By on March 15, 2012


The other day, I walk (don’t ask why and what for) through Tokyo’s red-light district, known to connoisseurs as Kabukicho, and I spot some HUMMERs curbside. HUMMERs are not new to the neighborhood. In Japan, HUMMERs used to be popular with certain groups, known as the Yakuza, who also frequent Kabukicho.

However, they had H2s, not the HUMMERs I saw.
Those HUMMERs were bicycles. Exactly two years after the final death of HUMMER, the ostentatious brand (including the “Like nothing else” tagline) lives on on two wheels.

Again, the brand is hanging on for dear life. Even on two wheels, it must not be doing too well. Up on the wall at Don Quijote, a famous Japanese chain of chaotic discount stores, the bicycle has been marked down from already bargain-basement 21,800 yen ($261 ) to 19,800 yen ($237).

Here in Japan, I would be hard pressed to get a new, gearless mamachari for that money, let alone a factory-new HUMMER.  Can’t we let a brand die an honorable death? Do we need to be reminded that in this neighborhood, other types of hummers traditionally are sold?

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12 Comments on “The Undead: Zombie HUMMER Haunts Tokyo’s Red-Light District...”

  • avatar

    This brand of bikes has been out for a while. Even when the brand was hot, bicyclists knew these were junk.

  • avatar

    I have a nephew with a Hummer bike, the components are cheap and disposable which means they can’t be serviced and it’s unbelievably heavy.
    But it does have a nice bright yellow paint job.
    Hummer bikes are no better then department store bikes, crudely made junk to be avoided at all costs. Kind of like a real Hummer when you think about it.

    • 0 avatar

      I don’t know what kind of components were hung on this thing, so I can’t say if they are good or bad. As for the weight, at 29 pounds it isn’t all that heavy as mountain bikes go….heck, back in the day Schwinn sold 40 pound Varsity and Continental “light weight” models by the millions.

      The reason this thing was a failure is because it really doesn’t have true off road capability, doesn’t handle, and doesn’t offer much in the way of utility. In other words, it mimics its 4 wheel namesake perfectly.

  • avatar

    at 200 n change for a bike, u know it cant be too serious, a serious bike will cost that kind of mulla for either a wheel, gear hub or a few titanium screws.

    so hummer is kind of laying dormant now?

    • 0 avatar

      This attitude, that a bike is only good if it is expensive, is why I hate the bicycle community. I don’t have money, and right now I’m riding a rusted out Huffy I got for free. It still gets me everywhere I need to go. Expensive bikes are very nice but way overrated, and there are not enough options in the middle.

      I find it ironic that when you get a “cheap” bike, you can get a cruiser with fenders for less than $100, but when you get a “serious” bike, you are expected to buy the fenders, which may cost as much as that cheap bike for fenders alone. That’s what I call a rip-off.

    • 0 avatar

      Does that mean that a comment that cannot afford capitals or even all of the letters for all of the words that come with it can’t be taken seriously either?

  • avatar

    An honorable death wouldn’t really make sense for Hummer. The whole brand struck me as opportunistic and shallow.

  • avatar

    You laugh but someday there will be a Hummer in a museum parked next to one of Elvis’ Caddy convertibles as part of an exhibit on the decadence at the end of the 20th century.

  • avatar

    These were available at Sam’s Club stores in the US fairly recently.

  • avatar

    Walking through Tokyo’s red light district? Don’t ask why or what for? It’s because the answer is obvious: research! Even Voltaire once visited the Marquis de Sade. When invited back, he declined, explaining, “once is science; twice is perversion.”

  • avatar

    I, too, recall seeing Hummer brand bikes at Sam’s. It’s tough to tell from the photos, but it appears that they are the folding bikes that looked disturbingly like Klein Matras. Back then, they weren’t worth more than a couple hundred bucks. I don’t recall a 12″ rise on the stem, though.

    Someone must have found them in an abandoned warehouse and figured trying to sell them cheap(er) was better than simply throwing them away.

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