Car Collector's Corner: When Good Looks Can Really Kill

J Sutherland
by J Sutherland

The bygone era of Detroit included many very stylish rides. This fact is one of the big reasons that old iron has such incredible curb appeal in 2012. They don’t make ‘em like they used to – and that includes dangerous style choices.

Don’t kill the messenger on these points, but there were several engineering choices that would have Ralph Nader spinning in his grave-if he was dead.

The fastback roofline of the 60s would be high on the list. The massive metal found on a first generation Charger’s rear roof pillar looked great, but you would have to possess Superman’s X-ray vision to see a car beside you in traffic.

The blind spot on the early 70s fastback Mustangs was a giant road hazard for any driver that was cocky enough to switch lanes on an impulse. A 1963 Sting Ray is an investor’s dream, but its split rear window meant that drivers entered other traffic lanes at their own peril.

The standard rule of thumb for most fastback owners from the muscle car era was simple: buy the baddest meanest big block in the stable and stay so far ahead of other cars that lane changes were not an issue.

Suicide doors have a limited application in today’s automotive world, but they were a fundamental part of a pre and post war car in yesteryear. Cars were not exactly kid safety friendly in those days, so an errant tug on a rear door handle could easily launch a kid into a rhythmic bounce down a highway.

The hideaway headlight concept has been around for a long time, with a huge golden era in the 60s and 70s. It is easy to understand why the hidden headlight look was so popular-it just looked so damned good on a car.

The only downside was the mechanical function of the hidden lights, typically run by a vacuum system and subject to problems like complete failure to open, or open and shut blinking. Either way it complicated night driving when headlights stayed tucked comfortably into the grill.

One of the nicer features of older cars are their dashboard and their steering wheels. They had lots of chrome and sharp protuberances (sharp pointy things) extending from the dash and steering wheels.

An unlucky and unbelted driver and/or passengers could easily get impaled on these items as they flew forward. The only upside (and it was a weak upside) was their guest appearances in an old guidance film about automobile safety.

However, it is very unlikely that any of them wanted to be movie star stiffs simply because old style cars impaled them on car bling.

The final item for discussion is fender skirts. Fender skirts were a highly desirable automotive fashion accessory for many car owners – until they had a flat tire. That is the exact moment when function trumped style for these owners.

For more of J Sutherland’s work go to mystarcollectorcar.com

J Sutherland
J Sutherland

Online collector car writer/webmaster and enthusiast

More by J Sutherland

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  • Kolonelpanik Kolonelpanik on Feb 24, 2012

    The ascendancy of aggressively tasteless form over function of American cars in general, during the last half of the last century, was appalling, wasteful, and lethal. An embarrassment to decency. And please, J Sutherland, don't say "if he was dead." If something is not the case, and we want to speculate on the consequences of a counter-factual, then we should say "If it WERE the case..." So, yes, perhaps Mr. Nader would roll over in his grave IF HE WERE dead." And, while I'm at it, please don't explain words like "protuberances," especially partially in terms of the very context in which they appear, i.e., "sharp protuberances (sharp pointy things)." Sharp is sharp, we know that, and if you think we might not know what protuberances are, then just don't use the word in the first place. A disappointing article about a fascinating subject.

  • Kolonelpanik Kolonelpanik on Feb 24, 2012

    Whoops, sorry.

  • ToolGuy First picture: I realize that opinions vary on the height of modern trucks, but that entry door on the building is 80 inches tall and hits just below the headlights. Does anyone really believe this is reasonable?Second picture: I do not believe that is a good parking spot to be able to access the bed storage. More specifically, how do you plan to unload topsoil with the truck parked like that? Maybe you kids are taller than me.
  • ToolGuy The other day I attempted to check the engine oil in one of my old embarrassing vehicles and I guess the red shop towel I used wasn't genuine Snap-on (lots of counterfeits floating around) plus my driveway isn't completely level and long story short, the engine seized 3 minutes later.No more used cars for me, and nothing but dealer service from here on in (the journalists were right).
  • Doughboy Wow, Merc knocks it out of the park with their naming convention… again. /s
  • Doughboy I’ve seen car bras before, but never car beards. ZZ Top would be proud.
  • Bkojote Allright, actual person who knows trucks here, the article gets it a bit wrong.First off, the Maverick is not at all comparable to a Tacoma just because they're both Hybrids. Or lemme be blunt, the butch-est non-hybrid Maverick Tremor is suitable for 2/10 difficulty trails, a Trailhunter is for about 5/10 or maybe 6/10, just about the upper end of any stock vehicle you're buying from the factory. Aside from a Sasquatch Bronco or Rubicon Jeep Wrangler you're looking at something you're towing back if you want more capability (or perhaps something you /wish/ you were towing back.)Now, where the real world difference should play out is on the trail, where a lot of low speed crawling usually saps efficiency, especially when loaded to the gills. Real world MPG from a 4Runner is about 12-13mpg, So if this loaded-with-overlander-catalog Trailhunter is still pulling in the 20's - or even 18-19, that's a massive improvement.
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