The Undead: Zombie HUMMER Haunts Tokyo's Red-Light District
The other day, I walk (don’t ask why and what for) through Tokyo’s red-light district, known to connoisseurs as Kabukicho, and I spot some HUMMERs curbside. HUMMERs are not new to the neighborhood. In Japan, HUMMERs used to be popular with certain groups, known as the Yakuza, who also frequent Kabukicho.
However, they had H2s, not the HUMMERs I saw.
Those HUMMERs were bicycles. Exactly two years after the final death of HUMMER, the ostentatious brand (including the “Like nothing else” tagline) lives on on two wheels.
Again, the brand is hanging on for dear life. Even on two wheels, it must not be doing too well. Up on the wall at Don Quijote, a famous Japanese chain of chaotic discount stores, the bicycle has been marked down from already bargain-basement 21,800 yen ($261 ) to 19,800 yen ($237).
Here in Japan, I would be hard pressed to get a new, gearless mamachari for that money, let alone a factory-new HUMMER. Can’t we let a brand die an honorable death? Do we need to be reminded that in this neighborhood, other types of hummers traditionally are sold?
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Walking through Tokyo's red light district? Don't ask why or what for? It's because the answer is obvious: research! Even Voltaire once visited the Marquis de Sade. When invited back, he declined, explaining, "once is science; twice is perversion."
I, too, recall seeing Hummer brand bikes at Sam's. It's tough to tell from the photos, but it appears that they are the folding bikes that looked disturbingly like Klein Matras. Back then, they weren't worth more than a couple hundred bucks. I don't recall a 12" rise on the stem, though. Someone must have found them in an abandoned warehouse and figured trying to sell them cheap(er) was better than simply throwing them away.