By on January 13, 2012

German tuner Ruf is coming to China. He did what everybody should do who is setting up shop in another land: Do thorough market research. When he asked what Chinese like, the answer was: “Long!” With that in mind, Ruf made what the Chinese market (possibly) wants: A stretched Porsche Panamera.

This thing is a full 40 centimeters (that’s a little less than a foot and a half for the metrically challenged) longer than stock. I would have called in “Max Legroom” and would have created a cartoon character. Instead, Ruf opted for “XL”.

In China, the car may have to contend with a factory-stretched Panamera. The Dutch version of Autoblog says that Porsche will combat penis envy cramped rear compartments with a Panamera that gained a mere 12 cm in length. The accompanying picture shows the subtle shapes of a dildo.

Tip o’the coolie hat to Tycho at Carnewschina, who keeps an eye on these developments. He has more pictures.

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15 Comments on “Introducing The All New Porsche Paaaaaaaanamera (Chinese Spec)...”

  • avatar

    What is it with the Chinese and stretched cars? It’s not like most of them are tall.

    • 0 avatar

      Back seat is privileged

    • 0 avatar

      Well, firstly wealthy and powerful folks tend to be taller in many places and especially so in China since a large part of the shorter stature is due to poorer nutrition in the past due to less food availability since China is only recently wealthy so it’s not really correct to assume that car purchasers are short. Anybody who’s actually been to China and isn’t talking out of their butt would know there’s plenty of tall people there.
      And secondly, anybody who can afford this thing absolutely can afford a driver as well as probably several housekeepers. Even the upper middle class will typically have a housekeeper in China and most southeast asian countries as well so for general commuting use you make your driver take you.

  • avatar

    The shape of the XL looks all wrong. Missing some symmetry.

    Also, I’ve always thought the Panamera has looked like a dildo, and not a good one.

  • avatar

    more evidence that people don’t buy cars. they buy badges. and the manufacturer attaches 2 tons of poorly scupted steel to the badge to justify the price of the badge. this thing is heinous.

  • avatar

    Ohmygawd, I’m gonna be sick.

  • avatar

    Congratulations, Porshe, someone finally out did the American OEMs on B pillar thickness!

    At least they should cut a hole and put a piece of glass in it like Ford did in the 1970’s.

    • 0 avatar

      Ooooh, and Opera lights too, It needs opera lights. Oh and curb feelers. Porsche doesn’t exactly give out those 20in wheels for free. It would be a shame to have your idiot driver curb them as you pull up to (insert useless social event here).

  • avatar

    Phallic much? Compensation at it’s most patent levels. Funny that this is going to China.

    It really bothers me that they have managed to make an unattractive car, even more unattractive. Lengthening the car, ruins one of the few remaining Porsche cues: the uninterrupted roof-to-trunk look.

    • 0 avatar

      an unattractive car

      ? In person I think they are very attractive.

      • 0 avatar

        I guy at the gym I go to has a 4S. We talked about it for a few min in the parking lot. He let me start it up and drive it around the block. As expected, it drove great, but I could never get over how bloated it looks. Maybe its the color he has, a lifeless gray or silver color) Given a choice,I would choose a late XJR or a current XFR every time. Thy may be dynamically inferior (not by much) but they seem so much more classy.

  • avatar

    Ruf /= Porsche. They get the cars as body in white and complete the manufacturing. They are considered a manufacturer and have their own VINs. Somewhat more than the pre-WW2 bespoke body specialists, somewhat less than a complete manufacturer.
    But this thing is a looooonnnng (beg pardon) way from a Yellowbird, isn’t it?
    The Porsche stretch at 12cm/5in – probably barely noticeable. If you hate the regular one, you’ll hate the Porsche ministretch also.
    Meanwhile Ruf will coin money from self important rich Chinese.

  • avatar

  • avatar

    As a Panamera fan, I really like it. Kudos to Ruf!

  • avatar

    This is beyond hideous.

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