUPT.