Hammer Time: Choosing Partners

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

Commitment. It’s one of those words that is either an affirmation of your beliefs, or a fear ridden long-term deal with the devil.

Commitment also happens to be the double edged sword of automotive ownership.

It means sacrificing the fickle fashions of tomorrow for a vehicle that may gradually become more of a ‘daily companion’ than a passionate lover. While many of your friends and neighbors find new love and new trysts, you must chose to do more with an all too familiar partner for the open road.

Yes, the acceleration will gradually be in the rear view mirror of tomorrow’s front runners. The seats will age. The maintenance needs will lighten your wallet, and the avant garde of newness will give way to the less thrilling realities of beaterdom.

But then again, some partners offer a far better bang for the buck. Even when you’re reelin’ in the years and rollin’ away the time.

Marry The One You Love: Have you always longed for a 1st generation Miata? Then buy one! Even if it cost a little bit more to buy than say, the late Mercury Capri on the front end, the dividends of having your chosen chariot for a long-term relationship is far more intrinsically valuable and rewarding.

Car buyers who buy what they love usually take better care of their vehicles, drive them for longer periods of time, and in the long run… spend less. They also on average get far more money when it comes time to sell their car.

So forget about ‘the deal’ serving as priority one when buying your next car. I have yet to find a car owner who has told me, “I’m in love with the rebates, incentives and APR financing for my car!” But then again, most of my friends don’t drive stripped out Cobalts.

Keep It Young: A nice day out in the sun may make a 20-something look even better. But years of UV exposure do a devastating number on your skin.

The same is true with your car. If you are one of those people who uses their garage to hold various forms of worthless bric-a-brac instead of your daily ride, do yourself a favor. Throw out or move all that unused furniture, storage containers, and sentimental drek and put your car in it’s rightful place.

Keep it waxed once a year. Give the interior the occasional cleaning, and you’re good to go for a decade plus. If you have the true inclinations of a long-term keeper, a session with a dent removal specialist once every two years will also be money well spent.

You would be surprised how ‘new’ an old car can be.

Don’t Play The Field: Are you looking at car porn again? Geez! Don’t you know that what you’re looking at isn’t quite real?

No joke. That nice pciture of a 370Z doing a drift down some winding road in Deliverance country is about as relevant and realistic as a porn star’s moaning and groaning. Yes, it can be done. But the guy with that car is a trained professional and, Ron Jeremy is… well… let’s forget about that analogy!

Truth be told, the more ‘goodness’ you put into your car, the less willing you will be to leave it. So the next time you get the urge to dream about the un-doable, go to Ebay and buy that loving companion of yours a nice bra!

Fall In Love… Again: It’s easy to fall in love again when it comes to cars. In fact, I would argue that it is easier to fall in love with an old car than it is to revive a dormant old relationship. An old car can almost always be brought back to the personality it once had. Struts, seats, body parts, engines and transmissions can all be replaced with the very best the aftermarket has to offer.

You can always change a car’s personality. Old friends and ‘associates’ are not nearly as malleable.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • Maniacmous Maniacmous on Apr 11, 2012

    This article really makes me miss my old 1988 Mercury Grand Marquis. Would have another in a heartbeat if I could stomach the fuel bill. I wish I had the money and the knowledge to put a modern powerplant and transmission into one. I think the old Windsor only had like 150 HP - I could get that out of a modern 4 cylinder without too much trouble, have similar power/torque, modern reliability, and far lower MPG....ah, if only.

    • Chicagoland Chicagoland on Apr 12, 2012

      The new 4 bangers don't have the torque to haul the heavy Grand Marq around, though.

  • Flatout05 Flatout05 on Apr 12, 2012

    Great post! We have three Hondas, all with over 120,000 miles. We have no plans to get rid of any of them until my kids are done with college - 6 years from now. My strategy for keeping cars long-term is this: If you have one niggling problem, let it slide. But the instant you have TWO niggling problems, make an appointment to get them both fixed. Sure, it feels silly and expensive to sit in the dealership all morning while they replace a dashboard lightbulb and address a loose speaker wire. But this way, you avoid those little problems that add up until you say, "Hey, this thing's a POS - time for a new one!"

  • ToolGuy First picture: I realize that opinions vary on the height of modern trucks, but that entry door on the building is 80 inches tall and hits just below the headlights. Does anyone really believe this is reasonable?Second picture: I do not believe that is a good parking spot to be able to access the bed storage. More specifically, how do you plan to unload topsoil with the truck parked like that? Maybe you kids are taller than me.
  • ToolGuy The other day I attempted to check the engine oil in one of my old embarrassing vehicles and I guess the red shop towel I used wasn't genuine Snap-on (lots of counterfeits floating around) plus my driveway isn't completely level and long story short, the engine seized 3 minutes later.No more used cars for me, and nothing but dealer service from here on in (the journalists were right).
  • Doughboy Wow, Merc knocks it out of the park with their naming convention… again. /s
  • Doughboy I’ve seen car bras before, but never car beards. ZZ Top would be proud.
  • Bkojote Allright, actual person who knows trucks here, the article gets it a bit wrong.First off, the Maverick is not at all comparable to a Tacoma just because they're both Hybrids. Or lemme be blunt, the butch-est non-hybrid Maverick Tremor is suitable for 2/10 difficulty trails, a Trailhunter is for about 5/10 or maybe 6/10, just about the upper end of any stock vehicle you're buying from the factory. Aside from a Sasquatch Bronco or Rubicon Jeep Wrangler you're looking at something you're towing back if you want more capability (or perhaps something you /wish/ you were towing back.)Now, where the real world difference should play out is on the trail, where a lot of low speed crawling usually saps efficiency, especially when loaded to the gills. Real world MPG from a 4Runner is about 12-13mpg, So if this loaded-with-overlander-catalog Trailhunter is still pulling in the 20's - or even 18-19, that's a massive improvement.
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